My Little Pony - DEATH BATTLE (Hiatus)
by Rosewood Reaper
Summary: My own take on the infamous 'DEATH BATTLE' - Series by Screwattack. Watch as the MLP cast reacts to themselves fighting against opponents from across the multiverse. (Currently on hiatus, since I just don't have the time for writing)
1. Welcome to the Show

**Welcome to the Show**

"Hey Twi, do we really have to search through the entire castle for your diary?" Spike asked in confusion as he sat on the back of his friend/older sister/boss.

"It's a journal, Spike, and yes, I need your help to find it. There are just too many rooms here for me to search alone," Twilight explained while looking into one of said rooms.

"Seriously though, why are there so many of them? It's like bucking a maze in here," Rainbow Dash said, hovering above her friends and lazily looking around. "It's even bigger from the inside than it looks from outside. And it already looks friggin' huge!"

"But this is just like an adventure! We're looking for a secret book containing dark and eldritch truths, before any meanie-no-pants finds it and uses it to take over the world!" Pinkie cheered while bouncing happily from one room to the next.

"How would that even work? Ah doubt anypony could take over Equestria just by knowing Twilight's secret fetishes," Applejack deadpanned.

"You never know," Pinkie sang cheerfully.

"Let's just check a few more rooms and move on," Starlight sighed, walking past a blushing and sputtering Twilight.

"Don't know about you, but I would prefer to take a nap or something. Anything is better than this," Dash groaned after finding yet another broom closet.

"Starlight's right, darling. We should continue before we lose track of time. Celestia knows how long it'll take to check all of them," Rarity suggested, while peeking into one of the rooms. "I never thought that you would need so many rooms, Twilight."

"It still amazes me, and I haven't mapped them all out yet. What about you, Fluttershy? Did you and Discord find anything?" Twilight asked, looking into yet (you guessed it) another room. Hearing no answer, Twilight looked down the hallway and saw that two of her friends were nowhere to be seen. "Fluttershy? Discord? Where are you?" Twilight yelled, trotting down the hallway, the others following her.

"Sugarcube, Ah'm sure they're fine," Applejack reassured her.

"I just need to be sure. Fluttershy? Discord? Can you hear me?" Twilight called out.

"In here," a male voice called out from one of the rooms. The group of friends looked around and saw that one of the doors was slightly open. Walking inside, the group saw their two missing friends standing next to a huge box. The room itself was on the big side, the seats and couches giving it the homely feeling of an old theatre.

Discord seemed to be juggling a few smaller boxes, as Fluttershy tried to lift a black, rectangular object out of the larger box. Everypony, minus Twilight, was curious and got closer to see what the two were doing while the purple pony just looked confused.

"Hey, what's that room for again?" asked Starlight while joining Discord.

"No idea. We never had the time to check every single room in the castle," Spike answered, jumping on one of the many comfy-looking couches in the room. "But this one is awesome! Think of all the sleepovers we could make in here!"

"Yay, sleepover party!" Pinkie shouted, jumping from one couch to another.

"Hey, check out that large screen! Wonder what it is good for?" Rainbow added as Applejack experimentally tapped against it in curiosity.

Twilight finally got out of her stupor and walked up to her friends. This was her castle after all, and she was just as curious as everpony else what this mysterious room was hiding.

As she investigated the contents of the box everypony could almost hear the gears in her head stop grinding.

"Twi? Ya okay sugarcube?" Applejack asked worriedly. "Ya look like BigMac after mah sister asked him where the little ponies came from."

"These... are devices I saw in the alternative Equestria!" Twilight exclaimed as she pulled them out. "Those boxes contain DVD's. This is a DVD Player. Fluttershy is holding the remote. And that big screen is most likely a television screen!" She took a deep breath.

"Spike, Starlight, take all of these things out, I need to check on something!"

Without waiting for a response she teleported away with a flash, leaving the rest to wonder what just happened. Spike jumped of the couch and took one of the boxes from Discord's claws. They all had the same title written on them:

"_**Death Battle: Equestria Edition**_," Spike read aloud.

Noticing a short description on the back, he continued:

**_"Since the beginning of time, there has been one ultimate question: Which hero would claim victory over the other? Which villain reigns supreme? Who... would win in a fight? Can the residents of Equestria hold their ground against foes from all around the multiverse? New commentators! Battles you have never seen before! It's time, for a DEATH BATTLE!"  
_**

"That's... a strange synopsis," Starlight muttered.

Discord, on the other hoof, smiled widely. "Oh, this sounds fun!"

"It's about fighting? Awesome!" Rainbow cheered.

"But what is this all about? Spiky, darling, what are those... things?" asked Rarity as she picked the case with her magic, reading the description.

"Oh, the humans in that other dimension have those boxes they can use to watch plays they have recorded with some kind of super-camera. The pictures those things make can move and make sounds. They are stored on the shiny rings in the cases and then can be watched over and over again. It's pretty neat," Spike explained.

"Right, I remember seeing them in that mall back when I visited Sunset," Starlight mused.

"That sounds interesting, but why would they use this for fighting?" Fluttershy asked meekly.

"Because fights are awesome, aren't you excited?" answered Dash. "Oh right, you would probably prefer something with animals, would you?"

Fluttershy just hid behind her mane, her checks blushing slightly.

Twilight used that particularly moment to teleport back in, a confused (and wet?) Sunset Shimmer in her telekinetic grab.

"Where'd you go Twilight? And why's Sunset here?" asked a befuddled Starlight. "Nice to see you again, by the way."

"The technology and the other things in the box reminded me of the other Equestria, so I visited it and took Sunset Shimmer with me. She'll be able to answer any question we might have," Twilight exclaimed proudly.

"... I was just enjoying a nice, warm bubble-bath after a long day of work, when Twilight SMASHED the door in, GRAPPED and DRAGGED me through the town to the portal... while I was STARK NAKED! If this is not important, I swear to Celestia, SOMEPONY is going to die tonight!"

* * *

\- After the others explained everything to her (and prevented her from incinerating Twilight alive) -

"So, what do you think?" asked Twilight, rubbing some lotion on her burn marks.

"Yeah, no idea why this stuff appeared in your castle, or Equestria for that matter. I also never heard of anything like this before. Discord?"

"Nope, wasn't me. Do you really think I would have the patience to wait for you to stumble upon this room? Or not take credit for this chaos?" Discord grinned, while laying on a cotton candy cloud, painting his nails with... mustard?

"Point taken. So, what do we do?" asked Twilight.

"Well, since you dragged me here, I don't want to leave with empty hands... hooves. I say we should at least check it out."

"Fine, just let me get some paper and quills first. I need them to make notes."

"Of course," sighed Spike. "So, do you know how this thing actually works?"

"Ehh..."

"Oh, don't worry, I got it covered," Sunset assured her.

"Finally!" Discord shouted, turning his cloud into a flying toast (with extra cheese). "But first...," a snap of his paw and five other figures appeared in the room, all of them falling. Discord caught a certain sun princess before she hit the floor, while a startled Luna somehow managed to land gracefully. Everpony else crashed into the ground.

Yes, Trixie, Shining Armour and Cadance suddenly got very intimate with the floor.

"Ugh, what the hay happened?" Candance asked, rubbing her head.

"Only the best thing ever!" Discord replied, smirking. "Nice view, by the way."

Cadance blushed and jumped back on her hooves. Shining growled.

"Stop starring on the flank of my wife! What is this about anyway? I swear, if this one of your so-called jokes again..."

"Shining Armour, please calm down. But he has a point Discord, what is the meaning of this?" Celestia asked firmly walking up to Sunset and Twilight, greeting them both.

"The Great and Hurt Trixie wants to know as well," Trixie exclaimed. "Also, Starlight, please stop staring at Trixie's flank and help Trixie up."

Discord simply pointed to Twilight. With all heads turned to her she chuckled nervously for a moment before beginning to explain.

* * *

\- Another short explanation later -

"Interesting," Luna mused. "Artefacts from a different realm, which mysteriously appeared in your castle? This entire room? Could it be yet another present from the Tree of Harmony?"

"Why would the tree give us something that contains fighting, and possibly violence? That doesn't seem to be very... well, harmonic," Cadance argued.

"Maybe, but sometimes you have to fight for peace and harmony," Shining responded. "Maybe it wants us to learn something useful for future conflicts?"

"Wisely said. But whatever the case, we will never find out by just standing around arguing. There is only one thing we can do to get some answers," Celestia summarized.

The rest of the group agreed, except for Discord who was starting to get bored with the lack of havoc. "Are you done philosophing yet? Good, now let's get started!"

"What about you, princesses? Don't you have more important things to get done?" Rarity asked.

"Nothing pressing, and after dealing with the court all day, I personally could use a break," Celestia replied.

"Agreed," both Luna and Cadance added.

"Trixie was travelling to Manehattan for her next show, but if anypony promise to bring her there in time, Trixie will gladly enlighten everpony with her presence."

"I'll get the snacks!" Pinkie declared, ignoring Trixie, before zipping away, leaving a slowly disappearing afterimage of her.

"And I've already set up the rest," Sunset said with a smirk, the DVD player plugged into an outlet on the wall.

"Well, I guess there's just one thing left to do but sit and watch," Spike grinned.

Pinkie arrived a moment later, balancing a platter with some cupcakes, popcorn and potato chips on her head.

"And I have everything right here," Pinkie yelled, placing it on the table before taking a seat and grabbing a few cupcakes with her tail.

"Good. Now, let's start this thing. I wanna see what this thing is all about," Rainbow cheered as she got comfortable on her personal cloud couch.

"Might as well," Twilight sighed as she used the remote to start the first episode.


	2. Princess Celestia vs Muten-Roshi

**Battle of the Mentors: Princess Celestia vs. Muten-Roshi (Dragon Ball)**

"Well, I guess there's just one thing left to do but sit and watch," Spike grinned.

Pinkie arrived a moment later, balancing a platter with some cupcakes, popcorn and potato chips on her head.

"And I have everything right here," Pinkie yelled, placing it on the table before taking a seat and grabbing a few cupcakes with her tail.

"Good. Now, let's start this thing. I wanna see what this thing is all about," Rainbow cheered as she got comfortable on her personal cloud couch.

"Might as well," Twilight sighed as she used the remote to start the first episode.

* * *

**Rosewood: Twilight Sparkle.**

**Jenny: Son Goku.**

****Rosewood**: Two heroes that saved their worlds on multiple occasions.**

**Jenny****: And like every good hero out there, they started their journeys under the tutelage of one wise and ancient teacher.**

****Rosewood**: Celestia, Princess of Equestria.**

"Me?" asked a perplexed Celestia. "Wait, ANCIENT?!"

**Jenny****: And Master Muten-Roshi, the Turtle Hermit.**

"And you're gonna fight a frail, old man?" Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Overkill much?"

****Rosewood**: I'm ****Rosewood Reaper.**

"Hi!" cheered Pinkie, waving wildly at the screen.

**Jenny****: And I'm Jenny Everywhere! The one and only!**

"Hi again!"

****Rosewood**: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win... in a fight to the end.**

"So the princess is fighting?" stated a confused Starlight. "But why? And why him?"

"Now that I think about it, this kinda resembles some shows I have seen back at home," Sunset noticed . "Looks like this is about people and ponies fighting against opponents from other dimensions."

"Why would they do that?" asked Rarity, tilting her head.

"Who knows? But this should be entertaining."

"Other dimensions," mumbled Twilight, her eyes sparkling.

* * *

**PRINCESS CELESTIA**

**BACKGROUND**

**\- Race: Pony (Alicorn, formerly unicorn)  
**

**\- Height: 7' / 213 cm**

**\- Weight: Unknown (Did you think we're stupid enough to ask?)**

**\- Age: Over 1.111 years**

**\- Occupation: Princess of Equestria**

**\- Hobbies: Watching over her ponies, pranks, eating cake**

* * *

"Eating cake!" laughed Discord. "They got that right!"

"You like pranks too?" asked an excited Pinkie, giving the princess a wide grin.

"Of course she doesn't! This is Princess Celestia we're talking about!" argued Twilight, huffing.

"Ahw," moaned the disappointed pink pony, before noticing Celestia giving her a little wink, cheering her up.

******Rosewood**: **Over a thousand years ago, the three tribes of ponies lived separately. But after driving out the wendigos with the Fire of Friendship, the leaders of the earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns agreed to unify under a single country: Equestria.**

**Jenny****: Aka Magical Ponyland.**

******Rosewood**: **Of course, rulership of this new country was a major concern, seeing how the three tribes had only recently stopped fighting. The leaders of the three tribes, along with the wizard Starswirl the Bearded, searched across the land for the perfect candidates. So what better choice was there than two young sisters?**

* * *

_**\- The screen showed Princess Celestia and Princess Luna as little fillies. -**_

* * *

"You're so cute!" gushed Cadance, giggling. "So tiny and adorable!"

**Jenny****: Was that supposed to be sarcasm?  
**

******Rosewood**: **In their defence, the young Celestia and Luna had several unique qualifications. As the only two alicorn type ponies in the world, they had the distinct characteristics of all three pony tribes, making them a great symbolic choice for the new kingdom's leadership. For another, alicorns lived far longer than your typical ponies, so they would be able to keep the kingdom stable.**

**Jenny****: But they're not even in charge! They're princesses, not queens! That doesn't make sense!**

"Don't say it," everypony said simultaneously.

"You guys are no fun," grumbled Discord, but smiled when Fluttershy offered him some cookies.

******Rosewood**: **Well, there are three main explanations. The first is that the two princesses initially had ceremonial roles, and only became actual rulers after the three tribes were culturally unified. The other is that they hoped to appear more approachable to the masses. Another explanation is that 'princeps' is the root for 'princess'. 'Princeps' means 'first' or 'ruler', therefore 'Princess of Ponies' would mean 'First of the Ponies' or 'Ruler of Ponies', or even 'Most Eminent of Ponies'. Take your pick.**

"It's neither. They just thought they'll sound younger that way," Discord giggled, before getting body-checked by two certain alicorns.

**Jenny****: Whatever. While Luna had her own adventures, discovering zebra tribes and befriending manticores like any good princess should, Celestia developed a strong bond with Starswirl, forged by their common obsession for knowledge and magic. He showed her the Tree of Harmony, a magical tree that is the focal point of Harmonious Magic in Equestria. And later, when a dragon stole the Crystal Heart from the allied Crystal Empire, Celestia was able to get it back. All she had to do was keep calm, burst into flames, and yell threats at the dragon until it fled in terror! Atta girl!**

Rainbow blinked slowly, before getting up from her cloud and landing on the ground, facing the sun monarch. "Princess, I have only one thing to say."

"And what would that be, my little pony?"

*PUMF!*

Starlight and Fluttershy jumped to the side a bit as Rainbow's wings shot up at attention.

Twilight gaped at her, while Spike and Trixie covered their mouths to contain a snicker, Applejack, Starlight and Sunset gave her a blank stare while Rarity raised an eyebrow and Fluttershy blushed. Discord, Cadence, Shining Armor and Luna actually blinked while Celestia went wide-eyed, blushed, and her ears pressed back lightly.

"Yes, Miss Dash?" Celestia asked awkwardly.

"No, that was it," Rainbow assured quickly, blushing despite her straight face.

"BWAHAHAHAH!" cue Discord and Sunset rolling on the floor and laughing their asses off.

"Hehe... hehe... hehe," cue Luna struggling not to join them. "AHAHAHAHA!"

Cue her failing.

"Fret not, our multi-coloured friend! Thy reaction is most appropriate." Luna smirked playfully before returning to her laughing, leaving Rainbow flying back to her seat with an awkward grin.

******Rosewood**: **The pivotal moment came one day when the two sisters woke up in the morning only to discover that the sun wouldn't rise. As it turned out, the sun and moon of this world needed to be moved via magic. And the teams of unicorns that had previously been dedicated to this task had been depleted of their magic. Even their mentor Starswirl couldn't help.**

**Jenny****: It was on that day that the two sisters, acting on instincts they never knew they even had, would raise and lower the sun and moon for the first time. And from that day onwards, Celestia would be Princess of the Sun, commanding the sun's movement for countless centuries.**

"So that is how it went," hummed Twilight, taking notes.

******Rosewood**: **There are countless reasons that Celestia was able to rule over Equestria for so many centuries. First, it's important to understand what an alicorn really is. They combine the best traits and magical abilities of the three tribes into one being. Thus, it is important to understand what exactly each tribe of ponies is capable of.**

"Yay, science," said Discord, yawning.

"Yay, science!" cheered Twilight.

**Jenny****: Earth ponies, despite lacking a horn or wings, have supernatural strength, durability, and stamina. For example, teams of four earth ponies were used to carry trains for hours on end. They can throw boulders across the horizon, pound rocks into powder with their hooves and drag two-story houses behind them with ease. And Celestia can humiliate them in a hoof wrestling contest, meaning she's at least on the upper end of the spectrum! Hey Rose, can you do the math?**

* * *

_**\- Cue several scenes where Maud caused a fallout by kicking a boulder, BigMac dragging a house behind him and Celestia annihilated him in a hoof-wrestling contest. -**_

* * *

"Ok, where the buck did they got all this footage from?!" asked a confused Starlight.

"Don't question it," advised Sunset, patting her on the back.

"Hi Maud!"

******Rosewood**: **Well, seeing how the distance between that one pony throwing the rock and the horizon is about 3.500 meters, and the boulder being thrown is about a meter across... that boulder could easily weigh around 3.000 pounds. For comparison, a trebuchet, which fired at a similarly high angle, usually fired rocks of around 150 or so pounds, and had a range of about maybe 300 meters. Kinetic Energy can be measured by using mass and velocity. Since a trebuchet throws 150-pound boulders at 300 meters, or 470 if you account for their arcs, within five seconds, that means trebuchet shots have around 300.000 Joules of energy. Applying the higher values of the rock throw suggests a value 2.700 times greater, 810 million Joules. That's a lightning bolt's worth of kinetic energy, and you know how much those have.**

The only sound that could be heard was from Twilight, her quill practically flying over the scroll.

**Jenny****: (Awed) That's like having 200 pounds of TNT behind the casual tossing of a rock! Note to myself: don't piss of the cute little ponies or they buck me to kingdom come. Innuendo intended.**

"I was never so proud to be an earth pony," said Applejack, a small blush on her cheeks.

******Rosewood**: **That's a good segue into Celestia's pegasus abilities. Pegasi are capable of flight and weather manipulation, and the fastest flyers can go at speeds of over Mach 5. It's rumoured that Celestia herself was the first pony ever to perform a Sonic Rainboom, putting her at over MACH 10!**

Rainbow's wings shot up again, much to the mirth of the others.

**Jenny****: Last of all, Celestia has the spell-casting abilities of a unicorn, including the standard telekinesis they all have. And this is where she really shines.**

Twilight squeaked in excitement, grapping a fresh scroll.

******Rosewood**: **Ever since she was tutored by Starswirl the Bearded, Celestia has eagerly learned new spells, something aided by her high magical reserves. Her spells include shields, pyrokinesis, teleportation, dispelling enchantments, and energy blasts. And her mental protections against mental attacks and manipulation are top tier, able to fend off the equally powerful Nightmare Moon for centuries without fail.**

"That's one impressive list," awed Starlight, casting a glance to the sheepish looking sun princess.

**Jenny****: But Celestia also has some tricks you wouldn't expect. Like copying Nightmare Moon's shadow form, using fire instead.**

Luna looked at Celestia. Celestia looked at Luna.

"Knock-off," huffed Luna, returning her eyes back to the screen.

**Jenny****: Or you know, dark magic!**

******Rosewood**: **Indeed. Celestia has enough mastery over herself and her craft to perform some basic dark magic with no negative consequences. It is mainly used for creating crystalline structures, which can either be used as ordinary heavy rocks or even form teleport-proof cages. This magic is similar to the abilities that umbrum-unicorns possess, like King Sombra.**

"Dark magic, too?" Sunset poked Celestia's right front leg. "Why didn't you show me all that cool stuff before?"

"..."

"Oh right, stupid question," blushed the amber unicorn.

**Jenny****: With all these powers under her hooves, Celestia has been kicking ass and taking names for centuries. She was able to defeat Nightmare Moon solo, defeated Queen Chrysalis and her entire changeling army by herself and helped take down threats like Discord and Lord Tirek. All that while managing the tight schedule of running a country!**

"It wasn't easy, but well worth the effort," laughed Celestia, earning smiles from everypony around her.

* * *

**POWERS and ABILITIES**

**ALICORN PHYSIOLOGY**

**\- Being an alicorn, Celestia can fly and use magic**

**\- Possesses enhanced strength, speed and stamina **(Applejack and Rainbow approve)

**GENIUS INTELLIGENCE**

**\- Celestia is highly intelligent, able to retain a great deal of information and use it to her advantage**

**\- Highly knowledgeable in the arts of magic**

**MAGIC**

**\- Celestia can perform great feats of magic (**Twilight's quill was catching fire at this point)

**\- This includes:**

**\- TELEKINESIS - Moving objects with magic**

**\- TRANSMOGRIFICATION - Celestia can alter the appearance of objects and living beings**

**\- REPLICITATION - Celestia can create clones of herself**

**\- SPELLS - Celestia knows a high number of different spells with varying effects**

**\- MAGIC BEAM EMISSION - Celestia can shoot concussive blasts from her horn**

**\- DARK MAGIC - Allowing her to perform the same feats as an umbram-unicorn**

**\- FORCE FIELD - Celestia can create a force field to protect herself and others**

**\- TELEPORTATION - Celestia can teleport herself and others anywhere she wishes**

**\- DREAM SCRYING - Celestia can move through the Realm of Dreams**

**FLIGHT**

**\- Like all alicorns, Celestia can use her wings to fly the same as a pegasus **(Rainbow approves)

**IMMORTALITY**

**\- Even after 1.000 years, Celestia has never shown to age**

**PROPHETIC ABILITIES**

**\- Can see future events in her sleep **("What?!" most of the group yelled)

**\- Very limited**

**MAGIC FORM **(Luna grumbles)

**\- Engulfs herself in a fiery display of magic**

**\- Makes her intangible**

**OTHERS**

**\- Can reach the top shelf without help or telekinesis **(everpony laughed at that)

**\- Can eat cakes with 16 layers and more on her own **(still laughing)

**\- Moves the sun. And occasionally the moon. But mainly the sun!**

* * *

******Rosewood**: **During those centuries she not only gained wisdom, knowledge and patience beyond anything ever seen before, she also made it her passion to spread the magic of harmony across Equestria, creating a near-utopia. She maintained peace for over one millennium, improved relationships between the different races and became a goddess in all but name.**

Celestia grimaced. "I'm not too fond of ponies worshipping me. It makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Right, there were once churches dedicated to us," remembered Luna. "What happened to them?"

"I had to disband them. They started to act like zealots," said Celestia with a grim expression. "Performing acts of violence and racism against non-ponies, all in my name."

**Jenny****: And between all of that, she still found the time to establish a school for super-smart unicorns and take on some personal students: Sunset Shimmer, Cadance and the most famous of all, Twilight Sparkle.**

This got smiles from the said three ponies.

******Rosewood**: **Which will become the absolution for her younger sister Luna. You see, 1.000 years ago Luna was overwhelmed by her own rage and sorrow, transforming her to the dreaded Nightmare Moon. Unable to stop her, Celestia used ancient artefacts called the Elements of Harmony, which banished Luna to the moon.**

**Jenny****: What's pretty harsh for something that's basically a five-minute temper tantrum.**

"WHAT did she just say?!" fumed Luna, angry that her suffering was reduced to a mere 'temper tantrum'.

******Rosewood**: **In order to use the elements, she had to represent all six aspects of Harmony: Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, Honesty, Laughter and Magic. Making her the only being in history capable of using them all on her own.**

"I never really thought about it, but it is truly amazing," said Cadance.

**Jenny****: Yeah, even I wouldn't be able to do that.**

******Rosewood**: **They would most likely turn you to stone the moment you touch them. Even after giving up on the elements, she continued to guide Twilight and her friends with her wisdom and experience.**

* * *

**FEATS**

**\- Ruled a kingdom for over a 1.000 years** (everypony approves)

**\- One of the few alicorns in history**

**\- Wielded the Elements of Harmony alone** (everypony was amazed)

**\- Mentor of Sunset Shimmer, Princess Cadance and Princess Twilight Sparkle** (that got a smile from the three)

**\- Can scare adult dragons away** (*PUMF* - "Ouch! Damn it Dash!")

**\- Powerful enough to control both the sun and the moon**

**\- Defeated Discord, King Sombra, Lord Tirek, Queen Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon**

**\- Dealt with whinny nobles for centuries** (everypony laughed)

* * *

**Jenny****: She's one super reliable pony!**

******Rosewood**: **It's a pity she usually ends up as the butt of the joke. Over the course of the last few years, she had rarely ever been able to defeat the major threats to Equestria, having to rely on her student's circle of friends. In a few cases, certain gimmicks like anti-magic fields have proven to be effective against her.**

"Ouch, that's harsh," stated Sunset, giving her former mentor a pat. "True, but harsh."

**Jenny****: Heck, even when she was fighting Queen Chrysalis during the Canterlot Invasion, she lost the beam struggle. Or that one time when she and her sister were abducted by weed. Evil weed, but still, weed!**

"Urgh, don't remind me," grumbled Luna, giving Discord an evil glare.

******Rosewood**: **Celestia has less experience in fighting as one would think, using it only as a last resort. She also prefers to banish or imprison her foes instead of, well, 'removing' them permanently.**

"Did he just suggest to... kill them?" asked Celestia, shocked. That is the only thing she would never allow herself to resort to, no matter how high the stakes.

**Jenny****: Which gives them ample opportunity to return for some good ol' revenge. Usually after 1.000 years. Seriously, what's the deal with that number? Must have been one busy year...**

"While I am also not too keen with the idea of... killing somepony," started Luna. "We should at least come up with a more reliable way to deal with treats to Equestria. Dealing with them over and over again IS quite tiresome."

"The girls did a good job saving the world so far," agreed Shining. "But our foes only have to win one time to ruin everything we worked so hard to achieve."

"And we had some pretty close calls in the last few years," added Cadence.

Discord, Sunset and Starlight meanwhile made themselves as small as possible, starring at the ground in shame.

* * *

**WEAKNESSES**

**\- Not as experienced in fighting as one would think**

**\- Usually holds back her full potential**

**\- Too forgiving**

**\- Over-relying on others**

**\- Cakes** (Discord laughed, recovering from his previous mood, while Sunset and Luna sighed)

* * *

******Rosewood**: **To be fair, a lot of Celestia's weaknesses seem to be more of a case of her holding back as it is of being weak. Sure, she was beaten by Chrysalis, but only because they were fighting in a location full of civilians and while the queen was supercharged on love magic. Furthermore, we know that Celestia seems to fear her full potential, afraid that she could become the counterpart to Nightmare Moon, Daybreaker.**

Celestia, Luna and Starlight winced, while the other gave them curious glances.

******Rosewood**: **It's also implied, that some of her more, let's says 'questionable' decisions, like freeing Discord or giving all her magic away, were made on purpose. Because of her prophetic powers, she KNEW that Twilight would be able to find the Elements of Harmony and purify Luna. She KNEW she could overcome Discord, become an alicorn and prevail against Tirek.**

**Jenny****: I'm not sure if continuously wagering the future of Equestria just so that Purple Smart can prove herself can be called a strategy. I mean those prophetic abilities of hers aren't exactly reliable, or she would have known of the changeling attack. Wait, she didn't know, did she?**

******Rosewood**: **I don't think so… why?**

**Jenny****: Do you think she threw the fight with Chrysalis on purpose?! Hell, remind me to never play chess with her!**

Twilight paused, before looking at her role model with wide eyes. "Was everything what happened so far... really just a... test?"

Now everpony was starring at Celestia, waiting for an answer. Celestia tilted her head in thought, before giving Twilight a comforting smile.

"My little ponies believe that a miracle is something unexpected, almost impossible. But over the centuries, I have found that in times of great need, the power of true friendship can make a miracle inevitable. Given time and opportunity, harmony can take care of itself. All I really needed to do was to ensure it's not deliberately obstructed before it blossoms. I simply had faith in you, my dear Twilight." Celestia looked around at the smiling faces. "I had faith in all of you."

******Rosewood**: **Do you even know how to play? Anyway, mastermind or not, Celestia is a solar powerhouse. The fact that she remains in power after centuries, her name almost held in reverence, is proof that her faults are outweighed by her feats.**

* * *

**_Celestia sings:_**

**"_You've come such a long, long way_**

**_And I've watched you from that very first day_**

**_To see how you might grow_**

**_To see what you might do_**

**_To see what you've been through_**

**_And all the ways you've made me proud of you_**

**_It's time now for a new change to come_**

**_You've grown up and your new life has begun_**

**_To go where you will go_**

**_To see what you will see_**

**_To find what you will be_**

**_For it's time for you to fulfil your destiny."_**

* * *

"I always know that the princess was awesome, but WOW," said Rainbow, voicing the thought of the others. "But now? You're like 20%... no, 40% cooler!"

"Thank you, my little pony," Celestia smiled motherly, chuckling at the prismatic pony's antics.

**The screen changed to show an old, bald man, with a thick white fu-manchu mustache and beard. He was wearing a pair of sunglasses and beach clothes with a turtle shell on his back. In his right hand he was holding a walking stick.**

"Here comes her opponent," Sunset hummed.

"What is this old geezer gonna do?" asked Trixie, rolling her eyes. "Call the elderly care?"

"My eyes! How can he wear such dreadful clothes," Rarity shrieked, falling back dramatically into her quickly summoned fainting couch™.

"Don't let his appearance fool you," Luna advised the younger members of the group. "If he was chosen to fight our sister, he must be quite formidable."

* * *

******Rosewood**: **Son Goku might be one of the greatest martial artists in existence, rivalling even gods. But he would never have reached that level without the guidance of Master Muten-Roshi.**

* * *

**MASTER MUTEN-ROSHI**

**BACKGROUND**

**\- Race: Human**

**\- Height: 5'5'' / 165 cm**

**\- Weight: 97 Ibs / 44 kg**

**\- Age: Over 350 years**

**\- Aliases: Turtle Hermit, Jackie Chun**

**\- Hobbies: Eating pizza, video games and aerobic exercise videos**

* * *

Rainbow perked up. "Turtle?"

******Rosewood**: **Master Roshi is not only one of the strongest humans in his world's history; he's also the strongest fighter of his generation, once referred to as the God of Martial Arts. He is a wise and kind-hearted person who loves those around him like his own grandchildren. And while he openly enjoys life and its simple pleasures, he is willing to die for an honourable cause if necessary.**

"Wow, he sounds like an awesome guy," said Spike, already liking him.

"He's a martial artist and one of the strongest too?" Rainbow smiled. "Awesome!"

**Jenny****: Enough with the sugar coating! The old fart is supposedly one of the greatest martial artists of all time, but he has one striking weakness. Well, two actually.**

* * *

_**\- The view changed to show the old man chasing girls and being a pervert in general. -**_

* * *

"Well, no one is without... short-comings, I guess?" Starlight tried to save his reputation.

"Somepony should teach this ruffian a lesson," Rarity grumbled, clearly not pleased with old Roshi.

* * *

**_\- A woman with blue hair slaps Roshi. -_**

* * *

"Thank you darling," Rarity laughed, joining the others.

******Rosewood**: **His skirt-chasing antics aside, Roshi is a master when it comes to the usage of Ki. Ki is a vital energy force all living beings possess. The stronger and more focused you are, the greater your Ki becomes.**

"Ki? Sunset, do you know what that is?" asked Twilight her now otherworldly friend.

"I have heard about it, but in my world it's more like a spiritual concept then a real force," answered Sunset. "That means he's probably from a completely different world."

**Jenny****: When he still had hair, young Roshi studied under the legendary Master Tomato…**

******Rosewood**: **Mutaito.**

Everypony laughed at that.

**Jenny****: … And a kitty cat! These masters of butt-kicking taught Roshi how to weaponize his Ki to perform awesome techniques.**

"He was teached by a cat?" smiled Fluttershy. "How nice."

"I wanna hear about these awesome techniques," stated Rainbow, getting hyped.

******Rosewood**: **It wasn't too long until Roshi created his own martial arts style, the Turtle School, which he perfected during the next 300 years.**

"300 YEARS?!" yelled Sunset.

**Jenny****: Holy crap, how old is this geezer?**

******Rosewood**: **Well, it's a little vague, but thanks to either his old pet phoenix, which died due to food poisoning, or the mysterious Paradise Herb, he's just shy of 360 years old.**

"Wow, he's nearly four times older then any human at home," stated Sunset, calming down.

"Forget that, how do you kill ah phoenix with bad food?!" wondered a confused Applejack.

"That poor bird," mumbled Fluttershy, getting a comforting pat from an equally distressed Celestia.

**Jenny****: Damn! I'm just impressed he can still get it up for the girls after all that time!**

The mare's faces in the room collectively lightened up, while the three males coughed awkwardly in their hooves /claws.

****Rosewood**: ****Th****at's... well, I mean, yes, (whispering) I guess medically speaking, it is quite impressive…**

**Jenny****: Anyway, his Turtle School, or Kame School, is not about hiding in a shell and waiting till the danger is over as I first thought. It includes everything from tricky pressure point combat to a phony Drunken Style, which, if you ask me, is just a missed opportunity to get wasted.**

"Sounds like a very versatile way of fighting to have," commented Shining, making mental notes for later.

"And it's called Turtle School!" gushed Rainbow. "I wonder if Tank and I could learn it."

"I wanna learn the Alligator School with Gummy!" exclaimed Pinkie, just as excited as Dash.

******Rosewood**: **As a grandmaster of all martial arts and hand-to-hand combat styles, Master Roshi is an outstandingly versatile fighter and tactician, able to quickly see through an opponent's skills and effortlessly change his own methods to suit the situation. At the same time, he is deceptively strong for his frail form, able to move at blazing speeds and move massive structures with his bare hands, all while at base power.**

"Incredible, he really lives up to his title as the 'God of Martial Arts'," approved Luna, giving her sister a smile. "Looks like you're in for quite the fight."

"Seems like it," said Celestia absentmindedly, following the feats Roshi performed on screen with interest.

**Jenny****: Roshi can use his Ki to increase his power even further to push past his physical limits, use it to fire explosive shots, go buff mode, stun foes with Thunder Shock Surprise, and even seal dangerous enemies away with the Evil Containment Wave.**

"OH MAMA!" yelled a blushing Starlight at Roshi's MAX form, getting a 'What the actual buck'-look from Trixie, while the others said nothing, opting to slowly back away from her.

* * *

**POWERS and ABILITIES**

**MAX POWER FORM **(Starlight highly approves)

**\- Roshi unleashes his full power**

**\- Makes all his Ki attacks substantially stronger**

**\- Boosts his overall strength**

**TELEPATHY**

**\- Capable of reading the minds of others**

**HYPNOSIS**

**\- Can put people to sleep by making weird noises and performing waving hand motions** (everpony smirked at that)

**THUNDER SHOCK SURPRISE** (Rainbow takes great interest in that one)

**\- Doesn't use it often due to its lethal nature**

**\- Produces 20.000 Volts of electricity and blasts the opponent with it**

**\- Not only does massive damage to them, but also immobilizes them (usually in the air)**

**\- Also immobilizes Roshi until the attack ends**

**EVIL CONTAINMENT WAVE**

**\- Using immense focus, it traps the target and their soul within a bottle**

**\- Even a rice cooker works**

**\- Requires immense precision and discipline**

**\- Drains the life force no matter if it's successful or not**

**\- Has trained himself so much that he can use it multiple times before it starts having a drastic effect on him**

**DRUNKEN FIST**

**\- Can use it without actually being drunk**

**\- Makes him extremely unpredictable**

* * *

"This Evil Containment Wave seems like an incredible useful skill to have, it would have made our lives so much easier," stated Luna.

"We should look for something similar," Celestia agreed.

******Rosewood**: **Even with his advanced age reducing his natural stamina and endurance, while also reducing his overall performance, he makes up for it with his efficiency, both physically and mentally. His experience and intuition have also honed his natural instincts to the point that he became so aware of his surroundings, that he is able to move against any threat automatically.**

**Jenny****: He can run 100 meters in 5.6 seconds, while suppressed and out of shape.**

******Rosewood**: **But once he gets serious, he's so fast that it resembles teleportation for the untrained eye, he can create afterimages of himself and effortlessly dodge lightning.**

"Whoa nelly," Applejack whistled. "Looks yah got you some competition Dash."

"Oh yeah?! Well watch me, I'll learn how to do it too, and then we'll see who's the fastest!"

**Jenny****: The old man can send people flying just by waving his hand and once punched Goku out of a stadium and into the city farther than the audience could see.**

"Looks like he might be very useful during the Applebuck Season," said Spike, looking at the apple farmer. "Maybe you could ask him for help next time."

Applejack nodded absentmindedly.

******Rosewood**: **He's able to easily read his opponent's movements and battle tactics, allowing him to move with minimal needed effort.**

"The skills of an experienced fighter," nodded Shining, wishing he was that good.

**Jenny****: He once snatched bullets out of the air that are fired at him from point blank range. Average machine guns can fire up to six hundred rounds per minute, at a muzzle velocity of nearly 1.200 feet per second.**

******Rosewood**: **That means Roshi would have to react to the first bullet within five milliseconds. Additionally, each consecutive bullet would reach him just shy of seventeen milliseconds apart. The maximum distance between any given shot looks to be about three feet, which means he would have to be moving at 180 feet per second in order to catch them all.**

"Hey, maybe he can fly when he moves his arms fast enough!" giggled Pinkie, while the others had looks of awe in their faces.

**Jenny****: Ha! I guess that helps during lonely nights!**

Once again all mares blushed, while the males shifted around uncomfortably.

******Rosewood**: **Ugh! Anyway, spending all those years honing his talents, Roshi dedicated fifty of them to develop one revolutionary technique.**

"Fifty years?" wondered Trixie. "What could he possibly came up with that took him half a century to pull of?"

**Jenny****: Say it with me! KA-ME-…**

******Rosewood**: **… -HA-ME- …**

"What are they doing?" asked a bewildered Cadance.

**Jenny****/********Rosewood**: ** … HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**

* * *

**_\- Roshi annihilates a giant ship with a Kamehameha. -_**

* * *

One could probably hear the sound of the collective gasps and chins hitting the ground all to Yakyakistan.

"Sweet baby goat riding a motor boat to Mars!" yelled Discord. "WHAT the HAY was THAT?!"

******Rosewood**: **The Kamehameha, or Turtle Wave, is the signature technique of the Kame School. By focusing his Ki between his palms, he creates an enormous beam of pure energy, which annihilates everything it hits.**

"No kidding," said a breathless Rainbow Dash, her wings once again at full attention, but this time it went ignored by everypony.

* * *

**KAMEHAMEHA and MAX POWER KAMEHAMEHA**

**\- A basic but very powerful blast of Ki**

**\- When combined with Roshi's MAX form the Kamehameha can:**

**\- Put out the flames on Fire Mountain and destroy both it and the Ox-King's castle**

**\- Destroy the moon completely**

**\- Take out waves of Frieza's Soldiers**

* * *

**Jenny****: (Excited) Hell yeah! He blew up a whole frigging mountain with it!**

******Rosewood**: **This peak resembled the Flaming Mountains which are located in China, standing up to 2.600 feet tall. With this in mind, we can find that to pulverize such a mountain, Roshi's Kamehameha must equal nearly four gigatons of TNT.**

"That makes anything Tirek and I fired during our battle look like fireworks for foals," stated Twilight, her quill and scroll lying forgotten on the ground.

**Jenny****: But that's small stuff compared to the time he obliterated the entire moon in about five seconds! That's gotta be worth like..., Rose, how many mountains make a moon?**

"He did WHAT?!" yelled Luna, getting out of her stupor, rattling the others.

"... I think I just peed a little," squeaked Spike.

******Rosewood**: **Well, around thirty-five billion, so in order to obliterate the moon in its entirety, the Kamehameha must have struck it with a force akin to three octillion tons of TNT.**

"Impossible...," muttered Twilight, slowly turning into a twitching mess.

**Jenny****: That are… twenty-seven zeros! Holy shit!**

"That is... that is... awesome and terrifying at the same time!" commented an intimidated Sunset. "Like... like starring up at the face of God as he has Cthulhu in a chokehold!"

Luna meanwhile joined Twilight on the ground.

"Ok, is that normal?" asked a concerned Starlight.

"No, but it's quite fascinating," answered Celestia as she poked her twitching sister with a stick.

******Rosewood**: **But even with all his powers, Roshi's true talent lays in ensuring that his students grow further and further than himself every day.**

"Just like auntie," smiled Cadance, helping her fellow alicorns back to their hooves as the others slowly recovered as well.

**Jenny****: By forcing his students to deliver milk up a mountain, ploughing fields with their bare hands, working construction with simple tools or let them be chased by both sharks and bees, all while wearing a fifty-pound shell. Boy, he gives the term 'tough love' a completely new meaning!**

* * *

**_Master Roshi: "But you are still within human limits! In order to become a master of martial arts, you must break the wall of humanity! That is the challenge!"_**

* * *

"Maybe we should implement that in our guard training," said Celestia, earning a terrified whimper from Shining.

******Rosewood**: **Still, Master Roshi cares deeply for his students, to the point where he entered the World Martial Arts Tournament in the disguise of 'Jackie Chun' to ensure they would lose the tournament, as he felt they might lose interest in the martial arts if they won it too easily.**

"He really cares for his students, doesn't he?" smiled Applejack. "He treats them just like family." That got nods of approval from the others as well.

**Jenny****: And he won! Too bad he had to spend all the prize money to pay for all the food Goku devoured. (Laughing)**

Everypony joined in, finally relaxing again.

******Rosewood**: **Despite his apparent retirement from active fighting and acknowledging that his days as the strongest are long over, he still continues to train. He defeated at least 170 of Frieza's soldiers with only minor difficulty, and during the Tournament of Power he showed his resourcefulness by facing off against three opponents consecutively. Against Caway, he easily repelled her energy weapons and ultimately terrified her into forfeiting…**

**Jenny****: Albeit it was mostly from his perverted advances…**

Rarity grumbled at that.

******Rosewood**: **… And his knowledge in magical matters allowed him to easily defeat Dercori with the Evil Containment Wave, to which he was not affected by its consequences, showing his increase in power. And against Ganos, his tactical prowess enabled him to effortlessly dodge and deflect all the younger enemy's initial attacks.**

"Experience beats everything," nodded Luna.

**Jenny****: Even though Ganos was faster and stronger than him - with Ganos even noting that if he could just land one blow Roshi would be defeated - until he powered up enough to overwhelm Roshi and bash him around.**

******Rosewood**: **Despite this, he showed noticeable resilience, repeatedly getting back up. Once using his MAX Power and then proceeding to go beyond his limits, he was able to defeat Ganos and blast him out the ring with a MAX Power Kamehameha. Roshi's performance even earned him repeated praise from Beerus, the God of Destruction.**

"God of Destruction?" everypony asked with wide eyes.

**Jenny****: Who can destroy entire galaxies on a whim! Kaboom!**

Silence.

"... I think I peed... again. Can somepony get me a towel?"

Without looking Discord snapped his fingers, a small set of towels appearing out of nowhere.

Spike wasn't the only one who needed a fresh towel.

* * *

**FEATS**

**\- Destroyed an entire mountain** (everypony was impressed)

**\- Invented the legendary Kamehameha** (everypony approves)

**\- Caught a full clip of machine gun bullets** (still impressed)

**\- Obliterated the moon** (Luna started to twitch again)

**\- Defeated 170 soldiers of Frieza's army**

**\- Won the 21st World Martial Arts Tournament**

**\- Defeated Krillin, Goku, Tien, Caway, Dercori and Ganos**

**\- Earned the respect of the God of Destruction** (everypony was still shaken by that)

**\- Can still get it up for the girls!** (blushes, blushes everywhere)

* * *

******Rosewood**: **Sadly, Roshi's frailty of age means his body can't always express just how powerful he really is.**

**Jenny****: In terms of raw power and speed, most of his opponents outclass him by far, forcing him to fight with extra care.**

"They're right, he's pretty old after all," noted Sunset, worried about the old martial artist.

"Not as old as the sisters! Heyhoo!" laughed Discord, before getting hit by a bowl of popcorn.

******Rosewood**: **His skills are the result of years of training and experience, rather than pure talent.**

**Jenny****: Also, using too much Ki energy can cause all sorts of problems, like when his master Mustachio died using the Evil Containment Wave. He is also too prideful to learn how to fly via levitation, since this skill was invented by his rivals from the Crane School.**

"Wait, they can fly without wings or magic?" asked Trixie. "Is there anything they can't do with 'KI'?!"

* * *

**WEAKNESSES**

**\- His age greatly reduces his performance**

**\- Not as natural gifted as his students**

**\- Can't fly (**Rainbow doesn't approve)

**\- Overusage of Ki can kill him (**that got everypony worried)

**\- Pretty girls** (Rarity facehoofed)

* * *

******Rosewood**: **Even though he may be well past his prime, this perverted but genius veteran still inspires others and demands respect from his pupils. There is a reason why everyone still calls him 'Master' Roshi.**

* * *

**_Master Roshi: "Goku... Krillin... You two were the ones who taught me that this old man still has a future and it's too early to decide my limits. You're the ones that taught me that by continuing to aim for higher heights. My students! Move well! Learn well! Play well, eat well and rest well! Enjoy your live merrily and to the fullest! The Kame Style is with you! This is the greatest, most powerful Kamehameha!"_**

* * *

"He's indeed a mighty foe, worthy of challenging our sister," Luna stated.

"I can't believe that somepony could get this strong without magic," Starlight said in amazement, a slight blush on her face.

Trixie rolled her eyes at her friend. "Maybe showing this to Sunburst will inspire him to work-out a little bit," she mocked.

The show mare giggled as Starlight sputtered in embarrassment.

******Rosewood**: **The combatants are set! Who will prevail? The beloved Sun Princess of Equestria? Or the perverted Turtle Hermit?**

**Jenny****: Let's… get… ready… to… RUMBLE!**

"Twenty bits on the old man!" called Rainbow.

"What!" yelled Twilight. "Oh, you're on!"

* * *

**The view changed to the throne room of Canterlot Castle, with Celestia sitting on her throne, reading Twilight's latest friendship report.**

**Suddenly, a black-haired man with an orange outfit appeared out of nowhere, one hand on his temple, while the other was resting on the shoulders of a very familiar old man.**

"Hey it's that Goku guy and Roshi! But what do they want in Canterlot?" wondered Spike.

**"... I don't think that is such a good idea… and we're somewhere already," started Muten-Roshi, before giving Goku a deadpanned stare.**

**"What? Who are you? What are you doing here?!" demanded Celestia, dropping the scroll to the ground.**

**"Hi! I'm Goku," smiled the younger one of the two, giving her a friendly wave. "I heard there are a lot of strong fighters around here, so I came for a sparring match! Want to fight?"**

"So he wants to fight and dragged his master with him," laughed Applejack. "Poor old guy."

**"I'm Princess Celestia, Co-Ruler of Equestria, and no I don't wish to fight you," said a bewildered Celestia, obviously trying to make sense out of this situation.**

**"Oh well, if you don't want to, I'll find someone else," Goku relented, walking off.**

**"You want to fight my little ponies?! I won't let you disrupt their peaceful lives just so you can fulfil your hunger for battle," raged the alicorn, grapping the man with her magic. "Be gone!"**

**With one mighty push of magic she sent Goku flying through the castle walls, his wailing form disappearing in the distance. Roshi meanwhile stood there, starring at the angry alicorn in disbelief.**

"Oh my, Celestia is having a mama bear moment." giggled Discord, giving the sun princess a cheeky smile. "I'm somewhat intimidated."

**Sighing, he put off his sunglasses, cracking his limbs at the same time.**

**"Was that really necessary?" he asked, putting his glasses away.**

**"I know ruffians like him well enough," Celestia stated. "Brute force is the only language they understand." She looked at the old martial artist.**

**"Do you wish to challenge me too?"**

**"Don't really want to, but after you throw my student through the air like that, I think I have to teach you a lesson."**

**"So be it. If that is what you want then," Celestia said, taking into the air. "I won't hesitate to give you what you desire!"**

"Here they go!" smiled an excited Rainbow Dash.

* * *

**\- FIGHT! -**

**Her horn igniting, pieces of the destroyed castle walls came flying towards the old martial artist.**

"Wow, Sunbutt. Overkill much?" Discord chuckled, smirking at the blushing princess.

**Roshi closed his eyes, and struck a stance with his left leg out, his right slightly bent. His right hand out, palm forward with only his thumb resting on it while his left arm stayed retracted to his side.**

**The rocks came in on all sides, ready to smash into Roshi with enough force to reduce him to a smear on the castle grounds.**

"Oh, I can't look," Fluttershy whimpered.

**In a flash, Roshi's eyes opened.**

**One chop to the first rock in reach, it shattered into dust. A fierce turn and a punch on another one and it too became nothing but a pile of dust.**

"What the hay?!" Rainbow stuttered.

"Huh, would you look at that," Sunset mused. "Looks like he got it handled after all."

"Thank goodness," was Fluttershy's only remark.

**Whirling around, one boulder after another was reduced to nothingness, till only two remained. Before they could even come in contact with Roshi, they were suddenly stopped dead in their tracks.**

**Celestia could only watch with a hanging mouth.**

As did the spectators.

**Roshi had just caught the two rocks, which were at least twice his size in height, and weighed possibly four times his own weight, in both his hands.**

"Ah know he's strong, but that fella is easily putting the entire Apple clan to shame!" said Applejack, giving an approving whistle.

"I agree fair Applejack, this is indeed quite remarkable," Luna agreed. "Sister, we should implement those 'martial arts' into our Royal Guard training."

"Please don't," begged a (somehow) paling Shining Armour. "We'll die!"

**Holding them up for a few more seconds, he finally allowed gravity to run its course, letting them crash to the ground once more.**

**Roshi's expression remained impassive as he clapped his hand, shaking of the remaining dust, while Celestia continued to stare in utter bafflement.**

"Close your mouth sister, it's unbecoming for royalty," joked Luna.

**"Hm. I was expecting somewhat more from the one who sent Goku flying that easily. I assure you, you don't have to hold back against this old man."**

"Ohh! Shots fired!" Pinkie quipped.

"Now it's ON!" Starlight and Spike cheered.

**A snort. An angered snort came from Celestia.**

**"Now then, let's get serious. Shall we?" Her eyes started to glow white, the very air was shaking as Celestia gathered more and more magic around her. Suddenly, dozens of enormous rocks were levitating from the castle grounds, circling around the lone human, trapping him in a sphere of deadly projectiles.**

**Roshi scoffed. "Repeating the same tricks already? Is this all you can do?"**

"Creativity was never a strong suit of our sister," Luna smirked.

"Oh, hush you," Celestia huffed, giving Luna a light shove.

**The rocks Celestia'd been carrying in her magic suddenly split into hundreds of thousands of smaller missiles.**

Discord nearly choked on the popcorn he was drinking. "Ok, I take it back. The first one was a love tap. THIS is overkill!"

**Roshi's eyes narrowed as he stared at the projectiles which still surrounded him.**

**"Huh, so not entirely the same trick," he hummed. "This turns out to be more difficult than I expected."**

"Yet he's not worried at all," Twilight noticed, already sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Well, he's a very experienced fighter," Shining answered. "It'll take a lot more to startle somepony of his calibre."

"So COOL," whispered Starlight.

**"Not so sure of yourself anymore, are you?" Celestia remarked. "Have at thee!" With that the rocks were launched in Roshi's direction, clouds of smoke rising into the air as some hit the ground while others made contact with their target.**

"Ouch, that looks painful," said Trixie, wincing.

**Finally, when Celestia had finished her assault, she stopped and squinted into the smoky atmosphere that was below her.**

**When the smoke cleared everypony expected to see an injured and beaten Master Roshi. What they saw instead was a pyramid made from the two boulders that where launched at him earlier. It had a majority of the projectiles Celestia had thrown at Roshi imbedded in it, some going in deep, and others not at all, and a couple lying scattered on the ground.**

"Excellent strategy," Shining hummed in approval. "Instead of trying to dodge or destroy the rocks, he simply used the boulders to create an impromptu shield to block them."

"That's really quick thinking on his part," Cadance agreed.

**"Touchy, aren't we?" Roshi's voice came from within the large pyramid. The structure collapsed, raising more dust into the air, a second later Roshi came out, with only one or two scratches on his arms.**

**"How did you - that should have ended this fight!" Celestia yelled.**

"Nope, that would have been too easy!", sang Pinkie, jumping excitedly from one couch to another, till she landed next to the snacks. "Mhhmm! Cupcakes!"

**"But it didn't," Roshi stated. "Now princess, if you're going to fight me, you better take this more seriously." With a grin, he gripped both boulders tightly to the point of where his veins could be seen on either hand, before lifting them up, turning around and then hurling them in Celestia's direction.**

"And now it's his turn," stated Sunset, intensely starring at the screen.

**Celestia's horn glowed, and in an instant both rocks stopped. "That won't work…," the alicorn started, when her eyes suddenly widened.**

**Using the boulders as a distraction, Roshi closed the distance between them with one mighty jump, preparing to land a hit on the startled princess.**

**With a yelp, Celestia dropped the boulders and teleported out of the way, just in time to evade the punch.**

"Ahahahaha!" Discord laughed, rolling on the floor. "Did you hear that?! What a cute little voice you have, my dear Celestia!"

Said alicorn blushed heavily, as others joined the draconequus.

"You should do this more often, maybe then you would finally find a suitor for yourself!" chuckled Luna, giving her sister a wide grin. "I'm sure they'll love this side of yours!"

**Re-appearing a few feet above the ground, she glared at the martial artist. Roshi meanwhile landed in a crouched position, before standing back up and looking at the princess, chuckling all the while.**

**"What's the matter? Afraid of getting close and personal?" he taunted, crossing his arms behind his back.**

"Attacking him head on is a bad idea, he has the advantage in close combat," stated Rarity, giving a sideway-glance to Celestia. "No offense, your highness."

"Non taken, my little pony," reassured the alicorn of the sun. "Attacking him carelessly is indeed not a tactic one should..."

**Celestia's eyes glowed with power, as she charged at Roshi, intending to simply run him over.**

"... Yet I'm doing it anyway," Celestia deadpanned.

**Taking a battle stance once again, Roshi prepared himself for the assault of the alicorn. As the princess came closer and closer to the old man, he slightly shifted his body, putting himself parallel to the alicorn.**

"What's he doing? At this rate the princess will skewer him!" screamed Rainbow, gesturing wildly with her hooves.

"Calm down Dash, that old fella surely has a trick or two up his non-existing hat," reassured Applejack the frantic pegasus.

**Indeed, he has. Mere milliseconds before ending with a new breath hole, he lifted his right arm, and catched the tip of Celestia's horn with the tips of his thumb and index.**

Silence.

"Holly shit," stated Spike, as a ruby he was currently chewing on fell out of his open mouth.

"SPIKE!" chastised Twilight, looking at the young dragon in disapproval.

"What? An 'I didn't see that one coming' or 'well, that was unexpected' doesn't really express what I'm feeling right now."

"... Fair enough, but don't say that word ever again, mister," Twilight grumbled.

**Celestia blinked. Then blinked again. She struggled to get out of Roshi's grip, but to no avail.**

**"Er… I didn't mean it?" Celestia chuckled awkwardly.**

**Roshi simply grunted in response.**

**"My turn."**

**With a burst of power, he changed to his MAX Form, startling the trapped alicorn (and making Starlight very happy), before lifting her in the air, her horn still between his fingers.**

"Now you're royally screwed," stated Discord, patting a grimacing Celestia.

**Using the alicorn as a new weapon of mass destruction, Roshi started to beat her into the ground.**

**Literally.**

**There were now Celestia-shaped holes in the floor and castle walls.**

The group winced.

"Oh my," whimpered the nearly forgotten Fluttershy, hiding under the couch.

**Celestia's eyes burned white with magical essence as the remaining rocks went flying in Roshi's direction. The human rammed the princess one final time into the wall, before running on said one in the opposite direction of the projectiles.**

"He can run on walls?!" Trixie asked in disbelief.

**Celestia's onslaught followed him all the way. It wasn't until Roshi reached one of the sister's thrones, where he placed a foot on it and launch himself straight forward in the direction of Celestia, …**

"Careful, that one's mine!" yelled Luna.

**… swatting away any rock in his way as he closed the distance between him and the alicorn.**

**Celestia stopped her attack, time slowing down as Roshi grew closer and drew back his arm as if he were going to pierce through reality itself. But before he could land a hit, Celestia once again teleported out of the way, reappearing behind him and launching a beam attack.**

"Boo! Cheap move princess!" Sunset complained. "Cheap move!"

"Sunset Shimmer! Do you WANT the princess getting punched?!" Twilight sneered, giving the amber unicorn the stink-eye.

**His calm expression slightly stiffened when he saw her behind him.**

**"Smart," he stated.**

**Quickly crossing his arms in an X-shape as he descended down towards the ground, Roshi tilted his body so they were in front of him. As soon as the attack was close enough to hit him, he quickly trusted both arms out to his side, dispelling the beam.**

"Did he just PUNCHED a spell out of the air?!" asked a flabbergasted Cadence.

"Like a boss," grinned Rainbow.

**Landing on the floor, Roshi looked forward just in time to see another yellow blast shoot at him. It hit him square in the chest, knocking the wind out of him and tearing a hole in his shirt.**

"His choice of clothes is hardly a fashion statement, but still. Please be more careful, princess," grimaced Rarity, getting stunned looks from the others.

"Uhm, I will try?"

"Come on! He was hit by that, and you're worried about his state of dress?!" asked Shining.

"Clearly, you don't know her well," deadpanned Applejack.

**Recovering and quickly making it to his feet Roshi jumped out of the way, evading a barrage of magical blasts.**

"Yet he shrugs it off like a champ," stated Discord, nibbling on a cucumber sandwich.

**As the ground around him exploded, he jumped away to safely without a scratch. What he hadn't expected was a swirl of magic surrounding him.**

"What's that?" asked Pinkie, tilting her head.

**While distracting him with her attacks, Celestia had changed into her intangible form. Now surrounding Roshi and encompassing him in her magical form, she began spinning in circles, slowly picking up the speed around him.**

"Oh look, dear sister has changed her form," stated Luna, rolling her eyes. "Cheap knock-off."

**Roshi's eyes narrowed as he waited for something to come out at him, but nothing did. It was then he realized what the alicorn was trying to do.**

"His air supplies! You're cutting it off!" said Sunset.

"Good move. Limiting his movement and putting pressure upon him without risking retaliation," mused Starlight, analyzing Celestia's new form.

"Perfect defensive and offense. Try getting out of this!" cheered Twilight, her eyes sparkling yet again.

**As if reading his mind Celestia picked up the pace, Roshi started to look slightly light-headed as it continued.**

**Drawing back an arm and giving one swift strike he hit the wall of fire and magic with his bare fist. Part of Celestia's magical form blew out into the open, before quickly reforming with rest and continuing the cycle.**

"Yeah, it's no use. If you can't teleport or create your own supply of air, its game over," said Discord, glancing at Celestia. "I'm speaking out of experience."

**Roshi coughed and fell on one knee. He was seemingly starting to lose consciousness, his body obviously needed oxygen or else he'd pass out.**

**Time was running.**

**Managing to get up on his feet Roshi stumbled, stopped on a foot.**

"What could he possibly do in a situation like this?" asked Rarity, slightly worried for the old human despite herself.

**He gave another strike, Celestia's spinning form blew away briefly, but not as large as it had before, quickly joining with the rest of her to continue cutting off his supply.**

**Things were looking grim. Roshi's eyes started to grow lidded. He began drawing in more, longer, deeper breaths.**

**"One last time" he mumbled.**

"Looks like he has a plan. Let's see if it does the trick," answered Trixie, munching on some fudge.

"Like Discord said earlier, the only way to survive this is either by teleporting out or getting a supply of fresh air," mused Sunset, scratching her chin. "Another method would be to…"

**Lifting his right hand up into the air, Roshi brought the side of his hand down on the ground with all the focused force he could muster.**

**It worked.**

**The force broke through Celestia's suction, throwing the part of her intangible figure that touched the ground into the air. Before the magical energy had a chance to reform with the rest of the sun alicorn, Roshi clapped both hands together with such a force that she was scattered everywhere.**

"... Do this," ended Sunset her sentence, somewhat lamely.

**Falling to one knee and drawing in a deep breath, Roshi coughed viciously before relaxing.**

**He looked around to see parts of the mare's magical energy form gather into one giant whirlwind of fire before completely reforming into a tired alicorn.**

"You're both reaching your limits. This fight won't go on for much longer," noted Cadance.

**Both took their time drawing breath.**

**Finally, Celestia spoke. "You have... that much... power, yet you didn't use it in the beginning?" she said between pants and an annoyed expression.**

"Oh, the princess's getting annoyed," giggled Discord. "That reminds me of the fun times we occasionally have. Like when I turned all your beloved cakes to low-sugar ones and you fell asleep during day court due to the lack of your daily sugar rush."

"She's still obsessed with cake?" asked Sunset Luna, while the two were watching how a blushing Celestia repeatedly punched the laughing draconequus with the cushion of the couch, while the others were hiding behind it.

"You've no idea," sighed Luna.

**Roshi chuckled. "I've been holding back this entire time. You haven't seen anything yet."**

**Looking both crossed and offended by this statement, Celestia switched back to her energy form and divided herself, not once, not twice.**

**But eleven times.**

"Wow, so many. Most unicorns struggle to create a single one, let alone maintain it for an extended period of time. To create so many...," noted an amazed Twilight.

"Well, it isn't easy, but with enough practice you can do it, too," smiled Celestia, standing over the beaten form of Discord.

**Roshi rose to his feet, his breath now caught as he faced TWELVE Celestia's. Then he laughed.**

"He's... laughing?" asked a confused Fluttershy.

**One of the copies of Celestia stared in confusion. "Why are you laughing?" she asked.**

**"In the face of your defeat!" another stated with emphasis as her hoof hit and cracked the ground beneath her.**

**Roshi's ran a hand over his face, straightening his beard in the process as he stared at all twelve alicorns. "Because, I don't need to hold back anymore if you aren't."**

"Now he's getting serious too," said Trixie.

"About time," grinned Rainbow Dash. "Let's see some real action!"

**Roshi took off in the alicorn group's direction. A myriad of charged magical shots were sent his way but he was able to nimbly dodge most of them, ignoring the burning pain he felt when those that connected with him hit... just as he was about to punch one of the clones with an open palm all of them suddenly disappeared.**

"Not again...," sighed Sunset.

"It's a legitimate tactic!" said Twilight, miffed with Sunset claiming that Celestia resorts to cheap moves.

"Sounds like the excuse one of those campers in a shooter would make."

"A what in a what?"

"Nevermind..."

**He looked around. The room was empty, save for the rubble of the fight.**

**Feeling his body freeze as if wrapped by an invisible force Roshi found himself being flung right into the thrones. He went through one, …**

"NO!" screamed Luna.

**… and an audible crack and painful sound of skin landing on metal sang throughout the room.**

"Oh no! That looked like it really hurts!" yelled Fluttershy (well, if you could even call it 'yelling').

"Don't worry, that happens to me all the time when I play with the Cake Twins," reassured Pinkie the worried Pegasus. "It looks like 20% more painful than it really is!"

"That's more than enough!" argued Applejack.

"My throne!" whimpered a distressed Luna.

**Landing on the ground and doing a few rolls, Roshi stopped and sat up. He looked up just in time to see two of the copies soaring towards him at full speed, fore hooves out and ready to crush his ribs into powder.**

**Quickly standing up, running right towards the two clones, Roshi slid on his knees along the ground right under both Celestia copies and struck them firmly in the sides.**

**Both went down instantly, paralyzed.**

"Two down, ten to go," counted Spike.

**Roshi got up and starred at them, shaking his head. "I don't know what makes you keep thinking that fighting a martial artist up close is a good idea."**

"Burn!" yelled Discord, Sunset, Pinkie and Rainbow.

**"How bout from a distance then?" the alicorn's voice called, wrapping him in her magic before slinging him into the ground with all the force she could muster.**

"She doesn't take constructive criticism well," smirked Luna, giving her sister a playful tap on her back.

"Hello pot, met kettle," deadpanned Celestia.

**Roshi went right into the ground. Practically embedded in there, new lines of cuts were covering his body in the process, allowing a little blood to seep out.**

"FIRST BLOOD," said Sunset, in a deep voice.

"Why are speaking like that, darling?" asked Rarity, giving the fellow unicorn a curios look.

"No reason," sang Sunset.

**Not giving him the chance to recover, two of the clones dove on either side of him, landing on his left and right and then trying to strike him down with one of their hooves.**

**Bad move.**

**Roshi instantly caught both, much to the two clone's surprise.**

"And she's a slow learner as well," laughed Luna, while Twilight gave her former mentor a reassuring smile.

**There was a struggle. Both alicorns fore hooves shook in the human's grasp as they added all their weight into the blow. Only managing to get his hand down a few inches, before Roshi's face grew stern and he pushed back with his own strength. Slowly pushing both mares away from him as he turned their shaking power-filled hooves towards each other.**

"Such power," purred Starlight, getting weird looks from the others.

**Lifting both hooves till they were practically near either copy's cheek, Roshi quickly released his grip on their hooves and watched the two alicorn copies punched each other into a K.O.**

"A classic," Sunset smirked. "And eight left."

**With that, using his hands for support Roshi jumped out of his own crater and watched as the clones all gathered back into a single ticked-off alicorn.**

**Roshi grinned.**

Discord grinned as well.

**Then Celestia gave a complacent smile.**

Discords grin fell. "Oh, that's not got."

"Why?" asked a bewildered Cadance.

"When Celly smiles like this, you'd better run."

**"What are you so happy about?" Roshi asked as the alicorn landed a couple feet away from him.**

**"It's over."**

**Hooves shot out of the ground directly beneath Roshi, surprising him greatly as two alicorn copies of Celestia emerged out of the ground and firmly wrapped their forelegs tightly around his legs. But the most disturbing fact was that their eyes were glowing in a sick green, full of eldritch power.**

Twilight gapped. "Dark magic! You're resorting to dark magic!"

"Drastic times call for drastic measurements," said Shining, looking serious. "Still, this does seem like a little much."

**Roshi looked genuinely surprised. Both alicorns were holding his legs firmly to the ground, grinning at him devilishly.**

"So scary," whimpered Fluttershy.

"Don't be afraid," Celestia put one of her wings over the little pegasus. "I will only use this power to protect my little ponies."

**"So, is that finally it?" Celestia asked with a cocky look on her face, dark tendrils leaking out of the corners of her eyes.**

**"Any last words?" the alicorn smirked as she created a multitude of copies, adding up to at least twenty of her.**

"Well, that's a wrap," said Applejack. "Congrats, princess."

**Roshi looked at the two alicorns restraining him. Then he looked at the alicorns now waiting for him to speak, so they could finish him off.**

**He sighed. "This was fun while it lasted."**

"Oh, come on! You can't give up that easily!" complained Rainbow Dash. "At least go out with a fight or a cool one-liner!"

**Celestia's copies all smirked ******collectively**, and with a shout they all charged in unison towards the human.**

**Roshi closed his eyes, raising both hands up slowly into a practiced position.**

"Wait a sec. This stance...," remembered Sunset.

**His eyes snapped open. The two alicorn's holding him down suddenly lost their smirks, their eyes widening as they sensed a new level of intensity radiating of every fibre of this human.**

Sunset smirked. "It's..."

Flexing his fists, and placing both arms at his right side, Roshi managed to bend his knees just a bit despite the weight of the alicorns holding him down.

**"Ka-Me…,"**

The group jerked up.

"How could we forget about this?!" yelled Twilight.

"The signature attack of his school," stated Luna, looking at the screen with wide eyes.

**As the group of alicorns charged him, a sphere of pure energy formed between his palms, growing in size and intensity with each passing second.**

"The move that annihilated a mountain," said Starlight, mouth open in awe.

"And the moon," whispered Trixie, leaning closer to the screen.

"Which he worked for over fifty years on," remembered Applejack, lifting her hat to have a better view.

**"… Ha-Me…,"**

"His final trump card," Shining and Cadance said simultaneously.

"Eep," made a distressed Fluttershy, hiding deeper under Celestia's wing.

"The...," started Rarity.

"Ka-Me-...," continued Rainbow, Spike and Sunset, imitating Roshi's stance.

"Ha-Me-...," Discord and Pinkie joined in, both wearing matching orange outfits.

**The original Celestia's eyes widened if fear, feeling the overwhelming power and pressure of the attack.**

"Well, buck," said Celestia, accepting what ever was coming for her.

**"… HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**

"... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed three ponies, one dragon and one draconequus at the same time.

**Celestia's mouth dropped, watching as every single alicorn copy that charged into the beam were annihilated in an instant. The beam travelled further nearly hitting the sun princess, before vaporizing the wall and a good portion of the castle, slowly disappearing in the sky.**

"Well, there goes the castle...," said Luna, deadpanning.

**Landing on the ground once more Celestia gathered her remaining copies, as they all turned to energy and rejoined with her.**

**"That… power. What… are… you?!" yelled Celestia, her voice shaking in fear and exhaustion.**

**"Me? I'm just an old man, who's enjoys the smaller things in life," stated Roshi with a grin, laughing sheepishly.**

"Despite all his power, he's still a humble soul," said Celestia, nodding in approval. "There is much even I can learn from him."

"Are you not upset about losing the match?" asked Sunset, starring at the smiling princess.

"No, there's no shame in losing, especially against somepony like him."

**"'_Just an'_… you had a trump card like that and you didn't pull it out till now?"**

**Roshi rubbed the bruises on his hands. "Never said it was a trump card, did I?"**

"Now he's just milking it," grumbled an annoyed Twilight.

**Not wasting a second for Celestia to act or make another comment, Roshi appeared instantly in front of the alicorn. One swift tap to the neck and she fell to the ground instantly, falling in an unconscious state.**

"Well that's it. Good fight princess. Pay up Twilight," said a smug Rainbow Dash.

**"It's finally over," said Roshi, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm getting to old for this. Now, where is that fool Goku?"**

"Right, were did he disappeared to?" wondered Spike.

**A sudden rush of power behind him made Roshi stop in his tracks. Spinning in place, he faced the white alicorn he had knocked out previously. But she was not quite the same anymore. Her eyes were dark and golden orbs of pure malice, her irises slit like a dragon's. Her mane was a sea of flames, and she was radiating power. More than she ever had shown during the fight.**

"Oh no," whimpered Twilight.

"No, it can't be...," said Celestia with a grim expression.

"DAYBREAKER," gapped the rest of the group.

**Roshi charged at her, planning to defeat her before she had the chance to strike. But with a smirk and a burst of magic, he was trapped in her telekinetic grip.**

"No! Master Roshi!" screamed Starlight.

**"It's over, you old fool. A mere mortal can never hope to match the mere might of DAYBREAKER!" the newly named alicorn stated, chuckling. "Now, kneel before you queen and beg for mercy!"**

"Come on, fight! Beating our sister is one thing, but don't you dare to lose to that mockery of her!" roared Luna, nearly shifting to her Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Yeah! Don't give up!" everypony encored the old fighter, even the ones who were previously cheering for Celestia.

Celestia herself was silently praying. "Please, stop me before I do something I will regret... Master Roshi."

**"Hmpf. I don't beg," said Roshi testing the limits of restriction.**

**"… WHAT did you say?" asked Daybreaker, her eyes narrowing dangerously.**

Everypony smiled at his determination.

**"I said I never beg. I fight!" roared Roshi, gathering his remaining strength.**

"Well said. Spoken like a true warrior," praised Luna, nodding in approval.

**"Fine, if you don't bow… then you DIE!" screamed Daybreaker, an enormous orb of red magic forming on the tip of her horn. And with that small speech, she fired it off, sending Roshi his death.**

**Yeah. NO.**

**Breaking out of his bonds just in time, he slapped the ball of destruction out of the way, leaving a nice large and round hole in the remains of the castle, before it finally collapsed.**

**Daybreaker blinked.**

Everypony cheered, jumped in the air and started to hug each other. Celestia let out a sigh of relief.

**"What the buck…? How strong are you?!"**

**Roshi smirked. "Strong enough."**

"Hah! What's the matter Day-whiner?" taunted Rainbow Dash. "Getting nervous?"

"It's not over yet, Dash. Ol' Roshi is still weakened, while Daybreaker is in top form," reminded Applejack, worriedly starring at the old martial artist.

Pulling herself out of Trixie's embrace, Starlight looked at the apple farmer. "You're right, this is not over. But what can he do? He's at the end of his power!"

"Don't worry," said Shining. "That old stallion has still one trick left."

**Roshi pulled a tiny bottle out of his pocket, opening it while keeping an eye on Daybreaker.**

"Exactly," smirked Celestia.

**This however didn't go unnoted by the corrupted alicorn. "What is this? What are you planning!?"**

**Putting the bottle on the ground, he answered. "I plan to end this fight. For good this time."**

"There you got your one-liner," said Pinkie, smiling at Rainbow Dash.

**"Not if I can stop you first!" roared Daybreaker, launching herself at the old man.**

"Yeah, fat chance," Dash laughed. "Go get her geezer!"

**"Too late! Evil Containment Wave!" yelled Roshi, as a giant green whirlpool appeared around Daybreaker, sucking her into it's pull.**

**"No!" Daybreaker tried to escape, by flying, by teleporting, but it was all was for naught. She was pulled back again and again, until, with a final scream, she disappeared into the bottle.**

"Caught a legendary!" laughed Discord, wearing a red and white cap, along with a blue west.

**Corking the bottle, Roshi gave a satisfied hum.**

**"Got'cha," he laughed.**

**\- K.O.! -**

* * *

As everypony cheered, Celestia gave a relieved sigh, before noticing a nervous Twilight.

"I'm sorry that you lost princess," said the purple alicorn. "I really hoped that you would win."

"I didn't!" laughed Rainbow, who overheard Twilight's last words. "I'm twenty bits richer!"

"Way to kill tha dang mood Dash," Applejack sighed, throwing one of the remaining muffins at her.

"Don't worry, I'm fine," reassured Celestia, giving everypony a smile.

**The view changes to Roshi's kitchen, where he takes a beer from his fridge, while one can see the bottle containing Celestia/Daybreaker standing next to the beverage.**

**Meanwhile, a big-eyed Luna starred at the remains of Canterlot Castle, her mouth hanging wide-open in shock.**

"Is he seriously storing me in a fridge?" asked Celestia, giving the screen an unbelieving look.

"Stop complaining," whined Luna. "I'm left to clean up the mess you caused!"

**Jenny****: That. Was. AWESOME!**

"Yeah, it was!" agreed Rainbow, flying circles in the air, still hyped by the battle.

******Rosewood**: **Indeed. This fight was a close one. While Master Roshi had the advantage of both strength and experience, Celestia was far more agile, and her vast knowledge of magic gave her a far more versatile repertoire of skills.**

"Right, you were pretty even after all," nodded Shining.

**Jenny****: Most of Roshi's offensive attacks rely on close quarter combat, but since Celestia can simply fly and teleport away, or turn intangible, he struggled to get a clean hit on her.  
**

"Yeah, spamming teleportation over and over again kinda ruins the fun," smirked Sunset.

"Would you stop that!" screamed an annoyed Twilight, earning a chuckle from everypony else.

******Rosewood**: **But it wasn't easy for Celestia either. While she possesses a wide variety of spells, most of them weren't designed with combat usability in mind. They also need time to charge up, giving Roshi ample time to either prepare or interfere the spell, and can't be used while maintaining a shield spell, so she had to choose between offense or defence.**

"That's a flaw we have yet to find a way around for," agreed Luna. "Maybe we should focus our efforts to find a solution for this particular problem."

"On it!" smiled Twilight, making a note for later.

**Jenny****: Besides, they would most likely lack in the power department anyway, unable to cause lasting damage to him. I mean he took a barrage of death rays that could shatter solid rock to dust!**

******Rosewood**: **Don't forget his moon-busting feat. He tanked attacks of similar magnitude and survived. While Celestia may be powerful, in terms of raw destructive power, she doesn't compare to other foes he has defeated.**

"True, compared to him, I'm lacking in strength," mused Celestia. "Maybe I should start working out again."

**Jenny****: Well, she could always use her magic to turn him in an actual turtle, but his keen senses and reflexes would make it nearly impossible to hit him anyway. He can dodge machine gun fire and lightning-fast attacks, so some relative slow beams are not much of a challenge to him. But couldn't she just hold him down with her magic?**

"Exactly, why didn't you do that from the beginning, auntie? The match would have been much easier that way," asked Cadance, looking at her fellow princess.

******Rosewood**: **Yes and no. As far as we know, even alicorns can't perform telekinesis and attack at the same time. And while her ability to move the sun sounds impressive, it is not as much of a feat as one might think at first.**

"WHAT did he just say?!" asked a shocked Twilight.

"Hush, Twilight, let's give him a chance to explain," said Starlight, trying to calm down her fuming teacher.

**Jenny****: What do you mean?**

******Rosewood**: **You see, light travels with a speed of 186.282 miles per second. So we basically don't see the sun itself, but rather the sun of eight minutes ago. However, each time Celestia moves Equestria's sun, there is no noticeable delay between her casting the spell and the sun's movement, implying that it is much, much closer to their world. That also means that it is much smaller than ours and most likely magical in nature. And remember, before Celestia took over, the sun was moved by Starswirl and five other unicorns. An extraordinarily powerful unicorn like Twilight Sparkle struggled to lift a single Ursa Minor, who, judging by its size, weights around 340 tons. That means that the group was 'only' able to produce roughly 1.700 tons of force. And that is still a rather generous assumption of us. There is no question that someone as strong as Master Roshi could break out of her bounds.**

Silence.

"Wow, that was a lot of math I definitely understood," said Rainbow, giving a sheepish grin, while Pinkie was laying on the ground, numbers and small suns circling her head.

"He's basically saying that our sun is much closer and smaller than others, so it doesn't take THAT much power to move it. At least compared to other suns," stated Sunset, poking Pinkie with her hoof.

"How can you be so calm about this?!," yelled Twilight. "He just threw everything we ever thought we know on a huge pile and set it on fire!"

"Different dimension with no magic, remember?" smiled Sunset, looking at Celestia. "Are you okay?"

"I... am fine. I just need time to digest all of this," said Celestia, straightening her mane, which resembled Twilight's during one of her... episodes.

Discord and Luna were still snickering at the face Celestia was making.

**Jenny****: And simply throwing or teleporting him away won't count as a win. Using the rainbow orbs of friendship was also out of question. Not only has Celestia severed the connection, making them unusable to her, it's unlikely they would have done anything in the first place. They're mainly used as a last resort to beat the villain of the week, and while he may be an old pervert, he's not evil.**

"True, he might be a pervert, but he's his heart at the right place," agreed Cadance, leaning against Shining.

******Rosewood**: **Master Roshi on the other hand had the perfect means to defeat the princess: The Evil Containment Wave.**

**Jenny****: Which is not only inescapable once it has you, it can also trap beings far more powerful than Roshi himself, including other magic users, like Piccolo or Dercori.**

"Still wish we had something like that," sighed Luna.

******Rosewood**: **Even resorting to the dark arts or falling from grace to become Daybreaker for a power-up would only delay the inevitable.**

* * *

**MUTEN-ROSHI**

**\+ Faster and stronger**

**\+ More experienced**

**\+ More powerful offensive techniques**

**\+ Better combat skills**

**\- Old and fragile body**

**\- Less versitale repertoire**

**\- Can't fly**

**PRINCESS CELESTIA**

**\+ More agile**

**\+ Air superiority**

**\+ Far more ******versatile repertoire****

****\- Physically weaker and slower****

********\- Less experienced********

********\- Barely uses her full potential********

********\- Might hesitate to deal the final blow********

****************\- Not much of a fighter in general****************

* * *

**Jenny****: Seems like it's '_lights out'_ for the princess.**

Most of the group groaned, while others laughed.

******Rosewood**: **(Grumbling in annoyance) The winner is… Master Muten-Roshi.**

* * *

"So, what do you guys think?" Sunset asked, looking around.

"Headaches aside, we've learned a lot of things from this episode alone," stated Twilight, sorting the notes she made. "Alone researching this 'Ki' and upgrading everything we know about the sun will take weeks, maybe even months!"

"I'm more interested in those martial arts we have seen," said Shining, scratching his chin in deep thought. "Maybe Princess Luna was on to something. Implementing these into our guard training can only improve their performance, keeping everypony else safe."

"We should also think of new ways to use our magic in battle," Cadance added. "It IS kind of limited in its current state."

"Who cares about that egghead stuff? Let's watch some more fights! Preferably with somepony awesome! Like me!" urged Rainbow, eager for more action.

The group suddenly heard a familiar chuckle.

"Wait, is that...?" started Starlight, looking back to the screen.

**It now showed the statue of a familiar draconequus, as a crack formed along his figure.**

"YES! It's me! The one and only Lord of Chaos!" cheered Discord, wearing a jersey with a grinning face of himself, waving small flags around.

* * *

_**Discord: "Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?"**_

* * *

"Congratulations Discord," smiled Fluttershy, feeling happy for him.

"Urgh, why is he next?" Rainbow complained, falling back on her cloud.

**Now the screen changed to show the empty sky, when suddenly a crack formed in the air.**

"What the...?" asked a confused Twilight, nearly letting her muffin drop to the ground, if it weren't for Pinkie making a dive and catching it in her open mouth.

**The crack opened, revealing a dark-red space filled with floating eye balls.**

"What the buck is THAT?!" yelled Trixie, diving behind an equally disturbed Starlight.

**A human-looking woman appeared out of the portal, giving both a smile and light chuckle.**

* * *

_**?: "Let's have some fun, shall we?"**_

* * *

"THAT is Discord's opponent?" asked a shaking Spike.

"She looks like a human, but the aura she radiates," Twilight shuddered. "She's not normal."

"That dress! That outfit! Simply marvellous!" gushed Rarity, clearly happy with what she saw.

"And leave it to Rarity to ignore everything else," Applejack sighed.

* * *

\- NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE -

**DISCORD VS. YUKARI YAKUMO (TOUHOU PROJECT)  
**

* * *

"Yukari Yakumo, huh? Yet another strange name," remarked Luna, starring intensively at the blonde woman.

"Well, don't keep us waiting Twinkle Butt!" urged Discord. "Let's start the next episode!"

"Okay, okay," said the purple alicorn, levitating the remote in front of her. "Next episode it is!"

* * *

_Note:_

_Jenny Everywhere, also known as "The Shifter", is an open-source, free licensed character created by Canadian comic book artist Steven Wintle._

_"The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition: This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, that others might use this property as they wish. All rights reversed."_


	3. Discord vs Yukari Yakumo

**Thanos got nothing on them: Discord vs. Yukari Yakumo (Touhou Project)**

\- Last time on 'DEATH BATTLE' -

"So, what do you guys think?" Sunset asked, looking around.

"Headaches aside, we've learned a lot of things from this episode alone," stated Twilight, sorting the notes she made. "Alone researching this 'Ki' and upgrading everything we know about the sun will take weeks, maybe even months!"

"I'm more interested in those martial arts we have seen," said Shining, scratching his chin in deep thought. "Maybe Princess Luna was on to something. Implementing these into our guard training can only improve their performance, keeping everypony else safe."

"We should also think of new ways to use our magic in battle," Cadance added. "It IS kind of limited in its current state."

"Who cares about that egghead stuff? Let's watch some more fights! Preferably with somepony awesome! Like me!" urged Rainbow, eager for more action.

The group suddenly heard a familiar chuckle.

"Wait, is that...?" started Starlight, looking back to the screen.

**It now showed the statue of a familiar draconequus, as a crack formed along his figure.**

"YES! It's me! The one and only Lord of Chaos!" cheered Discord, wearing a jersey with a grinning face of himself, waving small flags around.

* * *

_**Discord: "Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?"**_

* * *

"Congratulations Discord," smiled Fluttershy, feeling happy for him.

"Urgh, why is he next?" Rainbow complained, falling back on her cloud.

**Now the screen changed to show the empty sky, when suddenly a crack formed in the air.**

"What the...?" asked a confused Twilight, nearly letting her muffin drop to the ground, if it weren't for Pinkie making a dive and catching it in her open mouth.

**The crack opened, revealing a dark-red space filled with floating eye balls.**

"What the buck is THAT?!" yelled Trixie, diving behind an equally disturbed Starlight.

**A human-looking woman appeared out of the portal, giving both a smile and light chuckle.**

* * *

_**?: "Let's have some fun, shall we?"**_

* * *

"THAT is Discord's opponent?" asked a shaking Spike.

"She looks like a human, but the aura she radiates," Twilight shuddered. "She's not normal."

"That dress! That outfit! Simply marvellous!" gushed Rarity, clearly happy with what she saw.

"And leave it to Rarity to ignore everything else," Applejack sighed.

* * *

\- NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE -

**DISCORD VS. YUKARI YAKUMO (TOUHOU PROJECT)**

* * *

"Yukari Yakumo, huh? Yet another strange name," remarked Luna, starring intensively at the blonde woman.

"Well, don't keep us waiting Twinkle Butt!" urged Discord. "Let's start the next episode!"

"Okay, okay," said the purple alicorn, levitating the remote in front of her. "Next episode it is!"

* * *

**Rosewood: They might be your friends, but never assume that they're your allies. Sometimes they'll help you out of altruism...**

**Jenny: But most of the time, they just enjoy watching you squirm!**

"Not arguing with them, sugarcube," said Applejack, giving Discord a playful shove. Discord just grinned back.

****Rosewood:** Like Discord, the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony.**

"It's my time to shine!" cheered the draconequus, while a out-of-tone fanfare could be heard in the background, and hippo-shaped confetti fell from the roof.

"Hey, they're getting in Trixie's drink!" complained the show mare, before they turned into green-stripped ice cubes. "Nevermind..."

**Jenny: Or Yukari Yakumo, the Gap Youkai.**

"_'Youkai'_"? everypony asked as one.

****Rosewood:** Masters of both manipulation and reality-bending. I'm Rosewood Reaper.  
**

**Jenny: And I'm Jenny Everywhere!**

****Rosewood: **And it is our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win... in a fight to the end.**

* * *

**DISCORD**

**BACKGROUND**

**\- Race: D****raconequus**

**\- Height: Varies, roughly 9' / 274 cm**

**\- Weight: Unknown**

**\- Age: Over 1.000 years (claims to have lived for eons)**

**\- Occupation: Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, Honorary Cutie Mark Crusader, Ruler of Equestria (formerly)**

**\- Aliases: Purveyor of Pandemonium, Lord of Lawlessness, Earl of Turmoil, Bringer of Bedlam, Dizzy, Dipcord**

**\- Hobbies: Having tea parties with Fluttershy, irritating the princesses, pinching ponies' cheeks, stand-up comedy**

* * *

****Rosewood:** Equestria. A peaceful and orderly society governed by two benevolent pony sisters: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.**

**Jenny: However, things were not always all smiles and marshmallows, and considering the constant threat of villains trying to take over, it still isn't.**

"True, I wonder if things will ever calm down," Twilight wondered , tired of the constant battles.

****Rosewood:** Over 1.000 years ago the maniacal Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, only known as Discord, took over, and with his vast magical powers he warped the rules of reality as he saw fit, causing chaos and panic wherever he appeared.**

"Oh come on, it wasn't THAT bad," argued Discord, getting evil stares from the royal sisters.

"You made my cakes sentient!" yelled Celestia.

"... And?"

"While I was eating them! Their screams haunted me for years afterwards! I couldn't eat anything just slightly resembling a cake!"

"Oh hush, you made up for it in the following centuries, Princess Cake Butt."

With a roar, Celestia jumped from her position on the couch on top of Discord, trampling him under her hooves. The others meanwhile slowly retreated to the back wall.

**Jenny: Honestly, I kind of love what he'd done with the place.**

"See! She understands me!" gurgled Discord from the chokehold he was currently in, courtesy of a certain sun princess.

****Rosewood: **Jenny, the world looked like a nightmare from Jackson Pollock on a sugar high! It was a dystopia!**

**Jenny: The clouds are made of cotton candy, the rain is chocolate milk and pies fall from the sky! How is that a dystopia! It's awesome!**

"Yeah, it was!" Pinkie agreed , the only one completely ignoring the fight right next to her.

****Rosewood:** His reign of terror however came to an abrupt end, when the royal sisters confronted him for one final battle. Backed up by the Elements of Harmony, they defeated and sealed him in stone. Though, he was still conscious enough to notice everything happening around him.**

* * *

_**Discord: "Being turned to stone doesn't keep me from hearing every word Celestia says. Though I must admit it makes rolling my eyes a challenge!"**_

* * *

**Jenny: Oh god... if Celestia knew that, just imagine of all the ways she could have tormented him!**

"Yeah, like the pigeons weren't bad enough," grumbled Discord, rubbing his throat.

"Wait, you were conscious all this time?" asked a flabbergasted Celestia, back on her place on the couch, while the others silently sneaked back as well.

"Come to think of it, you mentioned something like that when we freed you from prison," Twilight mused, thinking back to that day.

"Boy, that must have sucked," Rainbow shuddered from her cloud. "Standing in the same place forever, looking at the same thing every day? Yikes!"

Celestia and Luna paled slightly at that remark, looking at each other uncomfortably.

"Actually, my eyes were closed the entire time," Discord reminded them, before snapping a bowl with jello-eyes in existence, which he promptly started to eat. "Luckily, I know to keep myself entertained despite that. Also, sometimes the entertainment came to me."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Fluttershy, tilting her head.

"Oh nothing~!" he laughed, patting her head.

Meanwhile, Luna looked with a deadpanned stare at her now slightly pink sister, something which didn't went unnoticed by the original pink alicorn and an amber unicorn.

Cadance and Sunset grinned knowingly at each other, giggling.

****Rosewood:** But the imprisonment wouldn't last forever. After 1.000 years, the sister's connections to the elements were severed, and six new ponies were given the powers of these magical artefacts.**

"The most awesome team of all times!" boasted Rainbow Dash, earning chuckles and nodes from everypony.

**Jenny: But as luck would have it, this also weakened the seal on Discord's stone prison and he broke out, drowning Equestria in chaos once again.**

****Rosewood:** Discord, now aware of the elements, used his new found freedom to make sure he would never be stopped again. By stealing and hiding the elements, as well as corrupting each of the bearers, he annihilated the only threat to his conquest of Equestria. Or so he thought.**

**Jenny: After recovering the elements and breaking out of his influence, they faced him on his own territory, and history repeated itself. Discord found his world rocked… again. I guess his freedom was pretty short-lived after all.**

"That pun was terrible," Discord complained, while the others laughed.

"I'm sorry we had to do that," said Fluttershy, getting a small smile from the Lord of Chaos.

"I'm long over it, so I can take this in stride," he reassured his first friend, patting her head yet again.

****Rosewood:** However, this time his imprisonment wouldn't last as long.**

**Jenny: A few months later Princess Sunny came asking the Mane Six to release Dizzy and try to reform him. Because, yeah, setting free the friggin' Spirit of Chaos is such a great idea! WHAT was he thinking?!**

"That's actually a good question. Why did you do it, Celestia?" asked Sunset.

"I had my reasons," stated the sun princess, blushing slightly.

Luna and Cadence giggled silently, while Sunset face-hoofed, but smiled as well.

The others looked at each other in confusion, with Discord opening his head like a banana and scratching his brain.

****Rosewood:** Surprisingly, with Fluttershy's kindness, and Discord being unwilling to lose the one pony who had ever wanted to be his friend, Discord actually abandoned his evil ways and turned over a new leaf.**

Everpony smiled at that.

**Jenny: At least for another couple of months, till that Tirek guy showed up.**

Everyponies smile dropped.

****Rosewood:** By manipulating and tricking Discord, Tirek convinced him to join in on his own attempt of overthrowing Equestria.**

**Jenny: But after Discord outlived his usefulness, he got the same treatment as everypony else: getting his magic sucked out and be left behind, helpless.**

"That was the time were I was at my lowest," sighed Discord, getting comforting looks from the others. "Come to think of it, I never really apologized to all of you, did I?"

"It's okay, Discord," smiled Celestia, while the others gave sounds of agreement and encouragement. "We all forgave you. You are another pony now."

Discord smiled tiredly, getting a group hug from his six best friends.

****Rosewood:** After Twilight Sparkle sacrificed her own magic to save her friends, and him, Discord finally learned the true meaning and power of friendship. Now truly reformed, he's one of Equestria's strongest defenders and a good friend to his allies.**

"See? Even they agree with the princess," smiled Rarity. "You're our friend now darling."

**Jenny: But even reformed he is still a massive troll!**

"Aaaand the moment passed," Starlight deadpanned. "I agree with her tough."

****Rosewood:** He is a mischievous, sneaky and wacky trickster who effortlessly pulls pranks on his targets through the use of his powerful magic.**

**Jenny: Dizzy has a huge sense of showmanship and drama. He laughs and amuses himself with his magical mischief... mostly at the cost of others. However, he has learned to consider the feelings of his victims and restraints himself...**

* * *

_**\- Discord throws the School of Friendship into disarray. -**_

* * *

**Jenny: Most of the time.**

"Hey, at least I'm trying!" grumbled Discord, crossing his arms with a huff.

Starlight, Spike and 5/6th of the Mane Six pelted him with leftover-popcorn.

****Rosewood:** Fortunately, after having his fun, he will usually turn everything back to normal. As the incarnation of chaos and disharmony, Discord possesses a great inclination to these two subjects. Every action, every move he performs is related to them in some way. And with his ability to bend reality itself on a whim, there are barely any limits to his shenanigans. He is capable of doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants.**

"Come to think of it, why don't you use your powers more often?" asked Twilight, giving the draconequus a curios glance.

"What do mean? He's causing enough chaos as it is, we don't need more," said Spike, looking up to her.

"I mean he could solve so many problems, simply by snapping his claws!" answered the purple alicorn.

"That's because chaos doesn't work like that," stated Discord. "If I'm not around, my magic will do what it wants, and that would do more damage than good. And even I can not be everywhere all the time. Besides, many ponies would lose their jobs, or start to depend on me to solve all their problems, instead of doing it themselves."

"That... actually makes a lot of sense," Luna mused. "Kinda strange since it comes from you."

**Jenny: Discord's absurd abilities originate from his very nature as the manifestation of chaos itself. A fact confirmed by his appearance, I mean just look at him! Body of a snake, mismatched wings and horns, limbs from various animals and the head of a pony… donkey… or whatever. He looks like a nightmare for every zoologist!**

"I resent that statement! I'm irresistible the way I am, the mares love me!" Discord grumbled in mock annoyance, getting laughs from the others... and one blush.

****Rosewood:** He's a so called draconequus, and as far as we know, only a few of his kind exist. His origins are completely unknown, the only thing we can say for sure is that he has been around for a very, very long time. Manipulating major events and causing chaos wherever he went.**

"Did I mention that I meet Tirek back then when he was still the prince of the Centaur Kingdom?" asked Discord absentmindedly, grapping some more popcorn.

"WHAT?!" everypony yelled, looking at him in surprise.

"Looks like everypony is capable of the Royal Canterlot Voice these days," he smirked.

**Jenny: Whatever he is, it makes him borderline omnipotent! A snap with his fingers and it happens! He has given bunnies giraffe legs, turned water into chocolate milk, clouds into cotton candy and can even control the sun and moon!**

****Rosewood:** With his near unlimited access to magic, he can easily teleport himself and others over long distances, is fast enough to keep up with Rainbow Dash and perform his own version of the Sonic Rainboom. At one point he even travelled from the Horsehead Nebula to Equestria in mere seconds, putting him at several times the speed of light.**

"Looks like you're not the fastest flyer in Equestria after all," teased Applejack her prismatic friend, who blew her a raspberry in response.

**Jenny: He can also take apart his body like a puzzle, change his form and size however he wants, and stretch himself as if he's made out of rubber. And he can do the same to others as well, like the one time he snapped the horns and wings of the Mane Six away, or stole Celestia's tail without her noticing.**

"Don't remind us," the ponies in question deadpanned in unison, giving the chuckling draconequus annoyed glares.

****Rosewood:** He is able to manipulate minds, either by hypnosis or corruption. He can even outright take control of it, although he prefers not to. Discord also seems to posses near omniscient knowledge, since he knew all the strengths and weaknesses of the Mane Six as well as their names, without ever having met them before. He even knew about Twilight Sparkle's coronation and the 'Winter Wrap Up Song'. But it seems to have limits, or else he would have known about the tatzlworm, or Tirek's betrayal.**

"Well, knowing everything is boring, since it would also mean that surprising me is impossible. And I love surprises!" stated Discord, getting an enthusiastic nod from Pinkie.

**Jenny: Yeah, if he were really omniscient, one would think he would know how to dodge! Anyway, he can make doppelgangers of himself and others - who also have minds of their own -, create ANYTHING practically out of thin air, including entire volcanoes, and while we're on that topic, he can also animate them. Hey Rose, ever wanted a tea-bagging teabag?**

****Rosewood:** No, and where did you get those from? Discord can also manipulate the very forces of nature, like disabling or shifting gravity, manipulating space and time…**

**Jenny: (Interrupts) That dude can travel through time! No joke! He took Fluttershy and a bunch of fillies to a trip to the past AND a possible future! On that note, he has stated that he's unable to change past events.**

"WHAT?!" Starlight and Twilight yelled, looking at the chaos spirit in surprise, and awe. "But how? When we travelled through time, past and future were changed because of our actions!"

"Your little table and my magic work differently," explained Discord, suddenly wearing a lab coat and drawing on a purple board. "If I could change the past, I would never have ended up in stone in the first place. For me, everything that happened, happened the way it happened!"

He smirked at his work, a sketch of Twilight with comically wide eyes, and a head erupting like a volcano.

"While this sounds be very interesting, I must ask you to stop doing this," said Celestia, sounding serious.

"But...! Imagine what we could learn...," started Twilight, before getting interrupted by her former mentor.

"No Twilight, nothing good will come out of messing with the flow of time," stated the sun monarch, giving her former student a warning glance.

****Rosewood:** He can also open up wormholes and travel to other dimensions, which would also explain his otherworldly knowledge.**

"That explains a lot," mused Sunset, "I always wondered how you were able to reference celebrities from my home."

**Jenny: Discord can also create his own realities, like the chaos zone he calls his home, or when he re-created the world of "Ogres and Oubliettes".**

* * *

**POWERS and ABILITIES**

**CHAOS MAGIC**

**\- The source of his reality-bending abilities**

**\- Gives him near-omnipotent powers**

**\- This includes:**

**\- REALITY-BENDING: Discord is capable of altering reality and manipulating the laws of nature**

**\- REALITY-RESTORATION: Discord is capable of restoring reality back into its original state**

**\- SIZE- and SHAPESHIFTING: Discord can change size and form of himself and others**

**\- TELEKINESIS: Discord has shown enough telekinetic skills to lift massive objects with ease**

**\- MIND MANIPULATION: Discord has shown the ability to manipulate others and is skilled with hypnotic magic**

**\- NEAR-OMNISCIENCE: Discord possesses vast knowledge about current and past events **(Twilight was envious)

**\- TELEPORTATION: Discord is able to teleport himself and others over great distances**

**\- CREATION / MANIFESTATION: Discord can create objects, creatures and plants at will**

**\- REPLICATION: Discord can create copies of himself, others and objects**

**\- ANIMATION: Discord can bring any inanimate object to life** (Everypony knows that fact all to well)

**\- OBJECT POSSESSION: Discord can posses objects and appear magically in them as well** (That one too)

**\- POCKET DIMENSION MANIPULATION: Discord can open portals to different dimensions and create them as well**

**\- GRAVITY MANIPULATION: Discord can alter the effects of gravity**

**\- TIME TRAVEL: Discord is able to project himself and others into future and past events** (Twilight grumbled at that one)

**\- MAGIC IMBALANCE DETECTION: Discord has the natural ability to sense disturbances in magic**

**\- And much more**

**HIGH INTELLIGENCE**

**\- Master trickster and manipulator** (Everypony could agree with that)

**\- Discord is good at deceiving others and making them do his bidding without even realizing it**

**IMMORTALITY**

**\- Discord is over 1.000 years old, presumably just as old as, if not older than Celestia and Luna**

**\- He has never shown to age**

**\- His powers make him nearly invulnerable**

**ENHENCED STRENGHT**

**\- Discord is strong enough to lift trees and boulders with no visible effort** (Applejack approves)

**FLIGHT**

**\- Discord can fly using either his wings or magic**

**\- Can fly at FTL speeds** (Rainbow Dash approves)

**\- Prefers simple levitation** (And now she's disappointed)

* * *

****Rosewood:** And that are only his more well known abilities. As a near-omnipotent entity, Discord possesses a nearly endless potential when it comes to the usage of his powers.**

"Why, thank you," Discord grinned, while the others rolled their eyes.

**Jenny: Sadly, because of all his strength, he considers himself above the rest. It could be said that Discord suffers of a superiority complex, something that has lead him to find himself trapped in a rocky prison twice.**

"Yeah, you're way to full of yourself," agreed Trixie, getting looks from the others. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing at all."

****Rosewood:** During most of his career he came of as a being too powerful for his own good, uncaring about how is actions impacted on others. It was all for his own fun and he seemed to enjoy using the ponies own virtues against them.**

**Jenny: Prior to his final reformation he was highly duplicitous, manipulative, uncompromising and unscrupulous, showing no hesitation in lying, tricking, playing filthy and diverse mendacious methods in order to achieve his goals. At times he also seemed to have a rather sadistic and cold-blooded side to him, such as when he was gleefully lying back and watching ponies struggling to get untangled from the plunderseeds, and due to the fact that he constantly laughed at other's dismays. So it is no wonder that most ponies didn't put too much trust in him, despite his supposed reformation.**

With each single word Discord visibly deflated more and more, up to the point were he was just a puddle on the ground.

The others meanwhile shifted uncomfortably on their seats, unsure of what to do to counter the verbal beating he was enduring.

****Rosewood:** But after Fluttershy opened the door to said reformation, he has experienced betrayal, exclusion and even jealousy. By experiencing those extremes his world view expanded, he became more aware of his surroundings and others. And he found a friend in Princess Luna, whose own experiences helped him to overcome the mental barriers he put around himself out of insecurity.**

"You were indeed most adorable during that time," laughed Luna, as Discord solidified himself again like a balloon, getting playful shoves from the gang.

Celestia meanwhile smiled to herself, observing the interaction between the friends, with slightly red cheeks.

**Jenny: By challenging Twilight Sparkle he helped her to grow into her role as a princess, aided the Mane Six at unlocking their Rainbow Powers and helped saving Equestria from the changelings and Sombra. Slowly, but steadily, earning the trust of his new friends.**

Everypony smiled at Discord, who tried to hide his blush by pretending to drink his glass of... whatever it was supposed to be.

What kind of soda is polka-dotted (pink and green) and belches animal noises?

* * *

**FEATS**

**\- Probably the most powerful entity in Equestria **(Discord smiled smugly at that one)

**\- Conquered Equestria two times  
**

**\- Outsmarted Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer** (That got eye-rolls from them)

**\- Helped unlocking the Rainbow Power **(Everypony approves)

**\- Helped Twilight Sparkle to accept her role as princess** (That got a smile from Twilight)

**\- Helped in the defeat of Tirek, the umbrum and Sombra** (Everypony approves)

**\- Saved Equestria from the changelings** (Discord and Starlight hoof/claw-bumped)

**\- Immune to Fluttershy's 'Stare'** (That surprised everypony who wasn't there)

* * *

**Jenny: Discord may be one of the most powerful magic users in Equestria's history, but while his strengths are many, sadly so are his weaknesses.**

"Hard to believe that he has any weak points besides the elements," stated Shining Armour, remembering how helpless he and his guards where against him.

****Rosewood:** Attacking him head-on is destined to fail, as he can easily thwart any assault through his reality-warping powers. However, he is vulnerable to the Elements of Harmony, which have successfully turned him to stone twice. Using the Elements also dispels all of his chaotic magic, returning things to their rightful shapes and places.**

"The most overpowered McGuffin's of all time," complained Discord.

**Jenny: His magic can also be either cancelled by some anti-magic rock or be stolen. And without it, he loses all his supernatural abilities. His magic itself is also rather unpredictable, like that one time where lost control over it because of some nightmares.**

"Well, it's chaos after all! It wouldn't be if anypony had 'control' over it!" argued Discord in an attempt to defend himself.

****Rosewood:** He tends to be very overconfident and so assured of his own invincibility that he will not go all-out against enemies. In addition, his tendency to underestimate his opponents means that he can be taken by surprise, and be defeated before having the chance to react accordingly.**

"True, that's how the princesses and we got you," Twilight agreed. "If you were actually serious back then, we wouldn't have had a chance. Not that I'm complaining..."

**Jenny: Like when he was hit by the Harmony Beam a second time, or Tirek sucked his magic away. Also, while powerful, his magic has limits and can be countered by others. Luna knocked him out him with a sleeping spell, Celestia prevented him from stealing the elements again and Starlight managed to banish his physical body from the school grounds.**

****Rosewood:** During an astronomical event called "Cosmic Convergence" he was contaminated by the released magic and become his polar opposite, Accord. And while intelligent, he is not immune to being manipulated, and fell for Tirek's proposition to become allies, not suspecting that he would betray him in the end.**

"Urgh, that incident with Accord was such a mess," Rarity grumbled, getting a curious look from Sunset.

"Why, what happened?"

"Do you remember Starlight's equality plan?" asked Spike, ignoring the muffled protest of said wannabe dictator.

"I heard of it. Why?"

"Imagine that and amp it up to eleven."

**Jenny: And while being nearly all powerful, he still got sick by a tatzlworm's sneeze!**

****Rosewood:** His biggest weakness however is that, if he exhibits only normal behaviour, he will slowly fade from existence. That shows that he HAS to be chaotic in order to survive.**

"Wait, WHAT?!" yelled an alarmed Celestia, starring at Discord with barely hidden panic.

"Geez, calm down Celly," reassured the surprised Discord, fanning her with an oversized acorn leaf. "It won't happen again, so calm down."

"That explains a lot of your past actions," Cadence thought aloud. "If you don't act as you're supposed to do as the incarnation of chaos, you'll disappear. That's... actually very concerning."

* * *

**WEAKNESSES**

**\- The Elements of Harmony can turn him into stone** ("Still calling McGuffin on that!")

**\- His magic has limits and can be countered**

**\- Can be influenced by magic**

**\- Can lose control over his magic**

**\- Overconfident in his own powers** (Discord smiled sheepishly)

**\- Tends to play with his opponents**

**\- Can be manipulated by others**

**\- Fades away when he's not acting chaotic enough** (That got everypony worried)

**\- Terrible as a stand-up comedian** (Everypony except Discord laughed at that)

* * *

****Rosewood:** Despite his short-comings, he has proven to be a massive asset for Equestria.**

**Jenny: But don't try to fit him for a halo yet. He's still the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, and shows it frequently. He saves and abandons ponies on a whim, keeps playing his pranks and loves to leave everypony guessing.**

****Rosewood:** At least until Fluttershy reins him back in.**

* * *

_**Discord: "Tirek tricked me into believing he could offer me something more valuable than friendship. But there is nothing worth more. I see that now. He lied when he said that this medallion was given as a sign of gratitude and loyalty. But when I say that it is a sign of our true friendship, I'm telling the truth."**_

* * *

"Hey, did you hear that?" asked a grinning Rainbow Dash the draconequus.

"Hear what?"

"The sound of a whip!" hollered the pegasus, laughing her butt of, while Fluttershy meeped, blushing heavily. The rest joined in the laughter, with the exception of a grumbling Discord, and slightly drooling Celestia, who starred absentmindedly in the air.

At least till Luna threw some ice cubes into her lap, causing her to let out a startled yelp.

After reassuring the others she's fine, she gave her innocently whistling sister an angry glare.

**The screen changed to show the next challenger. A woman with dark golden eyes, wearing a purple chinese-style tabard with various trigrams over a pale pink western-style dress. Her hair long, golden hair was left loose under a mob cap, and she carries a pink parasol in her left hand. In her right hand holds a white and pink fan, hiding a prediatory smile behind it.**

"Simply divine," gushed Rarity, dreamily looking over the youkais choice of clothes.

* * *

**YUKARI YAKUMO**

**BACKGROUND**

**\- Race: Youkai**

**\- Height: 6' / 182 cm**

**\- Weight: Unknown (Seriously, we like to live, thank you)**

**\- Bust Size: G**

**\- Age: 17 (actually over 1.200 years)**

**\- Occupation: Stabilizes and monitors the barriers of Gensokyo**

**\- Aliases: Mastermind behind the Spiriting Away, Border of Phantasm, Youkai that lurks in the Boundary, Youkai of Boundaries, Uncanny Smile, Demon that sleeps between Reality and Fantasy, Elusive and Two-faced Youkai**

**\- Hobbies: Sleeping, trolling others, drinking tea at the Hakurei Shrine**

* * *

"And here comes ya opponent," Applejack noted. "That gal's givin' me the shudders."

"I wonder what she's capable of?" Twilight wondered, readying her scroll and quill.

****Rosewood:** Gensokyo, also known as the 'Land of Illusions', is beautiful realm of fantasy, existing beyond the borders of reality. Both home and sanctuary for countless supernatural beings, ranging from cute little fairies to ancient gods.**

"Wow, such a beautiful place!" Starlight whispered, admiring the view provided of Gensokyo.

"Wait, supernatural beings? Such as ghost and stuff?" asked Rainbow, tilting her head.

"G-ghost?!" whimpered Fluttershy, diving behind Discord.

"It seems so," answered Luna, intrigued.

"It looks so... peaceful," smiled Celestia.

**Jenny: Most of the inhabitants are categorized as youkai and are actually pretty friendly, as long as you stay on their good side! If not, well, hopefully they are not too hungry!**

"... Not so peaceful after all, huh?" Shining sweat-dropped.

****Rosewood:** And without a doubt, the most powerful one among them is no other than the 'Youkai of Boundaries' herself, Yukari Yakumo.**

"Here she is," Cadance hummed. "So she's some kind of demon?"

**Jenny: Wow, that chick has one nice rack! Plus, she still looks ripe for the picking, despite being over 1.000 years old!**

"Great, so she's a pervert as well," Rarity grumbled .

The three males (and one multi-coloured mare) in the room silently agreed with Jenny's statement.

****Rosewood:** Youkai roughly translates to either 'mystic apparition' or 'mysterious calamity' and refers to Japanese folk creatures and ghosts. The term can also apply broadly to anything that is a supernatural being or legend, from any culture. Because there are thousands of stories of magical beings around the world, the different types of youkai are endless. Fairies, vampires, oni and nekomata can all be found in Gensokyo.**

"Fascinating, a whole new race," cheered Twilight, taking notes.

**Jenny: ****Alternatively, it is a common Japanese belief that after a certain amount of time, ordinary objects and animals gain life and personality, becoming a kind of youkai as well. In some cases even a normal human can become a youkai under the right conditions.**

"So anything can become like that? Even my Daring Doo doll?" asked an excited Rainbow Dash.

"Seems like it. You have ah doll of Daring Doo?" smirked Applejack at the blanching pegasus.

"W-what?! No, it's an action figure!"

"But you said..."

"An action figure!"

****Rosewood:** There isn't much known about Yukari's past and origins, even her closets friends have only limited knowledge about her back story. She seemingly appeared roughly 1.200 years ago for the first time and has been a major influence to many events and incidents since then.**

"Where have I heard that before?" Sunset smiled, raising an eye brow at an equally grinning Discord.

**Jenny: And boy was she busy during that time!**

****Rosewood**: As her status implies, Yukari is a legendary youkai on the same level as gods, highly respected for her wisdom and power. She is not only one of the oldest youkai in Gensokyo, she is also one of the strongest and most experienced. She was the one who proposed the creation of the 'Great Hakurei Barrier', which covers Gensokyo and separates it from the rest of the world.**

"She rivals gods?!" asked a flabbergasted Trixie, reflecting the expressions of the others.

"And she created a whole new world too," noted an equally stunned Starlight.

**Jenny: She is the only known youkai who can pass this barrier in order to access the Outside World. As one of its creators, she also performs surveillance and safety administration, making her both the guardian and overseer of Gensokyo. Or that's what I would be saying if she wouldn't lay on her lazy blond ass all day!**

"Sounds familiar."

****Rosewood: **Yukari is known for being a very, well, youkai-like youkai who sleeps all day and only lives for the enjoyment of life.**

"Yep, familiar indeed."

"Shut it AJ!" Rainbow growled.

**Jenny: Yukari's MO usually involves manipulating others to do the work for her. And with 'others' I mean the shrine maiden Reimu Hakurei. Poor girl. She's also one of the biggest trolls ever, messing with anyone just for the heck of it.**

****Rosewood:** She rarely acts in a direct manner, except in particularly most serious of situations. In all cases, she rarely lets anyone know what her true aims or goals are, and sometimes these goals are extremely abstract, too.**

**Jenny: She has a well-deserved reputation of being fickle, whimsical, and acting only in her own interest.**

"Ouch, harsh much?" asked Shining, wincing.

"She sounds a lot like Discord when we faced him for the first time," Luna noted, with the draconequus in question sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

****Rosewood:** For whatever reason, Yukari takes it all in stride and does not seriously deny any of those comments. She's actually trying to keep her more obviously altruistic actions a secret, such as her donations to the Hakurei Shrine. She possibly cultivates this image to ensure that people continue to fear her as a youkai. She could easily be either a villain or a heroine, depending on her mood.**

"A lot like you do, darling," said Rarity, looking at Discord, who shrugged and grinned in response.

**Jenny: If anyone is suited for the role of mastermind, it's Yukari. It's rumoured that she started the war between youkai and lunarians, and then lost on purpose, to prevent an even more devastating conflict in the future.**

"So she waged a war, to prevent another one?" Celestia asked in confusion. "That's an... interesting approach."

"'Lunarians'? Like ponies who live on the moon?" asked a suddenly very interested Luna.

****Rosewood: **She possesses a superhuman intellect and especially excels in dealing with numbers. Even her servant Ran Yakumo, who was somehow able to formulate and prove an equation for figuring out the width of the ever-changing Sanzu River, said that her intellect is something that she is not able to comprehend.**

"Now she sounds like Twilly," Shining joked, getting a huff from his sister.

**Jenny: Yukari is able to solve over 1.000 variables in a second, process information with speeds similar to a supercomputer and outsmart Eirin Yagokoro, who's implied to be a Goddess of Knowledge.**

Twilight's mouth literally dropped to the floor at that piece of information.

****Rosewood:** It is unknown to what extent her amazing intellect goes, but it would be no mistake to think that it far surpasses that of any mortal.**

"So basically a super-egghead," summarized Dash, earning angry glares from Starlight and her fellow purple mare.

**Jenny: Her physical strength is also what you'd expect from a youkai of her level.  
**

****Rosewood:** Yukari is strong enough to casually stop a full-powered punch of Suika Ibuki, an oni who can create earthquakes with her steps and flatten mountains by mistake.**

"Whoa," whistled Applejack, impressed. "That gal sure knows how tah work out, Ah can respect that."

**Jenny: She possesses seemingly endless stamina and can move at FTL speeds, allowing her to move and react at the speed of light!**

"Another competitor for the title of the fastest," Pinkie quipped, offering Rainbow a consolation muffin.

"Why the buck is everypony in the show faster then me?!" complained the prismatic pegasus, angrily biting into her treat.

****Rosewood:** As a youkai, she's also next to impossible to kill. Since youkai are more spiritual in nature than physical, conventional attacks or ailments are next to useless against them. Some are able to regenerate from any injury imaganinable, as long as it has insufficient 'meaning'. ****On the other hand, they're more vulnerable to attacks based on faith, such as charms and words. **

"Meaning what now?" asked Spike.

"Basically, you need either divine aid or have enough faith in yourself to believe that you can hurt them," answered Celestia the drakeling.

**Jenny: But as long as the concept they're representing or their incorporeal mind still exist, they simply CAN'T DIE: Yukari herself states that she has no weaknesses and even **_**'shooting, cutting, stabbing, hitting or killing her is useless'**_**. She can shrug off being cut apart, heal from being reduced to mincemeat, tank a small supernova and resist the power of the Ghost Princess Yuyuko Saigyouji, who can invoke instant death upon any living being!**

"So she's a true immortal," stated an amazed Sunset.

"To think that beings of such power could exist!" wondered Luna.

"Ghost's have a princess now, too?" asked Starlight in confusion.

"Seems like it. And she has the power befitting for her status," added Rarity, as always fascinated with anything resembling royalty.

****Rosewood:** She is also able to survive the 'Sword of Hisou'. A weapon capable to cut and disperse souls, erasing a being from existence itself, making it a deadly tool against even the most powerful of youkai and gods.**

"How can one survive that?" Shining questioned in shock.

"No idea. But she can," smirked Cadance, giggling at the face her husband was making.

**Jenny: She can resist mind control and attacks, blocking even Reisen, who can directly manipulate the electrical waves in the brain to cause hallucinations. She was also unaffected by Keine's ability to eat and alter history, however that works is anyone's guess...**

"How can one 'eat' history?!" yelled Twilight, rubbing her aching head.

"By eating a history book of course!" joked Pinkie, laughing at Twilight's expression.

**Jenny: She's has more resistances than Rosy had failed dates!**

Everypony giggled at that.

****Rosewood:** Hey! Anyway, Yukari also displays great aptitude with shikigami, supernatural servants, binding the powerful nine-tailed fox demon Ran and numerous lesser servants. As shikigami are at their strongest when following orders, Yukari must also be skilled at giving the correct orders to fully maximize their potential. In an interview Ran stated that despite sleeping most of the time, Yukari is capable of giving orders the instant she wakes up, and she uses complex equations to increase their power indefinitely.**

"Impressive," stated Celestia, knowing how troublesome it can be to keep her staff and guards in line.

**Jenny: I wish I had a sexy fox servant, too. One who must follow my e-v-e-r-y command...**

Rarity groaned at that, while the males had deep blushes, much to the chagrin of some mares.

****Rosewood:** (Groaning) Ignoring that, she is skilled in onmyoudou, a form of magic which creates and manipulates barriers - presumably due to the overlap with her innate abilities.**

"An entirely new branch of magic," drooled Twilight, while the others chuckled. "I wonder if I can learn it somewhere..."

**Jenny: Here is where her power comes in. The ability to manipulate boundaries. Which is much scarier than it sounds.**

"I don't get it," said Rainbow. "So can build fences or what?"

****Rosewood: **Depending on the circumstances of their origins, youkai posses varying powers and abilities. While some low-level youkai a barely stronger than an ordinary human, some are equal to gods in terms of power and skills.**

**Jenny: Let's see... the power to invoke instant death, manipulation of fate or subconscious, altering history, inflicting insanity and so on. But hers trumps them all.**

"What the buck could be stronger than all of those!" stated a flabbergasted Applejack.

"No idea, but the very thought alone terrifies me," Rarity agreed.

****Rosewood: **Yukari is able to manipulate any boundary in existence, be it material, spiritual, conceptual, metaphysical and so forth.**

"... S-she... can...," mumbled a wide-eyed Twilight, who would have fallen of the couch if it weren't for Starlight's quick reaction.

**Jenny: She can manipulate boundaries. ANY boundary. If it's a boundary, she can make, break or otherwise tweak it. It's probably the most broken goddamn power one could have, period. You want proof? She could easily bust open the boundary between your face and Cthulhu. Wouldn't THAT be a sight to see?**

"I still don't get it...," started a confused Dash. "What's so special about that?"

****Rosewood:** S****ince everything is existentially and conceptually defined by boundaries, the possibilities offered are limitless - for limits themselves are nothing more than the boundary of 'Possible/Impossible', and the user can manipulate even that. Simply put, there is ultimately NOTHING the user cannot achieve. She herself explains that this ability allows her to control the boundaries between any and all things. This gives her the power to manipulate causality (Cause/Effect), probability (Possible/Certain), time (Past/Present/Future), existence (Existence/Non-Existence) and reality (Fantasy/Reality). ****And that is only the tip of the iceberg.**

"... Holy mother of Tartarus," gulped the rainbow mare.

"No wonder she's considered the same level as a god," agreed Discord, sweating... soda?

**Jenny: Remember that ghost princess? She's a friend of Yakumo and was once a human a few hundred years ago, but after her death she was turned to a youkai by her. She also altered the boundary between 'Life/Death' to create a connection between Gensokyo and the Netherworld.**

"She can turn others to youkai as well?" asked an amazed Starlight.

"Forget that," said Trixie, waving her off. "She basically opened a gateway to the afterlife!"

****Rosewood:** She can use her abilities to trap her foes in stories and photos, deny abilities, erase something's existence, warp reality and even make the transitions so subtle that she can bring someone into a different realm without them knowing.**

**Jenny: There're countless stories about her either dropping someone in Gensokyo or influencing events in other dimension. All for shits and giggles.**

"Sounds like something Discord would do," Cadence mused.

"Why, I would never...," began Discord, but was interrupted by Fluttershy.

"Treehugger," said the usually shy mare with a raised eyebrow.

"... And I'll be quite for now," ended the draconequus meekly.

****Rosewood:** She can also alter the boundary between minor things as 'Filling Meal/Light Meal', making a simple cup of tea worth an entire meal, 'Excitement/Boredom'... or 'Focused/Scatterbrained'.**

**Jenny: ... The last one was directed at me, wasn't it?**

Everpony chuckled lightly at that.

****Rosewood:** Maybe. It is also hinted that she's able to destroy boundaries, but doesn't use this ability since it could destroy reality as we know it.  
**

"And here I thought it couldn't get any scarier," stated Sunset. "By the way, how is Twilight holding up?"

"She stopped moving a while ago, but she's still blinking from time to time," noted the only dragon in the group, pricking her. She jumped out of her stupor with a startled yelp, before glaring at her assistant, while the others were giggling at her misfortune.

**Jenny: But we've only scraped the surface of her manipulation of boundaries. By manipulating 'Here/There' she can also create and control gaps, portal-like rips in space. She can use these as a purse, to teleport, to travel, to snatch projectiles and even attack with them.**

"Those eyes are the creepiest thing I have ever seen," complained Starlight.

****Rosewood:** She can also use the 'eyes' within the sub-space of her gaps to monitor everything in Gensokyo, the Outside World, and even other worlds as well.**

"Ok, I retract my previous statement: THIS is way creepier," shuddered the unicorn.

"Do you guys think she can see us too?" asked Pinkie, silencing everypony in the room.

"Heavens, I hope not," stated Rarity, looking around her in discomfort.

**Jenny: That's not creepy at all! She can also cut hers and others bodies in half, like some kind of stage wizard. I tried that too... once... it didn't go well...**

Everypony was now looking at Trixie, who huffed in annoyance.

"Trixie hates you all."

****Rosewood:** That I believe. Her fighting style resolves around elegance and mocking her foes by showing of her superiority. Her weaponry includes a parasol, her fan...**

"Boring!" groaned Dash.

**Jenny: ... And a friggin' train ramming in your face at full speed! Oh, and train signs, too...**

"Better!" grinned the speedster.

****Rosewood:** But her primary means of offense are danmaku. Described as 'Bullet Curtain', 'Curtain Fire' or simply 'Bullet Hell', it's the ability to produce a great number of magical projectiles, the danmaku, and send them in the direction of your opponent.**

"That's awesome!" cheered Spike.

"Wow, that's a lot like Twilight during the Canterlot Invasion, but 20 times cooler!" Dash agreed.

"That remembers me of those arcade games the other Rainbow Dash and me play all the time," Sunset stated.

**Jenny: They can also be used in Spell Cards, which are essentially what makes the inhabitants of Gensokyo as destructive or hax as they are. In the case of Yukari, both.**

"Spell cards?!" yelled Twilight, bouncing up and down in a speed that makes Pinkie proud.

****Rosewood:** It is specified that the 'Spell Card System' was developed by Reimu Hakurei and Yukari Yakumo, and was first used in the infamous 'Scarlet Mist Incident'. It is a duel system that allows the combatants to fight without worrying about dying or killing the other duellist. The danmaku used during this fight are non-lethal in nature...**

**Jenny: But still hurt like hell!**

****Rosewood:** ... And the primary goal is it to dodge and counter-attack. The winner is usually decided by skill and performance. The Spell Cards - and the similarly working Skill Cards - themselves are usually pieces of paper bearing the descriptions of their respective spells, along with the possible approval of the shrine maiden, and are a combination of danmaku and the respective abilities of the users.**

"Very interesting" said an intrigued Shining. "Those would be ideal for guard training."

**Jenny: The ones based around Yukari are absurd due to her boundary manipulation, varying from names like ****'Bait Laced with Venom'**** to ****'Yukari Yakumo's Spiriting away'**_**.**_** Basically, it's a crap ton of beams and energy balls that head in your direction. And yet those are just two of her spell cards!**

* * *

**WEAPONS**

**DANMAKU**

**\- Literally means 'Bullet Hell'** (Sunset, Spike and Rainbow Dash like this one)

**\- A seemingly never-ending barrage of magic based bullets**

**\- Non-lethal if one chooses** (Shining Armour was very interested in that one)

**SPELL CARDS**

**\- Combination of Danmaku and the user's own abilities** (Twilight is drooling)

**PARASOL**

**\- Surprisingly sturdy, can shoot danmaku**

**\- Stylish** (Rarity approves)

**FAN**

**\- Sends out danmaku**

**TRAFFIC SIGNS** (No one understands that one)

**\- Reigns from stop and yield signs**

**\- Are usually shot from a gap**

**TRAIN CARS**

**\- Primary modelled after a Nagano Electric Railway Kijimi 3500**

* * *

**POWERS and ABILITIES**

**HIGH INTELLIGENCE** (Starlight and Twilight approve)

**\- Can come up with 'plans within plans'**

**\- Clever manipulator: Prefers to trick others into playing into her hand**

**\- Incredible smart, at the same level as a Goddess of Knowledge** (Starlight and Twilight are jealous)

**IMMORTALILITY**

**\- At least 1.200 years old**

**\- Can not be killed by ordinary means** (Everypony was still amazed)

**HIGH SPEED and REFLEXES**

**\- Can move and react at FTL speeds** (Rainbow Dash approves)

**\- Can casually evade lasers and countless projectiles while lazing around**

**STRENGHT**

**\- Compares to oni, the physically strongest youkai** (Applejack approves)

**\- Oni can cause earthquakes, destroy mountains and shatter the moon** ("Oh come on!" Luna complained )

**HIGH DURABILITY and RESISTANCE**

**\- Can tank hits from miniature suns** (That dumbfounded everypony)

**\- Resistance to mental attacks and illusions** (Amazed)

**\- Resistance to soul attacks** (Very amazed)

**\- Resistance to causes of death and casualty** (Still amazed)

**\- And several more**

**FLIGHT**

**\- Can fly at FTL speeds** (Rainbow Dash highly approves)

**ONMYOUDON** (Twilight's drooling again)

**\- A mix of science and occultism**

**\- Powerful magic, allowing her to manipulate and create barriers**

**\- Can boost the powers of her subordinates indefinitely**

**MANIPULATION OF BOUNDARIES**

**\- She can manipulate every boundary in existence **(Everypony was very impressed)

**\- Basically limitless in its application**

**\- This includes:**

**\- Absolute Immortality (Life/Death)**

**\- Absolute Restoration (Break/Repair)**

**\- Absolute Change (Immutable/Changeable)**

**\- Absolute Manipulation (Absolute/Relative)**

**\- Causality (Cause/Effect)**

**\- Change/Stagnation (Alternation/Uniformity)**

**\- Creation (Creation/Destruction)**

**\- Death Inducement/Resurrection (Life/Death)**

**\- Destruction (Unity/Division or Creation/Destruction)**

**\- Existence (Existence/Nonexistence)**

**\- Logic (Possible/Impossible)**

**\- Luck (Success/Failure)**

**\- Omnicide (Kill/Survive)**

**\- Omnicompetence (Capable/Incapable)**

**\- Omnifarious (Alteration/Restoration)**

**\- Omnificence/Nonexistence (Creation/Erasure)**

**\- Omnipresence (Nowhere/Everywhere)**

**\- Omniscience/Omninescience (Knowledge/Ignorance)**

**\- Phenomenon Manipulation (Science/Magic)**

**\- Power Negation (Omnipotence/Impotence)**

**\- Power Manipulation (Able/Unable)**

**\- Probability Manipulation (Possible/Certain)**

**\- Reality Warping/Subjective Reality (Fantasy/Reality)**

**\- Reversed Effect (Defeat/Victory)**

**\- Spatial Manipulation (Everywhere/Nowhere/In-between)**

**\- Supernatural Manipulation (Natural/Unnatural)**

**\- Time Manipulation (Past/Present/Future)**

**\- Totality Manipulation (Everything/Nothing)**

**\- Ultimate Invincibility (Beatable/Unbeatable)  
**

**\- And many more**

**GAP CREATION**

**\- Portal-like distortion, usually in the form of a dark-red or black space with floating eyes** ("Creepy!")

**\- Created through the manipulation of the boundary between 'Here and There'**

**\- The eyes are a manifestation of what one can say is the image of **_**'how desires are swirling around'**_ ("What?")

**\- Used for pseudo-teleportation**

**\- Used for observation** ("Super creepy!")

**\- Can summon objects, including antimatter, pillars, trains, stop signs and whatever she wishes**

**\- Can deflect and absorb attacks**

**OMNIPOTENCE** (Discord approves)

**\- Her manipulation of boundaries grants her unlimited powers**

**\- Her power is stated to be capable of fundamentally undermining reality** (Discord approves this one too)

**OMNISCIENCE**

**\- Her manipulation of boundaries grants her unlimited knowledge** (Twilight drools, again)

**REGENERATION**

**\- Can recover from any physical damage if it lacks 'meaning'**

**\- Shooting, cutting, stabbing, hitting and killing is therefore useless**

**\- Can recover from being erased from existence ** (Everypony was impressed)

**SKILLS**

**\- Considered as strong as Suika Ibuki in hand-to-hand combat** (Rainbow Dash and Sunset approve)

**\- Skilled swordswoman** (Shining Armour approves)

**\- Skilled dancer** (Rarity approves)

**SPELLCARDS**

**\- Aerial Bait "Bait Laced with Venom" -**

_**(Multiple gaps open before firing danmaku at high speed)**_

**\- Border Sign "Quadruple Barrier" -**

_**(By summoning barriers and overlapping them, Yukari creates a nest-like web of severe energies)**_

**\- Barrier "Charming Quadruple Barrier" -**

_**(An amped up version of 'Quadruple Barrier', dealing more damage)**_

_**(Also has a vacuum effect as it sucks in enemies)**_

**\- Fantasy Nest "Flying Glow Worms' Nest" -**

_**(Gaps open and fire a barrage of danmaku from behind Yukari)**_

_**(If the enemy tries to get behind her, they fire automatically)**_

**\- Abandoned Line "Aimless Journey to the Abandoned Station" -**

_**(Yukari opens a large gap and a train screeches forth, running over the foe)**_

_**(Her favourite technique)**_

**\- Magic Eye "Laplace's Demon" -**

_**(A series of gaps open, revealing countless eyes)**_

_**(Upon seeing a weakness, they fire)**_

**\- Aerial Bait "Hyperactive High-Speed Flying Object" -**

_**(High speed lasers zip by, too fast to see)**_

_**(Gradually speeds up, bombarding the enemy at speeds that makes blocking useless)**_

**\- Barrier "Boundary of Life and Death" -**

_**(Starting off with low-tier bullets, Yukari speeds up her danmaku)**_

_**(Eventually bombards the entire area with large orbs and multi-coloured danmaku, leaving no room for error)**_

**\- Sinister Spirits "Double Black Death Butterfly" -**

_**(Creates butterfly-like danmaku that box the enemy in before scattering)**_

_**(Repeats on various sides, speeds up over time)**_

**\- And many more** (Twilight is now a drooling and twitching mess, can somepony clean this up?)

* * *

****Rosewood: **Yukari is the extremely rare example of when **_**'with great power comes no responsibility'**_** actually works, for her and for pretty much everyone around her. Her near-godlike omnipotence makes her a force to be recognized with in any given situation and the fact that due to her powers she has access to, as well has knowledge of, other realities and universes is a good reason to be worried.**

"Gasp! I have to plan a 'Welcome to Equestria - Pleace be nice!' party in the case she comes to Equestria!" Pinkie cheered, while the others were looking at each other in alarm.

**Jenny: Good thing she's a bit weird. Most of the time, she only uses her powers to troll random people. But still, it's a fucking broken power. Yukari ****'Watch Me Give Your God a Wedgie****' Yakumo is awesome.**

* * *

**FEATS**

**\- One of the strongest and wisest youkai in existence **(Everypony was amazed)

**\- One of the founders of Gensokyo** (Celestia and Luna approve)

**\- Maintains the barrier around Gensokyo**

**\- Can destroy Gensokyo and everyone in it**

**\- Trained Reimu Hakurei** (Celestia approves)

**\- Tricked Eirin Yagokoro, who's hinted to be a Goddess of Knowledge** (Twilight was deeply impressed)

**\- Defeated many of the strongest beings in Gensokyo, including youkai, celestials and lunarians **(Rainbow and Sunset approve)

**\- Can resist the 'Sword of Hisou'**

**\- Can manipulate others to do her work** (Applejack disapproves)

**\- Mastermind behind several incidents, like the**** 'Lunar War' ****and**** 'Dolls in Pseudo-Paradise'**

* * *

****Rosewood:** Well, she has a few shortcomings, even thought I wouldn't call them outright weaknesses. Her boundary manipulations have limits or at least require certain preliminary conditions in order to function to their full potential.**

"So even she's not perfect, huh?" said Applejack, leaning back in her seat.

**Jenny: While powerful, there are a few opponents even she doesn't want to face directly, like the oldest of the moon princesses, Watatsuki no Toyohime.**

"This princess must be super-tough," Spike mused, before being snatched up in a blue aura.

"Of course she is, young drakeling!" Luna boomed, standing on her hind legs and her left hoof draped around him, waving around dramatically. "After all, just as we, she's a fellow princess of the moon! A..."

"Yeah, yeah we get it Moon Pie Butt," Discord interrupted her before she could start her impromptu speech, while the others broke out laughing. "We're sure she's as loony as you are."

Luna silently fumed at the smirking draconequus as she sat back next to her sister, who was smiling warmly at the interaction between the two.

****Rosewood:** Though it's unknown if she is actually wary of her or just too lazy to fight. And here lies the main problem when it comes to Yukari Yakumo: her upper limits are completely unknown.**

**Jenny: Shit gets abstract fast if we're assuming Yukari is using her powers to their full effect. If you want to be particularly unfair, manipulation of the boundary between 'Life/Death' could very easily kill anyone without some kind of resistance to this ability. A blood-thirsty Yukari is a very scary thing. Unfortunately for us, she uses her ability rarely outside of her gaps, so it's hard to say exactly what limitations she has. If she has any to begin with.**

"That is actually very worrisome," gulped Starlight, while Discord was now sweating... chocolate buttons.

* * *

**WEAKNESSES**

**\- Lazy and tends to not get serious** (Applejack doesn't like this one)

**\- Toys with her enemies** (No pony liked that)

**\- Boundary manipulation has some limits (maybe?)**

**\- Can be beaten in a danmaku battle**

**\- Don't call her hag!** (Everypony laughed at that)

**\- If anyone asks, she's 17**! (Still laughing, but silently agreeing)

* * *

****Rosewood:** Since she's usually either holding back or lets others do her work, she never showed her full strength, preferring to toy with her opponents. While there are some entities that probably CAN match her in terms of skill and power, like various gods, even they prefer to simply leave her on a VERY long leash.**

"Even gods are afraid of her," noted Sunset, shuddering.

**Jenny: In other words, if Yukari's involved, treat with caution! Or better yet, get the hell away!**

"Dully noted," Cadance agreed.

* * *

_**Yukari: "Making it so that people's bodies can be forcibly possessed... truly a deed of the devil. No, the pinnacle of all evil. Do I really look like someone who would commit such an act?"**_

_**Reimu: "You do look like it! In fact, you're the embodiment of it! There's no way that you're not somehow related to this incident!"**_

* * *

****Rosewood:** The combatants are set! Who will prevail? The mischievous Lord of Chaos? Or the Mistress of Boundaries?**

"What do you guys think?" asked Spike.

"This is not an easy one, since both are incredible powerful, but I think that Lady Yukari has the edge," stated Luna, humming in thought.

"Discord got this," Dash disagreed, grinning.

"Yeah, go get her Dizzy!" cheered Pinkie, with Fluttershy and Spike joining in.

**Jenny: Let's… get… ready… to… RUMBLE!**

* * *

**The view settled to a small, lovely looking cottage, showing a certain Spirit of Chaos sprawling on a couch.**

**"I'm so BORED!" complained Discord, standing up and pacing around the room. "Fluttershy is visiting her family, Pinkie is visiting hers too, the princesses have one of those dull meetings again, and the others are still angry at me for giving the CMC that book about pony biology."**

"Don't even THINK about it," three certain mares warned.

"Oh poo."

**Chuckling at the memory, he continued. "Nothing to do, nothing to do," he sighed. "And Fluttershy forbid me from spreading chaos in Equestria... in Equestria..."**

**He grinned.**

"That can only end in a disaster," groaned Twilight.

**"If I'm not allowed to cause chaos in Equestria, to another universe it is!" he proclaimed, before tearing the space in front of him apart and jumping through with a laugh.**

**At the same time, another tear opened over a beautiful little village, bordering an enormous forest, revealing the mad spirit.**

"And now he's in Gensokyo," said Starlight. "That means Yukari isn't far away."

**Looking around, he clapped in excitement, before raising his left arm. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"**

**Suddenly, he paused, still holding his claw up, still ready to snap.**

**"Huh?"**

**Chaos was erupting around him, the sky turning to all the colours of the rainbow, rocks and trees were floating around, defying anything known about gravity, and the clouds formed whirlpools, sucking everything under them in.**

**But he had not done anything of it. With an expression of befuddlement, he stopped floating and looked around.**

**"Hey, what gives?" he whined with all the grace of a grumpy child. "Things were perfectly normal a minute ago!"**

**"A lot can happen in a minute."**

"There she is," smiled Pinkie. "And she already beat you to the punch!"

**Alarmed, the Spirit of Chaos looked around, muttering to himself.**

**"Okay, why can't I find you?"**

**A giggle was the response. "Because you aren't creative enough~."**

"Wow, I never thought I would hear somepony saying this to Discord of all ponies," stated Spike.

"Them's fighting words!" Discord exclaimed with a southern accent, wearing Applejack's and punching the air around him.

"Give me back mah hat!"

**Now the draconequus tightened his lips, his expression faltering properly. "Hey, I'm plenty creative! Watch!"**

**He finally snapped his fingers, and the world was promptly thrown into even more chaos. The buildings were spiralling amalgamations of candy and cake, the streets were paved with soap and the plants had snapping maws rather than leaves.**

**"Oh come on~," the voice teased. "You call that chaos? Here, let's leave the poor villagers alone for now."**

**Behind Discord, a tear in space opened, revealing the eyes of millions of lost souls.**

"Still creepy," Starlight complained.

**Yukari smiled as she stepped out of the portal and sat upon it, facing Discord, as if to study a new plaything. The chaos around the two meanwhile slowly faded away, returning things back to normal.**

* * *

**\- Boundary between Chaos and Order –**

* * *

**"I do not believe we ever met," she said politely. "I am Yukari Yakumo, also known as the Gap Youkai. Now, who are you~?"**

**Discord laughed. "Why, hello there!" he started, suddenly wearing his orange suit, whirling a cane in his right paw, while tilting his hat and giving a dramatic bow.**

**"I am the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, the Lord of Turmoil, Baron of Calamity and the Harbinger of Cotton Candy! I am the one and only draconequus, DISCORD!"**

**He threw another dramatic pose, while one could hear the applause of an invisible audience in the background.**

Everypony chuckled at his introduction.

"Never change," grinned Sunset, getting a wink and a laugh from Discord.

**Yukari smiled, placing her fingers under her chin to rest on a gap just underneath her elbows.**

**"You're an interesting one indeed. And I can sense a quite impressive level of magic coming from you."**

**"Why thank you, it's nice to finally meet someone who loves chaos as much as I do," Discord grinned, snapping his suit away.**

Celestia starred at the woman in barely contained jealousy, getting knowing looks from two of her fellow princesses (sans Twilight).

**"While we're at that topic," he started, looking at her innocently. "Why don't we share a few stories over some glasses of chocolate milk and..."**

**In an instant, Discord teleported away, and for a good reason. A beam of light nearly struck him, and the gap that had fired it closed behind him. Yukari still smiled.**

"What the...? What was that for?!" Dash and Discord yelled in unison, looking at the screen in anger.

**"Please, don't take me for a fool. I saw you go and use your powers," Yukari stated. "I may appreciate some little mischief here and there, but your actions could be a threat to the barrier."**

"Looks like she is doing something by herself for a change," stated Applejack. "Ah don't know if ah should approve or not."

**Discord blinked. "Are you challenging me?" he asked.**

**"You are the intruder here. If anything... it is you who is challenging ME," countered Yukari, tapping her chin with a fan.**

"She's not wrong," said Shining, getting a shove from his wife as Celestia looked at the screen in disdain.

**He just stared at her for a moment before broking into a grin. "You? Just what are you going to do? Oh please, provide me some entertainment," chuckled Discord, ready to snap whatever he thought needed into existence. "This should be amusing."**

**Yukari's smile was hidden from him, but it twisted into of a mix of confidence... and outright sadism.**

"Here they go!" said Pinkie, jumping on Discord's head, who ignored her as he starred intensively ahead.

* * *

**\- FIGHT! -**

**Yukari aimed her parasol at the draconequus and fired first, sending three clear spheres of energy in his direction.**

**Discord just chuckled at that, and in a flash, he was wearing a baseball uniform and dashed at the orbs, before sending them flying with swings from a bat.**

"Homerun!" cheered Discord, joined by Pinkie, Spike and Dash.

**"Homerun!" cheered the chaotic spirit, before glancing around curiously, searching for his blonde foe, finding that she vanished from view entirely. With a smirk, he faced what was an obvious move - a wave of attacks from behind.**

* * *

**SPELLCARD – MAGIC EYE "LAPLACE'S DEMON"**

* * *

"She plays cheap," grumbled Applejack, not liking her style of fighting.

"Not everypony charges head on like you do, darling," said Rarity, trying to calm the apple mare down.

**Large white words appeared behind him as he dodged every single blast in slow-motion, laughing and whooping all the time:**

**'MISSED'**

"You're not taking this fight very seriously, are you?" deadpanned Sunset, raising an eyebrow at the chaos spirit.

**Yukari was unimpressed. "For someone who claims to be creative, you take your tricks from others quite a lot. Someone might sue you."**

"Ouch, that hit a bit too close to home," Discord winced, while Celestia fumed with anger.

**"Did you expect to catch me that easily?" Discord questioned as his uniform changed to a gaudy-looking golden armour with a red cape, and the bat to a sword made out of gleaming silver.**

Celestia got a dreamy look in her eyes.

**Yukari smiled, whirling her parasol.**

**"No~."**

**With that, something distorted behind Discord, a gap filled with an unholy number of eyes and arms trying to claw at him. The draconequus maintained his focus on Yukari, but pointed his eagle claw behind him, firing a blast of red magic from it. The arms inside were struck, vanishing back within the gap as it closed.**

"Holy Tartarus, that was eerie," said Sunset, already having goose bumps.

**He grinned, seeing that Yukari had stepped back, unfolding her small fan just over her mouth, hiding a coy smile.**

**"My turn!" he laughed, before conjuring a giant cucumber with tiny white wings. Jumping on it, he charged at her, holding up his sword. "Here I come!"**

"Trixie is unsure what is more stupid: This, or the time you summoned those damn pigs," sighed the stage magician, giving the draconequus the stink-eye.

**Yukari tilted her head in curiosity, smirking as she moved her hand in front of her. In that moment, a tiny gap formed just as the sword came down on her.**

**"Oh come on! That's just cheap!" complained Discord, before warping his right arm. It stretched to seemingly impossible lengths, trying to land a hit from a different angle.**

**Once again, Yukari moved her left arm and summoned a gap to block the strike, but this time the sword itself changed form, going under the hole and swiping down, attempting to sever the hand. Just before it could, another slit in space opened above the entire limb, forcing him to stop his own momentum before he lost the blade in it.**

**"My, such good reflexes," complemented the female youkai, pulling her dainty arm back, as Discord checked his peripheral.**

**A slit was right next to his neck. If his attack would have succeeded, he would've just ended up decapitating himself.**

"What in TARNATION!" roared Discord, as he unleashed his inner Applejack, while everypony starred at the screen with wide eyes.

"T-that could have k-killed a pony!" stammered Starlight. "Why would she go that far?!"

"I don't think she cares much about the lives of others," stated Luna, looking worriedly at her fuming sister. "I can understand that this could happen during the heat of battle, but to do this and be so nonchalant about it..."

**He grumbled, clearly not amused as he snapped his equipment away, starring at the blonde in disdain.**

**"You're quite the tricky one," he stated, teleporting a few feet away. "Locks like I don't have to hold back."**

"Looks like Discord is done playing around," stated the still shaking Cadence.

"Understandable, after this nopony would hold back any more," agreed Shining, eyes narrowing at the youkai.

"Get her!" demanded an angry Dash, patting a whimpering Fluttershy, who decided to hide behind her.

**Yukari smiled at that, pointing her fan in his direction.**

**"Well then, let's have some fun, shall we?"**

"And yet she's still messing around," stated Spike.

**With a snap, a giant hollow pumpkin, burning with eerie green fire, appeared out of thin air, ramming into Yukari's belly at high speeds and carrying her across the sky towards the clouds. The youkai didn't seem bothered by this, as she simply swatted it away with her fan. A small eruption followed the impact zone, covering the ground with grey ash clouds.**

"Yep, definitely done playing around," said Luna, looking at the screen with wide eyes.

**The draconequus used the distraction and teleported. In an instant, he was attacking Yukari from the side while wearing bright-red boxing gloves, only to be blocked by her umbrella. The youkai turned to him, a bit of amusement in her eyes as she put the fan away and seemed to grab the air. Discord quickly lifted his elbow and smashed it against her face, stunning the surprised woman before she could use any of her abilities and striking her in the stomach before she could recover, sending her flying to the ground.**

"Yeah! Go get her!" applauded Pinkie, her formerly straight mane poofing out again.

**Clapping his hands, an enormous wave of what appeared to be toxic-orange soda shot out of the surrounding clouds, crushing down on Yukari.**

**The youkai sage just straightened up in mid-air, waving her hand across her hair as she held up her parasol and opened it.**

"Like a flimsy umbrella could stop that," Discord grinned, enjoying the beat-down he's delivering on-screen.

**The moment it hit, the ocean split into two, before blasting into the forest below, uprooting countless trees and covering everything with sticky juice for miles. While this was occurring, the youkai looked at her nails with minor disinterest, opening a gap just in front of the umbrella and had the wave swallow itself inside it.**

"Forgot about her gaps already," Applejack sighed, clearly disappointed.

**When it cleared, Discord appeared right behind her, sending a stream of rubber snakes at her, trying to wrap her up.**

**"I appreciate the gift, Mr. Chaos Spirit," Yukari smiled, then opened a gap right before him… and unleashed the rest of the wave, hitting him before he could teleport away, blowing him into the stratosphere and beyond. "But I'm afraid I have to send it back, purple is more my colour."**

"You give purple a bad name with your actions!" yelled Twilight, getting nods from Spike and Starlight.

**Discord was thoroughly drenched when he finally reappeared, shaking with rage as the soda on his fur vaporized due to the heat.**

**Suddenly he visibly deflated, sighing as he summoned a fire hydrant, cooling and cleaning himself, before returning his gaze to the youkai, who watched him with barely contained amusement.**

**"This is officially no longer funny," he stated, drying himself with an obviously displeased white bunny, throwing it in a bin afterwards.**

"Angel?" asked a bewildered Fluttershy, while the rest of the group giggled.

**"I hereby forfeit."**

"WHAT?!" everypony yelled.

**"Is that so?" Yukari began. "Good. It would get boring if I had to kill you with such ease."**

"She was really going to kill him...," said Celestia suddenly, spooking everypony. Luna and Sunset were looking at each other in worry.

**She suddenly raised her arm. "Or that's what I would say... if you were the real one in the first place." She seemed to grab the sky and pulled, removing several clouds behind her, revealing the true Discord hiding inside a floating shrub, with only his tail and a lone feather exposed.**

* * *

**\- Boundary between Ignorance and Awareness -**

* * *

**"Urgh, so you're good at playing Hide-and-Seek too," groaned Discord.**

"Now you're cheating too," complained Applejack.

"Well, excuse me. But if she's not playing fair, why should I?" asked Discord, getting a grumble in response.

* * *

**SPELLCARD - EVIL SPIRITS "YUKARI YAKUMO'S SPIRITING AWAY"**

* * *

**A blast of Danmakus and lasers struck the draconequus point blank, launching him viciously down onto the surface. The sounds of breaking bones could be heard even from Yukari's position, as she disappeared into a gap in space.**

"Ouch, she isn't pulling her punches, is she?" winced Rainbow. "I knew how that feels."

**She warped near her opponent's flattened form. "I might generously assume that you simply like being beaten to a pulp," she mused. "But I think you simply aren't imaginative enough."**

"Now she's mocking him," stated Rarity, while the temperature in the room started to rise slowly.

**Discord recovered and stood up, looking fairly frustrated**

**Yukari smiled and dashed around, throwing her hand out. Her dainty fingers reached for the draconequu's eyes, barely missing as he dodged and tried to counter with a punch. Yukari giggled at the futile attempt and lifted herself upwards, spinning across the air and placed her hands on either side of Discord's face.**

* * *

**\- Boundary between Life and Death -**

* * *

**The Spirit of Disharmony shuddered, before breaking out of her grasp. He ducked down and tried to slice the youkai with his left claw, which Yukari easily evaded.**

**Both broke apart, facing each other at a few feet's distance.**

**"You saw it, did you~?" Yukari questioned. "Your death?"**

**Her smile seemed… off. Uncanny, some would say. As if behind the curve of her lips was her sheer inhuman nature.**

"Dear Faust, she is a monster," shuddered Twilight, just as disturbed as the others. "Way worse than Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis and Sombra together."

**The Lord of Chaos was visibly disturbed, taking deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down.**

**"Is that fear what I sense? How delicious. Do I scare you?" Yukari teased, holding up her fan to hide a giggle. "If you give up now and submit to me, I might even spare you."**

"How can she enjoy this so much?" whimpered Fluttershy, diving deeper into Rainbow's cloud.

**"Fear you? Submit to you? Don't be silly," Discord snarled, recovering. "I'm merely interested in your nature. It's not something that should exist, yet it does. Like an illusion. What did you say you are? A 'Crap Youkai'?"**

Silence.

Roaring laughter.

**Yukari's eyes narrowed a bit, the lower half of her face covered by her fan to hide her expression.**

* * *

**\- Boundary between Irritation and Serenity -**

* * *

**"Scrap Youkai?"**

Cue more laughter.

* * *

**\- Boundary ******between** Irritation and Serenity -**

* * *

**"Lap Dance Youkai?"**

At this point everypony was rolling on the ground, laughing their collective asses off.

* * *

**\- Boundary ******between** Irritation and Serenity**

* * *

**"Ah! Gap Hag!"**

* * *

**\- Boundary ******between** Anger and Serenity -**

* * *

Silence.

"Oh shit, now you've done it," remarked Spike, starring with wide eyes at Discord.

"Language!" yelled Twilight.

**"Anyway, that aura you posses, it's not really here. YOU are not really here. You don't truly exist," he mocked, grinning cruelly. "You're nothing more than a phantasm."**

**A flash. A stab through her heart. The youkai's eyes widened with shock as she looked down... the same blade Discord had used earlier in the battle, held by a second draconequus... had pierced her at last.**

**"I don't have to fear or spare something that doesn't really exist," smirked the Discord in front of her.**

"Whoa Nelly!" stated Applejack.

"Now he's trying to end her too," noted Shining, getting the attention of the others. "Seems like she's pushing him to his limits."

**A swing, and Yukari's shoulder was completely cut open, blood seeping out of the massive wound. The Lord of Chaos approached her with ease; he was obviously assuming his victory was assured.**

**"I see... so you're the type to talk big," he mocked. Holding his paw out, he continued. "But once exposed, will fade into obscurity. A creature that is nothing more than a bad dream, a living nightmare - will be put down for good here."**

"He treats her as a monster now, not a person," said Sunset, starring at the screen. "He's technically not wrong, but this is still disturbing to watch."

**Yukari blinked, growling as a gap opened to her side and fired several violet beams of light, the blasts homing in on the chaotic spirits... but they vanished. At that moment, the sword appeared out of a crack in the sky, piercing her belly.**

**"You're not the only one that can manipulate reality," Discord laughed, reappearing as a single entity in front of her.**

**"A dream you say," Yukari muttered... and broke the sword with her hand. "Then I suppose I'll just have to wake you up."**

"Looks like she's getting serious now too," remarked Cadence. "This doesn't bode well."

**Her body was suddenly set ablaze as the remains of the sword exploded, confusion running across her face as she tried to retreat into a gap.**

**"Good luck with that, I'm a heavy sleeper," grinned Discord, forming a giant sphere of magic between his palms. "Just ask Fluttershy."**

**And with that, he sent the sphere in her direction, intending to end this fight.**

Everypony was leaning forward, anxious about what would happen next.

**Only for something to redirect the blast of distorted energy towards the ground below.**

"What the...?!" everypony yelled in surprise, blinking.

**When he looked up in confusion, it was yet another blonde woman, one with multiple white-tipped tails and a mob cap barely hiding her ears.**

"Hey, that is cheating, no outside help!" complained Pinkie, holding a red card up. "Foul Play!"

**"Ran, I don't remember summoning you here," Yukari sighed, opening her fan, while her wounds finally had time to heal properly.**

**"Forgive me, my lady. But I couldn't just sit by idly. This creature is not worth your precious time," stated Ran Yakumo, her most trusted shikigami. "Please let me handle this, my lady."**

"Well, I can at least understand her reasoning," stated the Element of Loyalty. "I couldn't stand aside either if I saw you getting beat to a pulp by some punk."

**Getting into a fighting stance, Ran looked at Discord with obvious disdain. "You'll regret coming here and laying your filthy paws on Mistress Yukari, you cretin!**

**The Gap Youkai simply approached her shikigami and struck her over the head with her parasol.**

**"Kya!"**

Stunned silence.

"Ok. What?!" asked a confused Trixie.

**"My, it seems you're malfunctioning a bit, do I need to do a hard reboot?~" Yukari asked, hitting the parasol over the fox demon's head again.**

**"Owowowow! Lady Yukari-! Ow!"**

"Is this really happening right now?" questioned a bewildered Rarity.

**Discord could just watch. In fact, it was obvious that he actually wanted to sit down and enjoy the show.**

"Don't just sit around there! Do something! This is an ample opportunity to finish this fight!" urged Sunset the draconequus.

**"Well, I guess I will forgive you this time," Yukari finally relented, opening a gap. "Your timely intervention did save me some trouble. Go home and prepare me some tea, I will need it after this is over."**

**"Y-yes, Lady Yukari!" whimpered the bruised shikigami, getting up and quickly jumping into the gap, closing it behind her.**

"Seems like she wants to finish this fight on her own after all," mused Shining.

**Once she was gone, Yukari faced Discord, cracking her neck.**

**"Looks like I got a little carried away," she stated. "Thank you for your patience. Now, let's continue, shall we?"**

"Here they go again," stated a worried Celestia.

**"No matter what you do," Discord began, snapping his claws. "It won't help."**

**The youkai turned in confusion, seeing what appeared to be an army of Discords surrounding her. Each one coming at her with a sword in hand, while the original was standing back. The youkai smirked and simply held her fan above her head.**

* * *

**SPELLCARD - YUKARI'S ARCANUM "DANMAKU BARRIER"**

* * *

**At that moment, two sigils - rings with patterns similar to a summoning circle - scattered apart and began to spew forth blue orbs of light, all tightly packed together, as the other ring fired pink orbs. The Discords saw the orbs flying forth, forcing them to scatter before being bombarded.**

**At that moment, the bullets stopped just short of hitting the youkai in the centre and flew back again - resembling a beautiful duo-coloured flower. The copies were overwhelmed due to the speed and sheer number coming at them, leaving them open for the next set that ripped through them like butter, reducing them to nothing.**

"Wow, neither of them is holding back anymore," said Starlight, analyzing the fight on the screen.

**"That was merely Easy Mode, even a child could accomplish that," Yukari teased the real Discord. "I am an elder youkai, and you are nothing more but a mere spirit. What looks like impermeable chaos to you is the tip of the iceberg for me. So, let's amp it up to... LUNATIC."**

"Nevermind, she was still playing around?!"

* * *

**SPELLCARD - PARADOX "PERPETUAL MOTION"**

* * *

**Discord realized that he was moving sideways. Trying to stop himself ended in failure, as he was now shifting back and forth.**

**Danmaku appeared randomly in the space around him and split into several more, forcing the chaos spirit to dodge without the ability to stop, wobbling back and forth through the barrage appearing out of thin air.**

**Suddenly, the air seemed to vibrate, as the wind was picking up, vaporizing any cloud in its wake.**

**The sky was still bright, the sun shining on him as Yukari appeared in front of him and landed a punch that launched Discord back - into the dark. The moon and stars were shining as if it was night time.**

**In fact.**

**It was.**

**Both night and day were existing in unison. The sun and moon were shining bright as Discord floated under the night sky.**

* * *

**\- Boundary between Day and Night -**

* * *

"The sun...," gapped a stunned Celestia.

"And the moon too," added a similarly surprised Luna. "She took control of both of them at the same time?!"

"And those don't fall under the same rules as ours," remembered Twilight, blanching. "J-just how powerful is she?!"

**Without hesitation, Yukari flipped her hand upwards, creating a gapping distortion over the draconequus.**

* * *

**SPELLCARD - DECEPTION ARTISTRY "DARK SIDE OF THE MOON"**

* * *

**The gab unleashed glowing white magic circles in all directions and random distances, and a few black ones as well. The black ones unleashed sprays of blue lasers in Discord's vague direction while the white ones unleashed a considerably larger amount of lasers each, but in all directions.**

**Shortly after summoning this attack, Yukari leaned back to avoid a counter blast from a panicking Discord, before rising up and sitting down on a gap to avoid another one passing underneath her.**

* * *

**SPELLCARD - FANTASY NEST "FLYING NEST GLOW WORM'S NEST"**

* * *

**Finally, after what seemed to be hours, but were only a few minutes, the barrage of attacks stopped, giving Discord a chance to catch his breath.**

"Trixie's eyes hurt," Trixie complained.

**Looking around for his foe, he realized that she was gone again. While preparing for what was surely coming for him, his left arm suddenly vanished. Surprise ran across his face as he noticed this.**

"Dear Celestia, what now?" asked Cadance in anxiety.

**Yukari was right behind him, holding his ripped off arm.**

"Oh my non-described deities," hurled Discord, a stream of liquid rainbows streaming out his mouth.

Fluttershy and Rarity fainted, while the others were looking just as sick as Discord.

**"The ability to manipulate reality you say?" started the gap youkai, throwing the limb away, as Discord's arm regenerated. "Close but no cigar. My power is much greater than that, exceeding your limited understanding of what you call 'reality'."**

**As the draconequus turned... his head was reduced to nothing in a heartbeat. His body soon followed...**

Everypony was starring at the screen in pure horror.

**"The 'Boundary between Form and Nothingness' had befallen you. A tragic and abrupt ending, befitting for one like you. Dirt to dirt, so to speak," with a smile, Yukari unfolded her umbrella… before a strike from behind cut through her body. Slowly, she began to lean forth.**

"I can't stand much more of this," moaned Twilight.

**Another swing... and Yukari might as well have been cut in half. The youkai's eyes widened as she fell to the ground below.**

**As he watched the woman fall, the Lord of Chaos grinned.**

**"When will you finally learn?" he asked mockingly. "No matter what you do, it's useless!"**

"Hello, somepony called Mr. Murphy?" tried Pinkie to lift up the mood, despite her hair being straight enough to cut wood.

**At least that was what he said before the sky turned to a bloody red, and something leered down on him. It resembled an enormous version of Yukari's right eye that blinked at him. Whatever it was, it told him that the fight wasn't over.**

Rarity, who just got up, fell to the ground once again, in blissful unconsciousness.

* * *

**SPELLCARD - AERIAL BAIT "BAIT LACED WITH VENOM"**

* * *

**And at that moment, from every direction, gaps formed in the space of sky, and a barrage of lasers bombarded the chaotic spirit like hail. Each beam moved too fast for him to react. Each hit looked like an uncontrollable explosion.**

**"Mr. Chaos Spirit, you mustn't underestimate me~," Yukari's voice echoed from the gaps, before she stepped out. "No matter how many times you try to kill me, the only thing you'll ever achieve is to ruin my dress~."**

"Dress?" asked Rarity groggily, waking up at the sound of her favourite word.

* * *

**SPELLCARD - SPACETIME BOUNDARY "BORROWED TURTLE WAVE"**

* * *

**Yukari summoned a blue-glowing gap in front of her, showing a green landscape, a mountain and... Canterlot?**

"Is that our castle?" asked Luna in trepidation. "What could she want from there?"

**Suddenly, the castle exploded, as a bright blue beam shot forward, going through the gap and heading for Discord, who barely had the time to jump out of the way. The attack continued, until it hit a mountain in the distance, reducing it to dust. Discord gapped, before turning around and scowling at the smug blonde.**

Everyponies jaw dropped.

"H-how?!" yelled Twilight, plucking her mane.

"That makes no sense, even for me," stated Discord in a rare moment of agreement with the youngest alicorn.

**"That's cheating!" he shouted, pointing an accusing claw at her.**

"We're well past this point now," deadpanned Sunset, still shaking a little.

**"I am a youkai," Yukari reminded him all too happily. "Being fair isn't in our job description."**

"Yeah, that is what I thought."

* * *

**SPELLCARD - SINISTER SPIRITS "DOUBLE BLACK DEATH BUTTERFLY"**

* * *

**"Oh come on!" complained Discord, flying away as fast as he could.**

**"Neither is being nice," she laughed.**

**Discord darted away with a yelp as the monstrous attack began. It started with hundreds of massive butterflies being flung all over the arena in a massive pulse, scattered around the space. Then, Yukari crossed her hands, and all the butterflies began a rotation in both directions to form a tornado of death, surrounding him.**

**Just as that happened however, something changed in the atmosphere... a burst of magical energy forced the lights away.**

**Discord lifted his right paw, ready to snap again, only to be suddenly pulled away by a massive red claw emitting from a distorted space behind him. Confusion was quickly replaced with shock as he saw Yukari waving her fan, sending what appeared to be blades from it. The draconequus focused ahead and a wall made of candy cones formed before him, deflecting the blades with ease.**

"Looks like they're at a stalemate" said Shining. "Whatever they do, it's cancelled by the actions of the other."

"Hey guys, Fluttershy is still unconscious," Spike noted.

"Let her be, this is nothing for her," answered Discord, worried about his first friend.

**Taking note, Yukari simply waved her hand again. The claw began to crush Discord in its grip. But despite its mighty hold, the Spirit of Chaos didn't make a sound. His gaze met hers, and he smirked... before melting away, running through the fingers like jello, reforming under the distortion.**

"No one can get the upper hoof," agreed Starlight to Shining's previous statement.

**The youkai seemed to grab nothing, clenching her hand on the air around her. The draconequus didn't had the time to react as she seemed to pull… and in that moment, it looked like everything was sliced in two, Discord's body was ripped in separate halves, and the clouds parting several kilometres away like butter.**

* * *

**\- Boundary between 2D and 3D -**

* * *

"What did she do?" Trixie asked in confusion.

"She basically twisted dimensions, using one to cut through the other," explained Sunset, her mouth open enough to fit an entire wheel through it.

**Just as he put himself together, Yukari stepped out of a gap behind him, a smirk on her face. Before he could move, she swiped her hand down, bitch-slapping his face with enough force to part the remaining clouds in the distance. The force of her backhand knocked Discord out of the sky, sending him plummeting to the ground with the speed of a falling meteor. The impact from his landing devastated the land below, terra-forming the mountain range entirely.**

"No mercy," whimpered Discord, while Celestia stood up and sat right next to him, laying one of her wings over him. This action didn't go unnoticed by the others, but no one said anything.

**Stepping through another tear, Yukari followed him.**

**"You know... it's not too late to accept my offer," Yukari began, noticing that his wounds are healing at a much slower pace. "You may even get another chance to spread havoc across another world."**

**Discord stood up as his eyes met Yukari's... and he responded accordingly.**

"No...," started Discord, scowling.

**With a claw through her chest.**

"I'll never betray my friends again."

**Yukari didn't reply at first, blood leaking from her wound. Then she smiled.**

"Tartarus, when will she finally give up," asked Luna no one in particular.

**At that moment, the air around Discord started to tremble.**

**"As I stated before, I can feel your fear. I can literally taste it. And it's... delicious," Yukari grinned wolfishly, licking her lips. "Play-time is over... I'm getting serious. Now, allow me to show you the difference in our powers."**

* * *

**\- Boundary between Mischievous and Serious -**

* * *

"Not at all, it seems," gulped Twilight.

**"You feed on fear you say?" Discord began, teleporting away from her.**

**A crack formed above the youkai and large, scaled claws, each the size of a tree, forced the dimensional rift open as a near endless array of fire-breathing dragons poked their heads out. "Then you will starve!"**

"Whoa!" yelled Spike. "You can do that?!"

"I never had to go all out like this," answered the Lord of Chaos. "But against someone like her..."

**The dragons roared and breathed huge columns of fire, reducing the bordering forest to cinder in one mighty blast of heat. The dragons continued their haunting roars, as they stomped and rampaged across the remains of the mountain range.**

**Yukari was able to evade the blasts with ease, hovering in the air and observing the mindless beasts below her. Her eyes narrowed when the dragons went quiet all of a sudden, before raising their heads as one to glare at the woman.**

**"I won't hold back anymore."**

**Wings were battering when the fire lizards took into the skies, heading towards Yukari. The youkai sage simply sighed and raised her fan… and with a wave, a shockwave of otherworldly power was flying to the dragons at speeds they couldn't even comprehend and reducing them to nothing in an instant. The horde kept coming, all too slow...**

**The youkai became the very last thing any of the dragons saw, before crumbling to dust the very next second by her powerful attacks. Yukari didn't even change the expression of utter boredom on her face.**

**"I am growing tired of your games," as she said this, four violet-coloured lights fired and encircled her, before flying out and annihilating the remaining dragons.**

"Even an entire army of dragons can't slow her down at all," whimpered Spike, getting a reassuring hug from Rarity.

"You smug little...," Celestia growled, scaring the others as the heat in the room skyrocket.

**At that moment, six rings surrounded her, growing larger and larger. As soon as Yukari noticed them, they started to glow in six different colours: orange, lavender, white, pink, blue and yellow.**

**Discord appeared in a safe distance from her, growling. "My turn. Consider this OVER!"**

* * *

**SPELLCARD - SONG OF HARMONY "FRIENSHIP IS MAGIC"**

* * *

"What in my name," started the sun princess, calming down in order to look at the screen in wonder.

**Six gigantic, familiar shapes formed out of the circles, attacking the surprised youkai simultaneously.**

**The first darted back and forth and released blasts of red bullets in her direction.**

**The second released a hail storm of purple lasers in a vaguely aimed fashion.**

**The third unleashed danmaku in a spiralling pattern around itself, before they started to spread towards its opponent like silk.**

**The fourth unleashed bursts of multicoloured danmaku of peculiar shapes, looking like clouds of confetti.**

**The fifth made fast dashes straight for Yukari, leaving behind a spraying trail of all colours of the rainbow, that persisted wherever they travelled.**

**The sixth and final one would back away from Yukari at a slow pace, releasing pink and yellow danmaku as if to feebly protect itself.**

"That are...," Celestia began, mouth agape in surprise.

"Hey, that's us!" cheered Pinkie, her mane poofing out again.

**Yukari simply gave a tired sigh as the attacks hit her all at once.**

***BOOM!***

**A moment later, a wave of lightning erupted, the speed and pressure of the shockwave turning the entire sky a pale white for a split second as the mach cone breached the stratosphere and burned against the ground.**

**The mushroom cloud formed from this could be seen from orbit, scattering the clouds and turning them into storms for a short moment before completely evaporating. When it finally dissipated, the once beautiful land was turned to a completely barren one. It resembled nothing but gravel, a newly formed crater the size of an island in its centre, so deep that the magma chambers were seeping out. What was left of the mountains was breaking away into space.**

"You know, since you are usually just messing around," gulped Rainbow Dash. "It's easy to forget how scary you can be if you want to."

**Yukari herself... looked completely unfazed.**

"WHAT THE BUCK!" screamed Celestia, shaking the entire castle.

"Not even a scratch," stated a horrified Discord, grapping the alicorn sitting next to him.

**"I believe that was but a love tap compared to what I'm going to do to you. Maybe less than that even. Are you growing afraid of me now that you realize that your tricks won't work on me?"**

**Discord starred at her in silence, then simply raised his left claw and snapped.**

**As he slowly walked away, Yukari was engulfed by darkness.**

"What is that?!" asked a disturbed Twilight.

"Something I hoped I would never have to use," said Discord. "Chaos in its purest form: Creation and destruction.

**Floating in an empty space, her body started to dissolve, as unseen forces ripped at her, devouring and annihilating her very existence. Despite this, she seemed completely calm, even as the flesh on her face faded away, showing a grinning skull. Holding up her left hand, she watched in curiosity as her fingers turned to dust before disappearing entirely.**

"Why is she so calm?!" asked a bewildered Spike. "She's dying!"

**"Not bad. Trapping me in a place that destroys everything within it, time and space included. It does hurt quite a bit," Yukari spoke as if she was taking a stroll in the park, her single eye looking at the edge of the black mass. "If this continues I actually might cease to be."**

"Oh heavens, she is planning something," stated Rarity, hugging Spike even tighter.

**She held the dainty fingers of her remaining arm out and squeezed them like someone catching a fly between his fingers would do.**

**Discord stopped, his eyes widening.**

* * *

**\- Boundary between ****Omnipotence and Impotence-**

* * *

**And the black space shattered apart, leaving the watching draconequus in a state of shock.**

"No, nonononononono!" gasped Discord, while Celestia throw her front legs around him, in the hope this would calm him down.

**"Mr. Chaos Spirit. Please, if I eat anymore, I'll grow overweight~," Yukari's disembodied voice giggled.**

"It's over!" moaned Discord, shaking in Celestia's embrace.

**"You were quite fun earlier," she complimented. "But you should know. You were dancing on the palm of my hand for quite a while. The fun had passed, and you're making me a sadist," Yukari whispered nonchalantly, as a single, floating eye ball watched Discord holding his right paw out.**

**A flash escaped his fingers... but nothing happened.**

**Starring at his paw in confusion, he snapped again.**

**And again.**

**And again.**

"She took away his magic! Now he's completely helpless!" yelled Applejack, pulling her hat down at its sides.

**As the Spirit of Chaos slowly raised his head in trepidation, he finally saw Yukari approaching, a smile on her face as red mist escaped from her still reforming torso. Her face was hidden in darkness… her mouth spread to a large predatory smile... showing of unusually sharp teeth… her eyes glowing with eldritch power... and then a multitude of bleeding eyes were meeting Discord's horrified face.**

**"That actually hurt. You completely ruined me... my clothes are ruined too... so allow me to repay the favour!"**

**Yukari raised her hand... and snapped her fingers.**

"Oh no...," whimpered Discord.

**Before Discord could comment of that final act of mockery to him... a gap opened behind him.**

**"It seems you can't be killed by ordinary means, just like me," said Yukari, as her body returned to normal. "In order to finish you, I suppose I just have to erase you from reality altogether."**

* * *

**MANIPULATION OF BOUNDARIES - ARCANIUM OF THE BATTLEFIELD**

**NON-EXISTENCE**

**"BOUNDARY BETWEEN CREATION AND ERASURE"**

* * *

**A series of hands grabbed the draconequus by his throat, face, torso and arms. The horror on his face only growing as he was pulled into the gap and dropped in the middle of nothing...**

**A white flash.**

**And he was gone.**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**\- K.O.! -**

* * *

"She erased him from existence. Just like that," mumbled Twilight, while the others were either silent in shock or crying slightly. Celestia still tried to soothe the draconequus, despite the tears running down her face.

**Fluttershy comes home, looking around and searching for Discord.**

**Yukari sits at a small table and finishes her tea, before entering a gap of hers... only for a second one opening up on the screen and her emerging from it.**

"What the buck!" roared Luna, shaking everypony out of their depression.

And finally waking Fluttershy up as well.

**Yukari: So you were the ones observing me... how rude.**

* * *

**4th Wall - Boundary between Fiction and Real**

* * *

Everypony starred at the screen in horror and confusion, but at least the shock of the youkai appearing distracted everypony from their distress.

"Oh my, what happened?" asked a confused Fluttershy, looking around.

"... Let's just say that Discord lost and Yukari took over the show," said Sunset lamely, while the yellow pegasus gasped before flying to the chaotic spirit and joining Celestia in comforting him.

**Jenny: Son of a...! What the hell?! How did you get in here?!**

**Yukari: Simple, boundaries~.**

**Jenny: What?! Rose, I thought you said you sealed this place!**

****Rosewood: **Do you really think I could stop someone like her? I'm actually surprised she didn't notice us sooner.**

**Yukari: Oh my~. Trouble in paradise?**

**Jenny: SHUT UP!**

**Yukari: (Giggling) So, are we going to sit around and chat idly all day, or is a review of the battle going to be in order?**

"Don't act so smug!" yelled an angry Rainbow, getting sounds of agreement from the others.

**Jenny: Urgh! Take it away, Rose! The sooner we finish...**

****Rosewood:** This fight... was surprisingly one-sided. In fact, Yukari could have ended it any time she wanted. Since she has never showed her full strength, the upper limits to her power are completely unknown, but even without getting serious, she outclasses Discord in every way possible. But let's take it from the top.**

"If it was so one-sided, why do it in the first place," grumbled a still shaking Discord, slowly recovering between the two mares, who were still hugging him.

**Jenny: For starters, both have very similar powers and abilities. Both are practically unkillable, can warp reality in their own unique ways and are seemingly omnipotent. But while Discord may be a power of reckoning, Yukari IS reckoning.**

**Yukari: You flatterer~.**

**Jenny: I hate my job...**

****Rosewood:** Please stop antagonizing her, I'm the one who has to deal with her when she goes all mopey. Anyway, Discord had no way of actually hurting her, since anything he could throw at Yukari could be easily redirected by her gaps or be disabled and countered by her boundary manipulation. Direct confrontation is therefore a no-go. He may be stronger and faster than any other being in Equestria, but compared to the inhabitants of Gensokyo, he's average at best.**

"Well, I guess that's true. Not like we could compete with century old gods," sighed Applejack, fluffing up her hat.

**Jenny: Don't believe us? Remember the strength of other youkai like Suika, who can topple mountains and destroy countries? Even they're intimidated by this granny. She dodges laser barrages for a living and can keep up with beings who can circle the moon in mere moments without trying. So Yukari effortlessly dwarfs him in this category. And this is her still holding back!**

"Kinda stinks that she never took him serious," stated Spike, understanding the feeling of not being taken seriously.

**Yukari: (Yawns) What can I say? Taking things seriously is so tiresome.**

****Rosewood: **Yukari was able to manipulate and outsmart gods, beings far superior to Discord. She can come up with hundreds of possible strategies to defeat him within seconds.**

"Yeah, and yet the finished him of in the cruellest way possible," growled Rainbow, getting a curios glance from Fluttershy.

"Why, what did she do?"

Everypony stiffened.

"You don't want to know, Flutters," Rainbow finally answered.

"Meep!"

**Jenny: Yukari's resistance to magic, mind control and illusions also means he couldn't distract or affect her for too long, if at all.**

****Rosewood:** Another matter of importance is their overall experience. Discord is more of a trickster than an actual fighter, preferring to manipulate or confuse his enemies into submission. Yukari on the other hand has no such restraints, she's capable and willing to outright kill her foes if she deems it necessary, to the point were even a massive loss of life is of no concern for her. She has challenged countless powerful entities and came out on top.**

"Heavens, that wasn't a fight, that was a stomp fest," sighed Rarity, releasing a disappointed Spike to fix her dishevelled mane.

**Jenny: And even if he gets over his inhibitions, he has no way of ending her effectively. Physical attacks are a waste of time, and even more creative approaches would most likely be useless. How do you kill someone who can survive suns and black holes being thrown in her face and walk it off? Even if Discord tries to teleport her into a sun or another dimension, she can easily escape or warp her way out. Or simply negate the damage.**

**Yukari: It would ruin my mood though...**

"You don't say...," deadpanned Luna.

****Rosewood:** It has been stated that the only way to stop a youkai of Yukari's magnitude, is to attack or purify their souls directly. Which is easier said than done. Even holy entities like gods or celestials weren't able to do so. The celestial Tenshi was capable of defeating several of the strongest youkai in Gensokyo with ease, but even after stabbing Yukari with the Sword of Hisou, she was still unable to kill her. And remember, this weapon is capable of erasing a being from existence.**

"Okay this is getting ridiculous, how do you even beat something like her!" yelled Starlight, throwing her front legs up in the air.

**Jenny: So Discord was pretty much boned before the fight even began. The complete opposite goes for Yukari. It was never the question of who would win, but when Yukari gets bored.**

**Yukari: Things can get dull, even in Gensokyo. So why not enjoy some fun when it presents itself~?**

"Tia, calm down. You're scaring Discord," warned Luna her fuming sister, who's mane was starting to smoulder. "And Miss Fluttershy too."

"Meep!"

****Rosewood:** In conclusion, her ability to manipulate boundaries trumped Discord's chaotic magic in every way possible. Yukari's power is stated **_**'to be capable of fundamentally undermining reality'**_** and ****_'surpassing the borders of reason and rationality'_****, while Discord's still works under a specific set of rules and limitations.**

**Jenny: And unlike Discord, there are no effective counters or weaknesses to her power, and given enough time, Yukari can easily find a get-around. Like when she found her way to the moon, despite the lunarian's effort to hide it by magic. Her magical reserves and stamina are also stated to be limitless, while Discord's however have defined limits. That was proven on several occasions, for example when he was visible tired after helping the CMC after a day of crusading. And don't forget, all his powers are linked to his magic. Without it, he's pretty much helpless.**

"Yeah, we saw that. Thanks for reminding us," said a strangely dark-pink coloured Pinkie, her mane once again flat on her head.

****Rosewood: **Yukari on the other hand had plenty of opportunities to end the fight prematurely. There is no way Discord could compete with someone like her.**

* * *

**YUKARI YAKUMO**

**\+ Stronger, faster and smarter**

**\+ Endless stamina and magic**

**\+ More experience and ruthless**

**\+ Immortality trumps Discord's**

**\+ Her powers outclass Discord's in every category**

**\+ Can counter everything Discord could throw at her**

**\+ Better weaponry and combat skills**

**\+ Could end the fight anytime she wants**

**\- Does not take the fight seriously**

**\- Does not use her full power**

**DISCORD**

**\+ Unpredictable**

**\+ His powers allows him to keep up with Yukari, to a certain degree**

**\- Weaker, slower and less experienced**

**\- Can be influenced by Yukari's manipulations**

**\- His magic and powers are inferior to Yukari's**

**\- Has no means to defeat Yukari, or protect himself from her for long**

**\- Helpless without his magic**

* * *

"Come on Discord, you heard them. She basically a universe-smasher," Spike stated, trying to console the draconequus. "There is no shame in loosing to someone that strong."

"Wise words young dragon," agreed Luna. "Now get up, I refuse to believe that somepony who defied us and our sister for so long would fall into such a state by something this!"

Discord slowly freed himself from Celestia's and Fluttershy's embrace, cracking his neck, then took his head off and gave it a good shake before putting it back on.

"You're right," grinned Discord, getting cheers from the others. "No point in whining. This Spirit of Chaos won't throw the towel that easily!"

**Yukari: (Claps) You really did your homework on this. I applaud that.**

****Rosewood:** Thank you. Since you're here anyway, do you want to join us? I got a delivery of fresh tea and cake this afternoon.**

**Yukari: Oh my, how generous~.**

****Rosewood:** Just ignore the singing tea bags.**

**Jenny: Hey, don't give away my cake! Anyway, once Yukari got serious, things got truly_ 'chaotic'_.**

****Rosewood:** ...**

The group: ...

**Yukari: ... Really?**

**Jenny: Ehmm... it ended in a_ 'snap'_? You got _'nothing'_ to worry about?**

**Yukari: That... was incredibly forced. Do you have do endure this every time?**

****Rosewood:** You get used to it. Also, no cake for you, Jenny. The winner is... Yukari Yakumo.**

**Jenny: Hey, wait for me!**

* * *

"Well, what do you guys think about this fight? Besides the obvious disturbed reactions?" Sunset asked the group.

"Future nightmares fuel aside, it was actually pretty interesting," Twilight mused. "To think that such powerful magic actually exists..."

"You're talking about nightmares? How do you think I feel?"

* * *

_**?: "Don't you worry, Discord! I'll give you cuddles, and read you stories, and tell you all about me! I was born on a Tuesday..."**_

* * *

"Pinkie, I'm grateful that you're trying to cheer me up, but I'll be fine," stated Discord, sitting back between Celestia and Fluttershy.

"But I didn't say anything! Gasp! Is there a second Pinkie? Do I have another sister?" answered Pinkie, bouncing back to her usual self, looking around excitedly. "Where are you?! I want to hug you, and then we can bake cakes and be the best sisters ever! Well, besides Maud, she is..."

"Pinkie, calm down!" interrupted Twilight.

"Oh Celestia, give Trixie strength...," sighed the blue pony. "Everypony, look at the screen."

Everypony in the room now looked back at the screen which had changed to show a very familiar pink pony.

* * *

_**Pinkie Pie: "Isn't this exciting? Are you excited because I'm excited I've never been so excited, well, except for the time that I saw you walking into town and I went (gasp) but I mean really, who could top that?"**_

* * *

"Seems that Miss Pie is next," said Luna, dodging the overly excited pink hurricane jumping around the room in high speed. "We are worried who her challenger might be."

"After this fight, I guess we all are," agreed Cadance.

One could hear upbeat music, as Pinkies' opponent came into view.

* * *

_**?: "Save the world?! You're going on world-saving missions without us?! I'm hurt! Sad! Maybe a little hungry. That last one's not your fault..."**_

* * *

**A girl in pink clothes and ginger hair appeared, smashing black-furred monsters with a gigantic hammer, laughing madly all the while.**

"So this is her opponent," stated Applejack. "She seems... enthusiastic?"

"Great, another pink airhead...," sighed Trixie.

"She looks like fun!" laughed Pinkie, stopping in front of the screen.

"Of course you would say that," smiled Sunset, chuckling.

* * *

_**?: "No more moping around! We gotta get your butt in shape for the big fight! It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could be the most important fight of your entire life!"**_

* * *

\- NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE -

**PINKIE PIE VS NORA VALKYRIE (RWBY)**

* * *

"Nora Valkyrie," hummed Luna. "A strong name. We can expect much from her."

"I just hope the fight is not such a buzzkill like the last one," grumbled Rainbow, getting a new stash of snacks from the table before settling back on her cloud.

"Only one way to find out!" sang Pinkie, grapping the remote with her tail.

As soon as everypony got comfortable again, she hit the button, starting the next episode.

* * *

_The fight was heavily inspired by ['Yukari vs. Aizen' by hakuxtemari] and ['Angelica vs. Yukari Yakumo' by Hyperjade], so please check out their works too._

_And yes, I support Dislestia._


	4. DBX: Equestria vs Gensokyo

**Touhou Project Special: Equestria vs. Gensokyo**

There was a flash and once again, Discord appeared in the mystical Land of Illusions: Gensokyo. Looking around carefully, seemingly expecting for something unpleasant to happen, he quickly pulled out a scroll from his left nostril.

"Didn't expected to come here again... like ever," he grumbled, unrolling the paper and taking a look on it. "Let's cut this short: since there a so many possible match-ups between the ponies and those wackos around here, and we don't have enough time to do them all individually, were going to have a series of short matches, DBX style. 12 fights in total, and the one with the most victories under his belt gets fame, lap dancers and bragging rights. Or whatever we can find at the closest junk shop. Who cares?"

With a snap of his claws, the scroll was replaced with a cuckoo clock.

"Well then ladies and gents, let's get this show on the road!" he smirked, before pausing and turning an interesting shade of fish. "Before 'You-know-who' notices my presence!"

_('Notice'? I already know you would come back long before you did. We're going to see each other again very soon, my little draconequus~. - ?)_

* * *

**Equestria vs. Gensokyo!**

**No Rules, just Bloodshed!**

**The Battle starts now!**

**Ready. Set. FIGHT!**

* * *

**Round 01: Starlight Glimmer vs. Reimu Hakurei - The Protagonist**

Reimu Hakurei is the Shrine Maiden of the Hakurei Shrine and the main trouble solver in Gensokyo, alongside her friend, Marisa Kirisame. She is exceptionally talented and gifted, but her laziness makes her hate training.

Despite that, she resolves incidents anyway, and she's friendly and gets along with everyone, including youkai. This passive attitude towards monsters doesn't sit well with most of the humans in Gensokyo, which means her shrine doesn't get many visitors... or donations.

Powers and Abilities: Danmaku, Manipulation of Auras, Barrier Creation, Shrine Maiden Powers, Flight

Reimu is a skilled fighter with knowledge on many youkai, gods, and other spiritual beings. She is also extremely perceptive. She has an innate knack for using her powers, even those she doesn't fully understand, weaving them into her movements and attacks without fully realizing or intending to do so.

Feats: One of the inventors of the Spell Card System; regularly fights and defeats powerful opponents in rapid succession

Weaknesses: Reimu is incredibly lazy and thus hasn't reached her true potential, instead relying on her sheer talent.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

"Remember, the most important thing is to focus," advised Starlight Glimmer. "We don't want a repeat of our little mishap with the map."

"Trixie never makes the same mistake twice." Trixie rolled her eyes. "Besides, you've told me this already. Let's just get on with it! I think I've got it this time."

Starlight gave a quiet sigh at her friend's impatience and took a step back. "Okay then, whenever you're ready."

Trixie lowered her head, staring intently at the book. After a deep breath, a soft glow began to envelop her horn as she focused her magic, gradually brightening as it built up.

"Ah..."

Starlight's heart skipped a beat. That wasn't what she thought it was, was it?

"Ah... ah...!" Trixie's face contorted as the sneeze welled up, her horn still aglow with her prepared spell.

"Trixie, careful!" Starlight bit her lip. "Quick, the spell! You need to-"

"CHOOOOO"

A blinding flash engulfed all of Equestria.

**\- FIGHT! -**

"-dispel the magic before... you... ugh."

Starlight grumbled, raising a hoof to her forehead in irritation. "Trixie, what am I going to do with you?" She sighed before looking around. There was a stone path that appeared to stretch a little ways further into the woods, halting at a small building; though its architecture was entirely unfamiliar, it reminded Starlight of a very small palace. She frowned. Where _was_ she...

"Oi, tiny pink horse."

With a surprised yelp, Starlight turned around. Behind her stood a human, dressed in a very strange red and white outfit, including a large red ribbon that sat atop her brown hair. Said human crossed her arms idly and cocked an eyebrow questioningly. A slight pressure started to weight down on a now extremely nervous Starlight.

"Mind explaining why it's raining tiny horses all over the place?"

"Uh..," Starlight stuttered. She had a bad feeling about this. How can somepony look so bored, yet be so terrifying at the same time? "You see, the thing is... it's a bit... complicated?"

"Ah, I understand," Reimu's eyes narrowed. "So you'll only start talking when I beat you up first?" She pulled several ofudas from her sleeves. "If you insist. It is kinda my speciality."

Starlight gulped. "Oh Celestia and Luna buck me..."

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Reimu Hakurei (TP 1 : MLP 0)

* * *

**Round 02: Applejack vs. Suika Ibuki - Honest Powerhouse**

Suika Ibuki is a typical oni who loves drinking and fighting. Before appearing in Gensokyo, she lived in the Underworld, and even before that, she lived on Youkai Mountain as one of the four 'Devas of the Mountain'.

Suika bears the typical personality traits of most oni, valuing strength and fair play while despising dishonesty and cowardice.

Powers and Abilities: Superhuman Strength, Manipulation of Density and Sparseness, Danmaku

Suika's ability to manipulate 'density' gives her the power to control the density of any given object. Or to put it simply, assembly and dispersion. She can turn into mist, create smaller versions of herself, make herself giant, gather and disperse crowds and control them, and create black holes, among other things.

Feats: One of the strongest beings in Gensokyo; capable of casually causing earthquakes and topple mountains with only her physical strength; destroyed the fake moon; controlled the majority of Gensokyo's population at once

Weaknesses: Suika is nearly constantly intoxicated and rarely takes things seriously.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

Applejack and Suika are standing in front of Sweet Apple Acres, several empty buckets next to them.

"Ok sugar cube, thay goal of apple bucking... stop ya gigglin'!... is ta kick the tree ayn' let the apples fall into one of those buckets. Whoever finishes her 100 trees ferst, wins. Any questions left?... Do ya ever stop a-drinkin'?"

"Nwever!"

"If ya beat me, ay'll treat ya to as much cider as ya can drink. But if ay win, ya gonna help with this seasons workload. Deal?"

"Deal horshey!"

"Ay'm not a bucking horse!"

**\- FIGHT! -**

Grumbling silently, Applejack trotted up to the closest tree, giving it a calculating stare. Then, with a sudden burst of speed, she turned around and gave the tree a well-placed kick with her hind legs. The tree shook slightly, until a burst of apples fell into the previously provided buckets, leaving the tree itself completely empty from said fruits. With a satisfied grunt, Applejack turned to Suika. "Ayn' that there's how it's done. Ya try it!"

The oni grinned. "Not bad, horsesy! But thaet's chow you do kit!" Taking another deep gulp from her sake gourd, she walked up to the farmer. "Watch nthis!"

Suika slowly raised a leg... and then slightly tapped the ground beneath her.

This action caused the entire apple farm to shake from the shock wave, uprooting nearby trees and fracturing the ground around her.

There was a moment of silence.

And then an apple fell down. And then another.

And then every single apple of the entire orchard fell to the ground at once.

With a satisfied smirk, Suika turned to the unconscious pony next to her. A little stream of white smoke resembling Applejack's soul floated out of her mouth. The oni watched in interest as it slowly rose to the sky.

"Sho, abnout thapt chidar of yoursch..."

**\- K.O. ! -**

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Suika Ibuki (TP 2 : MLP 0)

* * *

**Round 03: Rarity vs. Shou Toramaru - Hidden Gem  
**

Shou is a tiger youkai living at the Myouren Temple as the avatar of Bishamonten. As she attracts wealth, she is one of the only things that draws any humans to the predominantly youkai-inhabited temple in the first place.

In public, Shou remains gentle, composed, and dignified. However, when around closer friends, she has been known to show more emotion. She has apparently even flown into a rage a few times. She is also a heavy drinker, though the Buddhist faith prohibits that.

Powers and Abilities: Danmaku, Gathering Treasures

Shou's ability allows her to gather treasures. After she has gathered precious gems, she can use their radiance in combination with the Jewelled Pagoda to fire lasers that can reduce anything to ashes. Moreover, if she fires those lasers at the ground, more gems will be created.

Feats: Avatar of Bishamonten, the Japanese Buddhist god of warriors and warfare

Weaknesses: Shou's powers are dependent on the pagoda and she doesn't have much in the way of physical abilities.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

Shou and Rarity are facing each other, one backing away nervously, the other advancing with an eager smile and gleaming eyes.

**\- FIGHT! -**

Rarity's horn glowed and with a yelp a helpless Shou was dragged behind the fashionista.

"Come darling, there's much work to do and so little time! If I want to finish the dresses on schedule, I need as many gems as you can provide. Can you do rubies? I need at least several dozen of those. Round faceted, reddish pink, but not quite reddish pink-"

**\- K.O. ! -**

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Rarity (TP 2 : MLP 1)

* * *

**Round 04: Fluttershy vs. Kisume - Wallflower**

Kisume is a rather shy Tsurube-otoshi who usually spends her time in buckets. She is often seen in dark places such as caves or wells.

Powers and Abilities: Ability to drop Will-o'-the-wisps

Her main (only) way of defence and attack is to literally drop will-o'-the-wisps. It probably comes from her species as tsurubebi (lit. 'well-bucket fire'), thought to be the same as tsurube-otoshi. Her spell cards have danmaku dropping vertically, which would be the specialty of her species.

Feats: Midboss in the Subteranean Animism incident

Weaknesses: Extremely shy.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

Fluttershy and Kisume are currently standing 10 metres across each other, nervously watching the movement of the other.

**\- FIGHT! -**

With a yelp, Fluttershy dived under a conveniently placed table, shaking like a pile of jello in an earthquake. At the same time, Kisume jumped into her bucket, mirroring the pony's action.

...

...

...

\- 5 hours later -

Their friends are currently trying (and failing) to coax those two out of their hiding places.

**C****onclusion:** This match is a draw (TP 2 : MLP 1 : Inconclusive 1)

* * *

**Round 05: Rainbow Dash vs. Aya Shameimaru - Boisterous Speedster  
**

Aya Shameimaru is Gensokyo's resident reporter, known for writing 'slightly' exaggerated news articles about anything that happens. She's also a tengu that prides herself to be the 'fastest' in Gensokyo.

Powers and Abilities: Superhuman Speed, Flight, Manipulation of Wind, Danmaku

Aya is quite intelligent and is extremely skilled, being one of the most experienced youkai in Gensokyo. She is also quite thoughtful and very hard-working.

With her power to manipulate the wind, Aya can create gales of incredible strength whenever she pleases. She can also 'listen' to the wind to collect rumours, a useful power given her job as a journalist.

Feats: Strong enough to accidentally win battles without trying to; able to fly around the entire moon in an extremely short amount of time

Weaknesses: Aya is somewhat arrogant and prideful.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

"Okay, listen! There can only be ONE fastest flyer around here, and that's ME! To prove that, we're gonna fly to Canterlot, grab a flag and come back here..."

"Done."

"... Wait, what?"

"I got the flag already. So, about that interview with this dragon-donkey guy... hey, you alright? Looking kinda pale there."

**\- FIGHT... Nevermind, it's over already -**

**\- K.O. ! -**

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Aya Shameimaru (TP 3 : MLP 1 : Inconclusive 1)

* * *

**Round 06: Pinkie Pie vs. Yuyuko Saigyouji - Pink Terror Supreme**

Yuyuko Saigyouji is the ghost princess of Hakugyokurou, the shrine of the Netherworld. Possessing the powerful ability to kill anything, Yuyuko was overwhelmed and, terrified, committed suicide. She was buried under the Saigyou Ayakashi, sealing away its blossoms, and she returned as a ghost, incapable of vanishing or reincarnating as long as the seal still stands.

Powers and Abilities: Manipulation of Death, Manipulation of Departed Souls, Danmaku

Yuyuko often makes bizarre and apparently nonsensical remarks and sometimes seems to overlook the obvious, leading to her characterization as an airhead. Despite her eccentricity and apparent ditzy nature, she will reveal an extremely cunning and perceptive side and will also sometimes display an extraordinary level of knowledge if necessary.

Yuyuko has the ability to end the life of any living being, from humans to youkai. No resistance exists against this ability, and there are nearly no exceptions in who it affects. It is a simple and exceptionally powerful ability.

Probably originating from the term 'hungry ghost', she is also known for her incredible appetite and seems to have a food-related metaphor for any situation. Yuyuko is truly 'dead and loving it'.

Feats: Intellect comparable to that of Yukari Yakumo; has control of all the spirits in the Netherworld; was able to weaken the Netherworld's barrier

Weaknesses: Yuyuko rarely takes things seriously and prefers to stay in the background.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

"Alright, everypony, settle down!" Princess Cadance said through the microphone. "Thank you all for coming. We are now holding the first Ultimate Eating Contest of Equestria, where these two contestants will fight for the right to call herself the 'The Ultimate Glutton'! On my left, we have the undisputed champion from Ponyville, Pinkamena Diane Pie! On my right, we have the equally unchallenged Princess of the Netherworld, Yuyuko Saigyouj!"

The princess summoned several plates with cakes, muffins and other pastries and put them on the table. "On the count of three," she said to the two pinknettes. "You will start eating. Your goal is to eat as many plates as you can in ten minutes. If you can't keep your food down, you will be disqualified! Okay, ready? Three! Two! One!

**\- FIGHT! -**

Within nanoseconds, the first plates were already flying empty from the table. As well as an blushing princess with bite marks on her rump.

\- 10 minutes later -

"Aaaand, TIME'S UP! There is a tie between the two contestants! What we're gonna do is they're gonna eat one mo-," Princess Cadance stopped talking when Yuyuko's head fell on her remaining cake.

*SPLASH*

"I. Regret. Nothing. BURP!"

"... Oh, uh, okay, nevermind. Pinkie Pie has won the contest!"

"Yay! BURP!"

*SPLASH*

"Oh dear. MEDIC!"

**\- K.O. ! -**

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Pinkie Pie (TP 3 : MLP 2 : Inconclusive 1)

* * *

We'll be right back after a brief word from our sponsors:

**FUCK!**

We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

* * *

**Round 07: Twilight Sparkle vs. Marisa Kirisame - ****I love Books**

Marisa Kirisame is an 'ordinary' human magician specializing in flashy heat and light-based magic and a notorious and proud kleptomaniac, especially when it comes to books. She's built herself up as a great magician through nothing but hard work and dedication to her craft.

Powers and Abilities: Danmaku, Magic

Marisa is an average human with no innate abilities, but she has trained herself in magic, using exotic mushrooms as ingredients and her Mini-Hakkero as a power source. The majority of her spells rely on power over finesse and are themed after stars and other astronomical phenomena. Many of Marisa's best-known spells are replicas of spells used by other characters that fit her tastes, though she has also experimented with them to create improved versions.

Feats: Regularly fights and defeats superior opponents in rapid succession; math and potion genius

Weaknesses: Marisa's magic lacks versatility, and she's not very skilled in close combat.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

The witch had no idea what had happened. She was just flying above the forest, and all of a sudden, she was standing in the middle of what looked like a library with an, quite frankly, absurd amount of books. Not as absurd as Patchouli's own collection, she doubted anyone could top that, but still impressive.

Not that she minded. Looking around, Marisa took notice of the fact that was completely alone in the library. She grinned.

Alone with books.

With no one hindering her of 'borrowing' one or two of them.

Or one or two dozen.

\- 5 minutes later -

Marisa yelped as she briefly lost control of her overloaded broom. Regaining her balance and re-positioning the book-filled bags on the handle, she slowly flew to an open window.

In that moment the door to the library opened and purple unicorn trotted into the room... and came to an abrupt stop.

For several seconds, neither moved. The two simply stared at one another.

Then Twilight broke the silence. "MY BOOKS! YOU THIEF! GIVE THEM BACK! NOW!"

**\- FIGHT! -**

With a roar, Twilight fired an purple bolt of magic at the witch, who managed to dodge it with barely any effort.

"Hey, that's pretty neat! You know, I've got some magic too - you wanna see?"

Reaching into her pocket, she produced a small wooden block that appeared to be covered in intricate carvings. Before Twilight could get a better look at it, however, Marisa pointed the block directly at her...

"Here I go, ze~!"

... and fired.

A brilliant flash of light engulfed the room, prompting Twilight to duck and shield her eyes as an enormous beam of energy erupted from the block in Marisa's hand. The force of the blast whipped up the air around them, barely missing Twilight and obliterating several book shelves in an instant. After several seconds had passed, the beam finally began to fade.

Slowly Twilight removed her legs and stared in shook at the remains of her library. No trace of it, not even ash, remained in the space where the beam had struck.

"Ha, that never gets old," Marisa brushed a stray hair from her face.

*THUMP*

Cue Twilight fainting and keeling over.

"Huh. Neat."

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Marisa Kirisame (TP 4 : MLP 2 : Inconclusive 1)

* * *

**Round 08: Spike vs. Chen - Little Assistant**

Chen is a bakeneko youkai and the shikigami of Ran Yakumo.

Powers and Abilities: Transformation, Black Magic, Shikigami Powers, Danmaku

As Ran's shikigami, she's Yukari Yakumo's as well, making her a 'shikigami of a shikigami'.

Chen is quite childish and cat-like in her behaviour, a testament to her young age (for a yokai).

Feats: Was chosen as the shikigami of the legendary nine-tailed fox, Ran Yakumo

Weaknesses: Chen absolutely HATES water, which actually makes her weaker.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

Spike and Chen are facing each other in one of the many corridors of Twilight's castle. Chen was readying her claws while Spike was taking a deep breath.

**\- FIGHT! -**

With a roar, Spike spit a burst of emerald-green flames at the nekomata, which she skilfully dodged... only to trip over a mop conveniently leaning against a wall.

"NYA?!"

Trying to regain her balance, she overlooked the bucket next to the mob and fell butt first into it.

*SPLASH*

"NYA! C-COLD!" Chen yelped, reverting into her cat form in shock, desperately trying to crawl out of the water.

Spike could only face-palm as he watched Chen's struggles with his cleaning utensils of all things.

**\- K.O. ! -**

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Spike (TP 4 : MLP 3 : Inconclusive 1)

* * *

**Round 09: Trixie Lulamoon vs. Cirno - The Strongest there is**

Cirno is an ice fairy, who brags to be 'the strongest there is'. Which is partially true, if one considers the power level of an average fairy.

Powers and Abilities: Manipulation of Ice, Danmaku, Flight, Immortality

As a fairy, Cirno is exceptionally strong for her kind, matching the power of some weak youkai. However, compared to most of Gensokyo's residents, she's still quite weak.

Fairies embody the life force of nature itself, which means as long as ice and cold exist, Cirno will always be revived and can regenerate instantly when she dies.

Cirno has the power to manipulate cold, to the point of being able to easily freeze water. She is surrounded by a perpetual chilly aura that freezes her surroundings, and she can create large blocks of ice and icicles in an instant.

Feats: Capable of instantly freezing enemy danmaku; can throw huge ice spheres at near light-speed

Weaknesses: She's physics-defyingly stupid.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

"Oh buck, oh buck, oh buck!" Trixie cursed, running around the lake she found herself next to after her 'little' mishap. "If Starlight finds Trixie, she's gonna kill Trixie! Trixie is too Great and Pretty to die!"

"So noisy!" a voice suddenly yelled out, causing Trixie to trip over.

Groaning, she got back on her hooves, looking around for the owner of the voice. A small girl with a blue dress and equally blue hair floated over the water, landing right next to her. She also seemed to have six wings made of ice.

"Great, exactly what Trixie needs! A little pipsqueak with wings!"

The ice fairy huffed. "I'm not little! Dai-chan says I'm over four feet big! That's a lot!"

Trixie groaned. "That's not what Trixie meant. Also, how much is a 'feet' anyway?"

Cirno blinked, before lifting her foot and measuring it with her hands. "Five times two fingers! That means five inches!" she answered proudly.

Trixie face-hoofed in annoyance. "Are you an idiot?"

"_'Idiot'_?" Cirno asked, her voice suddenly quiet.

"Huh?"

"You called me an idiot."

"That's because you are!"

"THE ONE WHO SAYS 'BAKA' IS THE ONE WHO'S A BAKA!"

"What? What's a _'baka'_?" Trixie asked, only to shuffle back as the girl began to float into the air.

"BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA!" she continued to shout as polar winds began to circle around her and her hands began to glow blue. She then lifted them above her head, causing a chariot sized ball of ice and snow to form above her. "_BAAAAAAKAAAAAAA!" _she screamed as she hurled it down at the blue pony.

**\- FIGHT! -**

"Holy buck!" Trixie screamed, barely dodged the massive projectile in time, tumbling over the ground before coming to a halt several metres away. Jumping back on her hooves, she backed away from the still fuming and advancing fairy, waving her front legs in a (hopefully) placating manner.

"C-calm down. p-please! Trixie didn't mean it! Trixie only wanted to know how much a feet is in hooves!"

Cirno came to a halt directly before the shaking show pony. Silence.

"... How big are your hooves?"

"H-huh?"

"How big are you hooves? I need to know how big a hoof is to know how big I am!"

"Uh... the same as... your feet... maybe?" Trixie offered.

Cirno counted off on her fingers as Trixie took a few steps back. "One feet... that's... five times two fingers... so, five inches... times four...," a pause, as Cirno ran out of fingers and started over. "One, two, three...," a few beats, as she ran out again and lost track. "... Where was I again?"

"Five times four," Trixie sweat-dropped.

"Four... eight... two... six...," Cirno counted slowly. "Zero!" She frowned. "Zero? That can't be right?"

"_Twenty_," a far away voice corrected.

"Twenty," Cirno awed. "Twenty. That's a lot of inches. ... how many hooves would that be? Hmm...," she began counting on her fingers again. "Four, eight, twelve, ten... nine? No, that's not right. My head hurts..."

Trixie meanwhile was just a small dot in the distance.

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Trixie Lulamoon (TP 4 : MLP 4 : Inconclusive 1)

* * *

**Round 10: Luna vs. Kaguya Houraisan - Princess of the Moon**

Kaguya Houraisan was once a princess of the lunarians, but was exiled to earth over a thousand years ago for the crime of using the forbidden Hourai Elixir to make herself immortal. Arriving on earth, she was found by a bamboo cutter and dwelt among the humans.

After several centuries of isolation, she was eventually reunited with her frenemy Mokou, who had also used the Hourai Elixir to become immortal, and the two continued their feud, murdering each other on a nearly daily basis.

Powers and Abilities: Eternal Youth and Immortality, Manipulation of Eternity and Instantaneous, Danmaku

Kaguya can manipulate both eternity and the instantaneous. By applying eternity onto other people and objects, she can trap them in a state of immutability. Things that possess eternity reject all change; they can't change and cannot be interacted with or affected by outside forces.  
Through manipulation of the instantaneous, Kaguya can perceive and exist within different timelines, and she can manipulate the instantaneous so that things can happen in a literal instant.

By combining her powers with Eirin's knowledge of medicine, they created the Hourai Elixir, which can grant perfect immortality. Kaguya's soul was made eternal and invincible, forcing her to live out her existence forever. The effect is irreversible and cannot be copied or interfered with, she will always be restored to pinnacle condition.

Feats: Her absolute immortality will allow her to outlive time itself; regularly fights Fujiwara no Mokou to the (literal) death

Weaknesses: Kaguya is lazy and has little experience in hand-to-hand combatant.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

Kaguya peaked around the corner, looking at the back of her enemies in the distance, several troopers in heavy armour. They were shooting down from the top of their base, while stepping back and forth in order to avoid the counter fire. She ducked behind her cover. "I'm in position, where are you, Reisen?"

"Over here, princess!" the bunny girl in question ran up behind her. She knelt behind the rock and looked over it at their foes. "I don't think we have much time, I ran into another guy on my way here."

"So they already know we're here."

"Yes, your highness," Reisen looked at her sniper rifle. "I've only got four rounds left before I'm stuck with the pistol."

Kaguya grinned at her servant and held up her assault rifle. "Three-hundred rounds, each with their names on it~."

"You move in first princess, I'll give cover fire if they notice you. Move to the courtyard and draw their attention. I'll come up behind you and give cover fire. Once we've distracted them, the others pinned down at the other side will be able to move in."

"Sounds good," Kaguya edged carefully around the corner and brought her rifle up.

**\- FIGHT! -**

"Ready when-"

Reisen's head exploded in a spray of red gore. Her body slowly slumped to the ground, blood still spraying from the stump of her head.

Kaguya gasped. "What?!" She looked behind her and saw an enemy trooper aiming at her. She didn't even have time to finish her cursing before the rifle fired.

"SON OF A B-!"

*BAM*

**\- K.O. ! -**

Gensokyo Battle Front: Message Board

Moon_Cheeks: _huzza! head shot!_

Moon_Cheeks: _the true princess of the moon prevails! pwned! PWNED!_

HotForEternity: _kmmfa! U fcking camping bitch! U were behind us all time! sob_

Moon_Cheeks: _legitimate strategy_

HotForEternity: _new round new map_

HotForEternity: _now_

Firebird: _haha nob_

HotForEternity: _uy mokou!_

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Luna (TP 4 : MLP 5 : Inconclusive 1)

* * *

**Round 11: Celestia vs. Reiuji Utsuho - Empress of the Sun**

Reiuji Utsuho is a hell raven and the regulator of the flames of the former Hell of Blazing Fires. Her abilities come from devouring the Yatagarasu, and were granted to her by Kanako Yasaka in the god's attempt to create an energy source for Gensokyo. Essentially, this means that Utsuho's own body actually houses a divine spirit. However, she misinterpreted Kanako's intention and decided that she would use her newfound, immense power to conquer all of Gensokyo and incinerate any who opposed her.

After having some sense 'talked' into her, she returned to her previous job and is now using her powers to provide energy to the people of Gensokyo.

(Yatagarasu, also known as the three-legged crow, is the messenger and envoy of the sun goddess Amaterasu.)

Powers and Abilities: Manipulation of Nuclear Fusion (this includes electricity, magnetism, heat, radiation, etc), Flight, Danmaku

Utsuho is able to manipulate the ultimate energy, nuclear fusion. Basically, she's able to manipulate the same temperature as the highest heating power in the natural world, the sun (furthermore, by the spells that she uses, she is also able to bring forth the same gravitational attraction).

Utsuho is also very knowledgeable when it comes to nuclear fusion and fission.

Feats: One of the most powerful beings in Gensokyo; can create artificial suns; nearly destroyed all of Gensokyo and the Outside World

Weaknesses: Utsuho can run out of the materials needed for nuclear fusion and is somewhat oblivious and naive.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

Celestia and Utsuho were flying above the ground, slowly circling each other. The hell raven smirked at the royal alicorn. "What's the matter Sun Butt? Nervous?"

Celestia scoffed. "I'll not be provoked that easily, young lady."

"Too bad, here I go!"

**\- FIGHT! -**

Raising her left arm to the sky, Utsuho charged a miniature sun at the tip of her index finger, which quickly grow to the size of a small house. "Catch!"

Celestia was able to dodge the enormous projectile, if just barely, and was now preparing her counter attack, when she noticed a sudden pull behind her. Confused, she turned around and froze.

Instead of disappearing, the burning ball of death was now floating directly behind her... and still growing.

Before she could do anything, she was sucked in by the gravitational force of the now castle-sized sun.

"Bye!" Utsuho waved cheerily, before snapping her fingers.

*EPIC BOOM*

**\- K.O. ! -**

**C****onclusion:** The winner is Utsuho Reiuji (TP 5 : MLP 5 : Inconclusive 1)

* * *

**Final Round (12): Cutie Mark Crusaders vs. Three Fairies of Light - Unstoppable Force of Cute**

The Three Fairies of Light (also called the Three Mischievous Fairies), are a small group of fairies composed of Sunny Milk, Luna Child and Star Sapphire. They are known for causing mischief to humans by playing pranks on them using their powers. All three of them are living in a tree close to the Hakurei Shrine.

The 'three lights' refer to the sun, moon and stars, the most clearly visible lights in the sky. It is from these lights that the fairies derive their power and after which they have been named.

Powers and Abilities: Manipulation of Sunlight, Muting of Sound, Detection of Moving Things, Immortality, Flight

* * *

Sunny Milk: Sun Fairy

Sunny Milk is the leader of the Three Fairies of Light. Energetic and very curious, she is also fond of delicious foods and any kind of liquor.

With her power to manipulate sunlight she can bend light to create minor illusions and make herself and others invisible.

Luna Child: Moon Fairy

Luna is often described as clumsy and stupid at times. She has a rare characteristic for a fairy: she loves coffee beans and is sometimes seen stealing some from humans, and she is also fond of alcohol.

She is able to mute all the sounds around her. Also called the 'the ultimate fairy weapon in hide-and-seek'.

Star Sapphire: Star Fairy

Out of the three of them, Star has the most common sense. She is also smart enough to let the other two take the fall for their pranks while she escapes.

Like a radar, she is able to sense things that exist from afar, as long as they're moving.

* * *

Those three are well known for their teamwork, able to combine their talents to do what they could not achieve on their own. However, they often fail regardless.

Feats: Made themselves well known throughout all of Gensokyo for their pranks

Weaknesses: Like all of their kind they're plagued by the typical fairy stupidity, overconfidence and lack of physical strength. Their individual powers also become weaker when the sun, the moon or the stars are not visible.

* * *

**\- The Battle -**

"Prank war! Whoever pranks the most ponies, wins!"

**\- FIGHT? -**

\- Somewhere in the Multiverse -

"Looks like I am no longer needed," a gigantic purple man mused, absentmindedly snapping his fingers to some random beat.

**C****onclus...** Forget about that, start running!

* * *

"Oh boy, that escalated quickly," Discord grinned, lazily floating above the mayhem beneath him, revelling in the chaos. He stopped, before floating a little to his left, casually dodging a confused Derpy with dizzy Cirno on her back.

"Not that I mind, but this is going to leave quite a mess," he mused, stroking his beard as he watched a certain red shrine maiden rampaging around, pre-emptively knocking down any pony, youkai and human she comes across with an unconscious Starlight in her grip.

"I concur, I do not envy the poor soul who has to clean this up afterwards."

"Ha! As long as it isn't me, I couldn't give a flying tuuuurrrrrrd..."

"..."

"..."

"Long time no see~! How are you feeling these days?"

Cue Discord screaming in a high-pitched voice and teleporting away in a flash.

"Oh my, seems like someone is still a little antsy around me~," Yukari Yakumo giggled as she crossed her legs, leaning back on the gap she appeared from. With a flourish motion she pulled her fan out of nowhere, covering her smile with it, before winking directly at the 4th wall.

"I hope you all had fun!"

There was a loud explosion and screams in the background.

"I sure had! Next time, we'll have the long awaited fight between Miss Pie and Miss Valkyrie. Until then~!"

* * *

_Still struggling with writing the fight between Pinkie and Nora, I have written 3 or 4 so far, but I wasn't happy with them. But I'm back and the next part will (hopefully) come out soon!_


End file.
